The End Of An Era

Isetan Lot 10 will close its doors and will cease to operate from 3 August 2015. This also means it’s the last three days to shop there. I will miss it very much: after all, this is the place I head for almost every Friday and sometimes during the weekends too. I became an Isetan cardmember when Isetan first opened its doors at Lot 10 way back when, when I was still a student. I like Isetan KLCC but I always feel it’s slightly pricier (because Isetan Lot 10 carries more sale items or items with higher discounts). I’m indifferent to Isetan The Gardens while Isetan 1 Utama is too far for me to shop there (it doesn’t impress me either).

Like I said, I will miss Isetan Lot 10 very much and feel its absence greatly. Now, where will I spend my Friday lunchtime?

Miss Nerdy Librarian No More

I had been contemplating doing LASIK surgery on my eyes and even discussed it with my mate, C. We contemplated going to Professor Dr Muhaya (alas, I don’t think she’s at Prince Court Medical Centre any longer. She does have her own clinic but in Kajang and too far for me) and discussed it on and off for the past couple of years. It was just that though: discussion and I must admit I never did more research than that. I only started considering it seriously after the blasted corneal ulcer in my left eye in May and did some basic research.

I was at Lot 10 in June for my facial when I found out about Optimax road show at Lot 10 that very day to celebrate its 20^th year. I paid a visit and bought a voucher for the eye test (you need to do an eye test first to see if LASIK procedure can be done on your eyes). I then called up Optimax and set up an appointment for the eye test for 11 July 2015. It’d be exactly seven weeks since my corneal ulcer treatment at Gleneagles. I didn’t know if it was too soon but reckoned the experts would be able to advise me. The friendly person who took my call also asked if she could slot the surgery for me for the same day. I wasn’t sure then so I said no. However, after thinking about it, I thought, heck, I was going to do this anyway so I might as well do it on the same day. So I called back Optimax on Monday and asked for a slot to be scheduled so I could proceed with it if the eye test turned out to be successful.

Finally the day arrived. I had CT to help drive me and lend support for the test. I had Ashley, a friendly vision consultant assigned to me and he took me through a series of tests. Oh by the way, I had been advised and reminded not to wear any alcohol on the day so no perfume and no body spray and I was careful about the moisturiser that I used that morning too. My NIVEA deodorant is alcohol-free phew so that was OK. (You also need to lay off wearing contact lens for a few days before the test but I had already stopped wearing contact lens since the corneal ulcer episode.) There was a test to check my retina, a test to check my vision, power, ‘reading test’ to check if I was colour blind etc, etc. I also had some eye drops put in to dilate the pupils. I also met up Dr Stephen Chung in between the tests and he was forthright with me. He said that the corneal ulcer left a moderate scar on my left eye retina and I might have to undergo a different procedure for that eye.

Now, there are three different treatments at Optimax: the Customised All Laser Lasik aka FemtoLasik; the ReLEx smile; and the Customised Advanced Surface Ablation Lasik (ASA). The FemtoLasik method lifts a flap of the cornea using a vibrating blade called microkeratome. An Excimer laser is then used to vaporise some amount of inner corneal tissue. This is the basic method and costs the least. The ReLEx smile method is a minimally invasive technique which allows more corneal tissue to remain intact while the ASA removes the top layer of cornea (epithelium) before applying Excimer laser. The ReLEx and ASA methods cost about RM2K more and the ASA method is more complicated and would take up more recovery time. I started praying hard that I would be able to do FemtoLasik for both eyes. Oh, before I forget: Ash also said I had two options, to go for either 20/20 vision or monovision. He said my right eye (dominant eye) could see far while my left eye could see near objects and they compensate each other. If I choose 20/20 or perfect vision, chances are I would need reading glasses sooner than if I chose monovision. No, sadly, LASIK does not correct presbyopia so I would still need them later on but it would only be for reading instead of relying on the darned glasses all the time forever. And really, if you have been wearing glasses for as long as I have (since like forever! I wore it when I entered Standard 1 okay), the freedom from wearing glasses is really something to look forward to. After the corneal ulcer episode, I can no longer wear contact lens for fear of recurrence. Ash also alerted us of what could go wrong but assured that the chances of that were minimal.

I told Ash my preferred method of surgery which was FemtoLasik and that I would go for monovision. He then gave me a contract to read over so that I would be aware of my rights and responsibilities. After about ten minutes, I was called to sign the contract and witnessed by another vision consultant. You pay for the treatment at this stage and you have an option of paying in full or on interest-free instalment. Then I waited to be called in for surgery. I thought I had a slot at 2 p.m. but Ash said he thought he saw an earlier slot for me. I told him an earlier slot would be much better as it meant I could go back and rest for longer before it was time to break fast.

