Thursday, January 02, 2020

The Year That Was: 2019

UPDATED

2019 followed on from 2018 and was a challenging year for me. It was full of trials, headaches, heartaches, pain, disappointment and more. It was a testing, trying, tiring, frustrating year and at times I felt just about ready to give up. I continued being worried about my dad and his ongoing health issues - just as I thought he was doing OK again when something came along. I felt weary, tired, beat, exhausted, drained, spent, knackered emotionally and physically. I had to deal with work issues, dad, siblings, attempting to manage and maintain two households. Of course I would be ungrateful if I said nothing good ever happened in 2019. I did experience fun and laughter and love too and am now more connected to my girlfriends.

Each day that races by and each year that goes by bring me further and further away from Mummy. And yet I miss her with such intensity that it still hurts to this day.

I continued thinking of death especially when two of my high school seniors died while they were abroad (one was buried in Turkey, another in New Zealand). And yet I haven’t done much about my will. Oh dearie me.

I also kept reminding myself to be grateful. Grateful for what I have, what I enjoy, what I’m blessed with. Grateful that I still have my dad around. Grateful that he’s still mobile, that he can still see from one eye, that he can still take medication to ease his pain.

I got depressed at the never-ending conflicts in Syria, Yemen, Palestine, Myanmar and the new one in Kashmir. I worried about climate change. I kept abreast somewhat of protests in Hong Kong, Chile and many others around the world. And all these helped in a way to make me feel grateful and thankful of my own situation, that my problems were nowhere as large as others’. There are many other people with more pressing, critical and serious problems and needs.

I got disillusioned by humanity at times and got hurt by men too specifically by the two lowlife thugs who mugged me in May and left me injured and now bearing physical scars (probably until I die). I also got hurt when my beau ended our relationship. Heart pain, heartache, heartbreak. I know I could never be the ideal eligible bacholerette but am I always destined to be a failure to launch forevermore? I don’t think there’s an age limit to falling and being in love but I think I’ve had enough of men breaking my heart and causing me pain.

I also managed to squeeze in some trips (getting fewer now because I have to be around more for dad) and managed to visit six new countries, alhamdulillah:

January: Flew to Dhaka, Bangladesh, at month-end
February: Came back from Bangladesh
March: Visited niece in Kota Bharu
April: Went to Penang for a short weekend
May: Flew to Adelaide
June: Didn’t manage any trip
July: Took a train trip to Taiping
August: Went to Banda Aceh on the first weekend
September: Flew to Europe and visited many places I’d never been to
October: Flew to KK during the Deepavali weekend
November: Visited niece in Kota Bharu and then went to watch U2 in Singapore at month-end
December: Flew to Pakistan on Donghzi and back on New Year’s Eve

It was a very hard year for any Arsenal supporter and it got so bad that I had stopped watching them. We finally parted ways with Emery (too late but better than never), had Freddie for a while and now we have Arteta.

I managed to read 154 books in 2019 (155 in 2018, and 150 books in 2017 and 2016) and I hope to keep my target at 150 books this year too, insyaAllah.

I went for morning walk/jog occasionally and embarked on more regular exercise since going for physiotherapy for my scoliosis. I still had my cravings for junk food but that and the occasional instant noodles aside, will continue to try eat healthily. I want to live simply, consume less and experience more. I want to invest only in classic designs be it clothes, handbags, shoes, accessories and jewellery. I stood up for my beliefs and challenged the dinosaur thinking of having t-shirts for every occasion. Say no not just to single-use plastic but also to single-use clothes!

Happy New Year 2020. May this year be a much better than the previous ones for us all. May this year bring us much joy, love, happiness, peace, iman, good health, wealth and prosperity, success and good fortune. May we have enough strength and courage to face the trials, challenges and tribulations. May we be strong to face come what may, insyaAllah, and may Allah keep us safe in His care and bless us, ameen.