It’s just another year.
Another long year to get through.
Another of your birthday.
Another Mother’s Day.
Another of Abah’s birthday.
Another Ramadan.
Another of my birthday.
Another of Akak’s birthday.
Another Syawal.
Another year spent.
All without you.
They say time heals pain. I don’t know if I’m
healed, I think I still am healing. I don’t know how long this will take me because
to be honest, I don’t know if I will be completely healed. It still hurts after
all this time and to some, enough time has gone by surely. But it still feels
like yesterday when I could hear and see you. I miss your advice and calming
words and I know I disagree with some of your points at times but I don’t
discard them outright.
I know I’m not the easiest daughter to have or the
easiest to live with what with my stubbornness, my tantrums and my bad temper. But
I always try to the best of my ability to be a good daughter to you and Abah. I
do try to be a good girl, a good Muslim, a good daughter, niece and aunt. I walk
on the right side, walk on the straight and narrow, do not litter, do not spit,
do not hurt others, in short, do not do onto others what I don’t want to be
done on myself. I don’t smoke, do drugs or drink, never have and insyaAllah
never will. But all that is not enough because every living being will be
called to meet their Maker.
My Syawal has been bleak, boring and gloomy
without you. I don’t feel like celebrating like everyone else. There’s no cause
for celebration for me without you with us.
A thousand tears will not bring you back. But I do
so wish we could be together again. Because I miss you so much, more than words
can ever say.
I MISS YOU, MUMMY. SO MUCH IT HURTS. Al-Fatihah.
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