I was then called into the treatment area. We had to take off our footwear before entering the area. After a while, I was brought to the changing room where I had to change into a blue-coloured suit with a cap to cover my head and covers for my feet. The nurse then handed me a kit which contained the Do’s and Don’ts, a box of Refresh Plus lubricant eye drops, a TobraDex eye antibiotic, a pair eye patches complete with tape to hold them in place (I’m to wear them to sleep in case I accidentally knocked my eyes while sleeping), and some Ponstan as painkillers. Then I sat down to wait. I also read my novel to take my mind off the procedure. I was a bundle of nerves then! We did hear some countdown ’20, 19, 18, ...’ followed by another similar countdown shortly after.

Finally it was my turn. Dr Stephen called me and again explained to me what was waiting for me. He told me what was expected of me: to focus on the green dot and not blink. ‘Don’t fall asleep ok’, he added, ‘we need you to stay awake.’ Maybe some patients found the anaesthetics too strong that they fall asleep during the procedure? He also told me that he still wasn’t sure of my left eye but would try his best. He mentioned the countdown, that I just needed to bear the procedure for 20 seconds per eye and then they would repeat the procedure again using another machine. I told him that I wasn’t and never would be the bravest person in the world and asked that he bear with me. Oh, he also made some marks on my eyes with a pen (!). And then suddenly it was my turn. No turning back now!

I somehow made it to the operating theatre and laid down on the ‘bed’. There was a head rest for your head and then the bed moved slightly so that the machine was directly above my right eye. Dr Stephen taped my eye lashes and placed something over my eye to keep it wide open and to stop me from blinking. He continued talking to me, walking the procedure through to me, giving me encouragement and telling me to keep focusing on the green light dot. I felt as if I was staring out into space with all the planets and celestial bodies but in 2D. The green light was like a star and I focused on it. I did feel as if the green light was moving I did wonder if I was supposed to follow its movement but suddenly the light had shimmered into a bluish hue. There was a countdown at this time and I remember thinking ‘Oh so that’s what the countdown is for.’ I was a bit afraid if I could not keep my eye open for the 20 seconds (yes, 20 seconds only!). ‘What if I blink?’, I wondered although it was not possible for me to blink of course. Then Dr Stephen declared it was over and that he would proceed to the next eye. He also said that a nurse would hold my hand and I could sense someone coming over. I already had my hand out by then and I held (maybe gripped) her hand all throughout the procedure, which was just like the first eye.

After that, I had to get up and was guided to an adjacent operating theatre where again I had to lie down. The same procedure was repeated with a lot more eye drops and fluids and another countdown. I did smell something burning (I wonder what?) during this procedure.

Before long, it was over. Over! I was led out where I had a brief session with Dr Stephen. Then I changed back into my clothes and left. You must don your sunglasses by then so I did.

I had read up a few accounts of LASIK experience and generally they all said they experienced tearing eyes throughout the afternoon and some even lasting up to late the same evening or even early next morning. So when I got back at micasa, I changed clothes, performed prayers then went to bed. I had a ready box of facial tissues by my bed and went to bed. I got up just after 4 p.m. for some eyedrops and tried to get back to sleep but by then I was already restless and fidgeting. Alhamdulillah I didn’t have much tearing and I didn’t feel any smarting of the eyes either. I kept off books and Quran the whole of Saturday and Sunday. OK, I did finish up the few pages of my previous novel but that was all.

On Sunday, I went to Optimax again for a check-up. Check-ups are regular: the following day after surgery, a week after, a month after and three months after. I had to go through some simple eye tests and Dr Stephen also saw me and declared he was happy with my progress. My next follow-up is on Thursday, yes, the day before Eid.

So that was my LASIK experience. Thank you CT who helped read and do research on the various centres offering the service, helped drive me to the centre on Saturday and Sunday and helped provide support to scaredy me.

Goodbye glasses, goodbye contact lens and solution (already said goodbye to them seven weeks ago), and goodbye hopefully nerdy librarian look. ‘I look good in glasses,’ says no one ever. And this is why I can never understand those who actually wear non-prescriptive glasses for fun. We who need(ed) to wear prescriptive glasses can’t wait to be rid of them so why do some invest in non-prescriptive glasses?

If you ask me, the only glasses that make anyone look good are sunglasses.

And even then you will never be this cool.

