Not Just For Appearances’ Sake

I am not one of those blessed with good looks. In fact, I was a little Ugly Betty growing up minus the braces with my horrible glasses, long braided hair parted in the middle, and my gawky, clumsy and awkward movements. And no, this entry is not about an ugly duckling turning into a swan.

Despite us having ordinary looks, Mummy would make a lot of noise about grooming, about looking smart and presentable. She hated to see her girls (that’s Akak and me) dressed sloppily - she frowned if we wore, God forbid, flip-flops, and even she knew baggy pants or tops looked simply horrible on anyone. Mummy also disliked seeing me wear jeans (but this is no longer an issue as I simply couldn’t stand wearing them either as the British weather gradually grew warmer). And while we are not natural born beauties, we can make an effort to look nice: heck, anyone can look nice either by masterful or skilful application of make-up (which I never quite master) and grooming. And any other ordinary person will come across as simply stunning if he/she also possesses good social etiquette, a kind heart, a charming smile and no malice.

I bought my first lipstick when I was in my final year at uni during winter sale. And as none of my classmates wore make-up (except for kohl that those inclined to hippy style and goth looks were heavily applying), the lipstick was stashed in my wardrobe and almost forgotten until graduation day when my aunt asked where my make-up kit was as she wanted to make me up. She was surprised to discover I didn’t possess any make-up apart from my lip balm and Olay fluid. So she did me up with her make-up (and as a result, I looked a mini-her on my graduation day).

Even then, it took me a while to get hooked on lipsticks. Mummy and Akak used to tease me if I left for work or shopping without any lipstick on because I looked, in their words, like a pale Chinese lass. And once I got used to buying lipsticks, I couldn’t seem to stop buying them. At one point, I had shocking, saucy brown lipstick in my possession. But that is all I ever invest in: lipsticks and lip-liners. No mascara, no nail colour, and until recently no face powder (I use talc instead). But I love all toiletries: shower gels, foam bath, body lotion, body butter, hand cream, body talc, fragrances etc, etc.

Mummy also believes strongly that we should dress decently, neatly and smartly. No daughter of hers is going to be seen with torn, tattered or shabby clothes. And I remember her saying if you can afford it, flaunt it. In this context, it means if you can afford designer and branded clothes, by all means, go ahead and buy them, because you deserve to and Because You’re Worth It. And while it is not wrong to buy clothes from the night market, why stoop that low and mistreat yourself if you can afford better than that? (Of course, if you can’t afford branded stuff, stick to unbranded stuff instead of wearing fake and being pretentious). So even in those casual university days where I observed the universal student dress-code (t-shirt, sweater or jacket and jeans, and pumps or Converse shoes as footwear), I made an effort to look like a casual, intelligent student. Besides, when you treat yourself and dress well, you feel good. How can you feel good when there are holes in your socks or inner wear, tote a fake Ferragamo or sport a fake Rolex?

I must admit I did dress sometimes inappropriately to work especially when we used to work on Saturdays. But I try to dress professionally on weekdays and I try to abide to the in-house dress code. I’m no prude or goody-goody but I can appreciate why a dress code is necessary and hence I cannot understand why people can’t obey it. Nor can I understand those who can’t make the effort to look nice to work. One of my colleagues used to dress in drab, dull-coloured garb and I remember telling my friend, ‘I have nothing against her but she goes out of her way to look plain.’ Because I pride myself for taking the time and effort in dressing up for work and looking nice and presentable, I don’t understand why others can’t do the same. Yes, there are times when I wish TheOrganisation adopts Dress-down Fridays but I understand that being a conservative organisation which deals with the public and other stakeholders, this may be a bit difficult to implement.

Having said all that, I must admit that there are days when I simply am not in the mood to work; simply can’t be bothered to go to work, much less make the effort; and sometimes simply not feeling well to dress up. And between you and me, I did walk around university in my rock-and-roll ripped jeans – much to the disapproval of my more conservative seniors.

Like I said before, this entry is not a Hans Christian Andersen fairytale story of an ugly duckling metamorphosing into a graceful swan turn true - but hey, even ugly ducklings can look nice if they make the effort to. And oh, I may need to take a re-look at my wardrobe as people (and Chinese gentlemen at that) still mistake me as a student (oh what a boost to my ego) and a Chinese despite donning the scarf as recently as last week!