Two
people I know got married within four weeks of each other. One to a single
again man and another was a single again man himself. I don’t think it’s an
easy thing, to be married to a man (or woman) with children from a previous
marriage. One has to woo the adult while winning the hearts of the children.
They may be fine with you dating their parent, but are they as receptive to the
idea of you replacing their other parent?
I
don’t think it was easy for Mummy to marry Abah (and indeed she didn’t want to
at first) and inherit five instant children, all who were likely brainwashed by
their maternal grandparents of how evil Mummy would be. Stepmothers always have
a bad reputation, don’t they. I mean, we grow up with those stories of evil,
wicked stepmothers – Cinderella and Snow White, our fairy tale heroines, both
have stepmothers.
But
perhaps it’s easier now in this modern day to get used to this idea what with
the numerous failed marriages around us. You get used to the idea and it’s no
longer a foreign concept. Indeed, a few of my maternal cousins are married to
men who had married before. In this age where love becomes more difficult to
find, maintain and nurtured, we see more people in their second, even third,
marriage. We can’t deny or begrudge the second chance some have at love. We
just hope that this would be the right one and wish them happiness.
When
I look back upon my past relationships, I’m hard-pressed to recall if I was
ever in love. I don’t think I can say with all honesty that I was in love with
any of the guys. Some were fun while they lasted, some not so. And although the
demise of each relationship left me somewhat shattered, I don’t think I was
ever in love in any of them. And it makes me wonder if I will ever love, if I
will ever find my love, if there is one. If maybe I’m just unfeeling, have lost
my feelings or maybe, if I even have feelings. Sure, the end of them was always
painful and hurtful, but love?
Oh,
I know I’m fussy and hard to please and some people have told me to lower my
standards/expectations. I’m not yet prepared to do this but I suppose I would reconsider
if and when I meet the right person - which I haven’t had just yet.
And
I suppose this is what people do when they meet their right person, when they
meet somebody to love: they accept and adjust their expectations. And who knows,
I might actually meet someone I have feelings for and do the same one day.
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