My Birthday Weekend (3-6 July 2015)

There was a MAS offer recently and I availed of it by buying a return ticket to Jakarta. I had planned to take leave on my birthday anyway. So I too half-day leave last Friday and made my way to KL Sentral during lunch. i decided to travel light and not check in my bag as I didn’t want to wait for my bag like we did the last time I went to Jakarta in Ramadan. I had also done some research and decided to take the airport bus from Sukarno-Hatta International Airport to either Thamrin Mall or Gambir Station, and a cab from there to the guesthouse.

We took off on time and landed 15 minutes early. I cleared immigration quickly and made my way to the bus station. The bus frequency to Gambir and Thamrin Mall is every 15 minutes and one hour respectively so it was a no brainer. The ticket cost me IDR40K. I didn’t have to wait long; the bus arrived within minutes and we were already moving by 17:45. I broke fast on the bus.

We arrived at Gambir Station at 18:30 and I went out to the main road to hail a cab to the guesthouse. I reached the guesthouse about 20 minutes later (Jalan Cikini Raya was jam-packed!). After checking in, I ventured out to find dinner but nothing caught my fancy so I headed to Carrefour to buy some juice, tea and titbits.

On Saturday, I took a cab to Tanah Abang market. I had to ask for directions and finally found my way to Block B where I took the lift to the 5^th floor. I spent some time browsing the stalls before buying some caftans and innerwear for myself and some shirts for dad. I then decided to check out the other floor selling Muslim clothes at SLG (not sure what it stands for but it was below LG). Man, big mistake. There were a lot more people here and if there’s anything I really hate, it’s crowds. And from what little I saw, the things down there cost more than similar ones at the 5^th floor. I couldn’t wait to make my escape and hurried out as soon as I could.

I then decided to walk to Sarinah Department Store but was given the wrong direction and ended up in another area. Finally, I took an angkot back heading towards Tanah Abang, got down at a junction before the market area and took a bus to Sarinah. I walked in Sarinah but it was clear that as much as I dread the crowds at Tanah Abang, everything at Tanah Abang was at a fraction of the prices in Sarinah.

I didn’t stay long at Sarinah. I took the overhead bridge, crossed over and walked to Plaza Indonesia. Now this was more my kind of place: spacious, comfortable, air-conditioned, clean and posh. I availed of he complimentary wifi before exploring the mall. Then I crossed over to Grand Indonesia. At 17:15, I went to Food Louvre to find iftar. The food court was packed and I shared a table with a well-to-do family. I didn’t know if the trays were meant to deter anyone from sitting but as I didn’t know they were a family, I decided I’d sit there. Besides, like I said, the food court was packed. There was an announcement when it was time to break fast. I had pulled noodles but it was just average. The ones in KL tasted wayyy better!

After dinner, I decided to head back. I asked the cabbie to drop me at Cikini Station and went to Carrefour to shop for more juice and crackers before returning to the guest house.

On Sunday, I ventured to Tanah Abang again. I decided to take a bus this time. Missed the earlier bus by a minute and the next bus was packed to the rafters. I got down at the last stop and joined the thronging crowd descending on the market. It could be the crowd descending upon the Haram during Haj – that was the size of the crowd indeed and I’m not exaggerating.

I found the stalls I went to yesterday but ended up buying some innerwear from other stalls as they cost less. It was then when I started feeling stomach discomfort. So much so I had to use the bathroom there. Thank God it was clean. I even wondered if it was because of the lettuce in yesterday’s pulled noodles or the three slices of cucumber in this pre-dawn meal’s fried rice.

I left after an hour and walked to Plaza Indonesia. It took me only 22 minutes. I started feeling uncomfortable in Plaza Indonesia and decided to return to the guest house. And it was a good thing I did for I started feeling queasy. It turned out to be food poisoning and I was in bed for the rest of the afternoon and early evening. I ventured out briefly to ask the staff to buy me some ORS, isotonic drink, crackers and chicken porridge. It was a Sunday so unfortunately the pharmacies were all closed. The staff returned after an hour and I dragged myself up to receive the tray of food and water. I just ate the porridge devoid of any chicken. After sending the tray back to the kitchen, I returned to bed.

I got up a few times during the night to use the bathroom and every time I woke up, I made sure I drank some Pocari Sweat. I actually drank about 1.8 litres of Pocari Sweat in those few hours!

The next morning, I woke up for my pre-dawn meal. I forced myself to eat and managed only a quarter of the fried instant noodles. I went back to bed and rested a bit, drank more Pocari Sweat and forced myself to eat some crackers and dates.

I got up again after 7 and had a shower. Felt slightly more human after the shower. I had packed the day before, braving the pain. I felt that I could maybe take the airport bus and hailed a cab to Gambir Station. I bought the bus ticket and boarded the bus just a couple of minutes before I left. The bus took only 45 minutes to get to the airport and it went to Terminals 3 and 1 first before finally stopping at Terminal 2.

My bladder was bursting so I went to the bathroom first (clean! Thank God) before dropping off my bag. Then I went to clear immigration before walking slowly to my gate. The tummy was still delicate.

CT helped select seat 6B for me during check-in but I moved to row 20 as I wanted to lie down. The flight was uneventful, thank God, no turbulence or whatnot.

We landed at KLIA at 13:50, 20 minutes earlier than scheduled. Well done, MAS! I was home by 3 p.m.

That was my seventh trip to Jakarta, my fourth in Ramadan, and my first of food poisoning... oh well, there’s always a first time for everything I suppose.

Without You

It’s just another year.

Another long year to get through.

Another of your birthday.

Another Mother’s Day.

Another of Abah’s birthday.

Another Ramadan.

Another of my birthday.

Another of Akak’s birthday.

Another Syawal.

Another year spent.

All without you.

They say time heals pain. I don’t know if I’m healed, I think I still am healing. I don’t know how long this will take me because to be honest, I don’t know if I will be completely healed. It still hurts after all this time and to some, enough time has gone by surely. But it still feels like yesterday when I could hear and see you. I miss your advice and calming words and I know I disagree with some of your points at times but I don’t discard them outright.

I know I’m not the easiest daughter to have or the easiest to live with what with my stubbornness, my tantrums and my bad temper. But I always try to the best of my ability to be a good daughter to you and Abah. I do try to be a good girl, a good Muslim, a good daughter, niece and aunt. I walk on the right side, walk on the straight and narrow, do not litter, do not spit, do not hurt others, in short, do not do onto others what I don’t want to be done on myself. I don’t smoke, do drugs or drink, never have and insyaAllah never will. But all that is not enough because every living being will be called to meet their Maker.

My Syawal has been bleak, boring and gloomy without you. I don’t feel like celebrating like everyone else. There’s no cause for celebration for me without you with us.

A thousand tears will not bring you back. But I do so wish we could be together again. Because I miss you so much, more than words can ever say.

I MISS YOU, MUMMY. SO MUCH IT HURTS. Al-Fatihah.

Ramadan Ramblings

I don’t think I’m incorrect in saying that we girls are an insecure lot. We keep seeking reassurance of how we look and even we are assured that we look pretty, fine and dandy, we are still not satisfied with the answer (because hey being pretty is not as good as being gorgeous or beautiful). We wonder if the person we ask is being truthful or just tactful, we scrutinise ourselves critically in the mirror trying to find fault with our poor selves, and even if everyone says we look good, we don’t want to believe it. We refuse to accept we are good enough, we compare ourselves relentlessly to celebrities, and we keep thinking ‘If only my eyes are bigger, my nose sharper, my mouth fuller, my cheekbones more pronounced, etc etc etc’. In short, there is just no satisfying us. And you know, you can’t quite blame us for being insecure when we are constantly bombarded by advertisements, articles, documentaries of how an ideal girl looks like, never mind that we are made up of different genetics, body statures, observe different diets, do different jobs, come from different backgrounds and live in different environments.

To make it worse, we also have those mean spiteful malicious women who look down on and put other women down. They are not happy to see others happy and content with themselves; no, instead they are intent on destroying other girls because they are insecure, unhappy and discontent themselves. Why? Why can’t the fairer sex be true to its name and be true and fair to fellow females? Why are we our own worst enemies? Why don’t we help each other, encourage each other and pick someone who’s fallen down instead of pushing her down further? It’s bad enough that we can never have it right: a thin girl is slated for being thin and encouraging others to observe poor eating habits and less-than-normal lifestyle, while an overweight girl is criticised for neglecting herself, for not taking good care of herself and for not living a healthy lifestyle.

It’s not wrong to be insecure; after all, girls are known for their insecurities. It is wrong though to be so insecure with oneself that one resorts to putting others down just so that one would look better. It’s not wrong to envy someone for looking good as long as it prompts us to better ourselves too. But it is wrong to be harsh and critical of another. I believe a beautiful person is one who is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside and someone who is spiteful, malicious and mean is not beautiful to me no matter how gorgeous on the outside s/he is.

So girls, let’s strive to be our best, bring out the beautiful girls that’s within ourselves. Be confident of yourself and don’t let anyone stop you from realising your dreams. Don’t let anyone’s criticism or harsh words bring you down. Exercise, get enough sleep, observe a healthy lifestyle, follow a healthy diet, and be kind to everyone else.

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Peter Cech to Arsenal? I don’t know what to make of this. I don’t trust the Chav club owner or the despicable manager at all to believe they would sell him to us. And if we get him, what will happen to Ospina or Szcz? But what do I know. I don’t know if I want him, if he’s going to be such an upgrade to our current goalies. Sure, he was a decent one but he hasn’t been a regular starter for the Chavs of late.

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I think it’s time to update my Bagaholic post. I’ll get around to it. In the meantime, I seriously want these bags. Sponsors and donations are welcome. Yes, I know that there are a lot of people more in need of the bare necessities like those affected by the quake in Nepal and Ranau, Sabah. And yes, I’ve done my little bit to help them. It’s not wrong to covet a couple of bags, yes?

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It’s a week into Ramadan today and I trust it’s not too late to wish you Ramadan Kareem.

Story Of The Eye

I was on medical leave the whole of last week due to corneal ulcer. Say what, corneal ulcer?! Yes, that was the first time I heard of it myself too.

My left eye started smarting and tearing on Tuesday, a fortnight ago. It got so bad that I decided to set my vanity aside and wear glasses to work on Wednesday. The white eye looked red and thinking it was conjunctivitis, I went to the panel clinic. The GP took a brief look and said it was conjunctivitis too. She said it was at the early stage and gave me some eye drops. She did ask if I needed medical leave and I told her that as I was already at work, I might as well work.

The eye seemed to improve on Thursday evening and it didn’t look red any longer. I did notice a white dot in my black eye though. Thinking it was nothing, I decided to wear contact lens to work the following day.

Well, it was fine until shortly after lunch when my left eye started tearing and smarting again. This time, it was worse than on Tuesday. I somehow made it through work and the journey home half-blind. It worsened that evening so much so it hurt to even read, what more watch TV. Even the light overhead hurt. I had already decided to go to an ophthalmologist the following morning and had checked those at Ampang Puteri and Gleneagles. I decided on the latter and went to bed just after 10 p.m.

I woke up just after midnight and my left eye was really hurting. It was leaking fluid of some sort and when I tried to open my eyes, I could barely see out of my left eye. I wiped off the fluid and tried to go back to sleep but sleep was elusive. I laid awake suffering and hurting and prayed that it would get better soon. My eye kept leaking fluid so much so I wondered if I had an abscess in it.

I reached Gleneagles after 9 on Saturday and went to the Accident and Emergency department. A medical officer examined me and noted the white dot in my left eye. She was not comfortable and rang up the ophthalmologist on call. He was at another clinic at MidValley and would only come at 2 p.m. so they offered me a bed to lie down in or to go home and return. I decided to stay instead. a nurse came and helped put in some eye drops before patching up my left eye. I tried to rest but it was next to impossible as there were people passing by and although there was a curtain to accord privacy, it couldn’t filter out the noise of a hospital: the trolley being pulled, the chatter of nurses, even the snore from the patient in the next bed. Somehow time passed and I was gently awakened just before 2 p.m. by a nurse who told me the ophthalmologist had already arrived.

The ophthalmologist examined my eye and subjected it to some tests. I had to open my eye wide, had some eye drop put in, stare at the light while he took some sample. I’m not a brave person, never have been and never will be, I fear pain and don’t welcome it and the very thought of someone scraping my eye for a sample didn’t sit well with me at all. It was soon over though, thank God. The good-looking doctor told me that it was a corneal ulcer and that the cause was contact lens. Say what? Corneal ulcer? I never knew there was such a thing and what did he mean it was from my contact lens? He also told me that to bring the eye drops given by the GP and tell her that not only had she given me the wrong medication, it would even worsen my eye condition. He lamented the fact that some GPs would just do a quick check and conclude it’s conjunctivitis when it could be something much more serious.

He prescribed me some eye drops and I went to wait. After 15 minutes, a nurse came out and told me the medication would take some time to prepare and that I might want to either return later or lie down. ‘Three to four hours,’ she said and I stared at her in disbelief.

Well, I didn’t stay there but instead, feeling sufficiently better, made my way to KLCC. I returned later, at 7 p.m. and there were four eye drops waiting for me with various instructions.

So that was how that Saturday was spent and how last week was spent (I was dying of boredom even before Monday was over!). Alhamdulillah I’m recovering well although I have to wear those stupid glasses now. I’m seriously considering LASIK now.

FA Cup Final 2015: Arsenal vs Aston Villa

I’ll let the pictures do the talking.