Big Brother

One of my brothers told Abah last month that another brother (yes I have quite a few of them) is not well. Hardly surprising considering this brother smokes like a chimney and has been doing so for a good part of his life now. He’s the only one in the family who smokes and he has been smoking ever since he was a teenager at a boarding school (I don’t know why Abah thought he only started smoking after he got married).

I think it greatly disappoints and pains Abah to see my brother puffing away and seemingly dependent on cigarettes. He had once collapsed at work many years ago (premature heart attack?) and was hospitalised for a few days. But this didn’t teach him a lesson and he was soon puffing away again.

I used to be very close to him when I was small. I used to look up to him. He was a hero then to me. He was so clever (he’s the smartest of his siblings) and Abah was so proud of him. Sadly I’ve drifted apart from him for many years now so much so I feel like we’re total strangers and there’s this awkward silence when we sit together. For someone academically gifted and intelligent, he’s made some unwise decisions and, worse still, he seems to smoke himself to death. As a kid sister who used to look up to him, I am disappointed in him over his life choices but I think this pale in comparison to my dad’s disappointment in him (I don’t want to get into the details here).

I just hope it’s not too late for him – to change his ways; to get better; to seek help; to come to terms with his errors and try to make amends especially to Abah whom he has let down.

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I was a tad surprised (but surprisingly not too alarmed) to see a spade in my backyard on Tuesday. Mummy said it wasn’t there on Sunday morning when they came so it could have somehow landed there after we left later that morning or on Monday (if I did look out of my window on Monday evening, I didn’t notice it then). How did it get there, when and why? I only removed it yesterday evening as I noticed it too late on Tuesday to remove it then.

Hmmm. Wonder if I should start installing a CCTV or something to that effect.

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Saya telah memutuskan untuk mengalih kotak maklumbalas/papan conteng siber saya selepas ini (untuk seketika atau selama-lamanya?) bagi mengelak seekor harimau daripada meninggalkan maklumbalasnya yang saya dapati amat menyakitkan hati dan menjengkelkan. Saya fikir ini adalah langkah terbaik buat masa ini. Pilihan lain ialah untuk menghadkan laman blog saya hanya kepada individu tertentu (di mana mereka perlu mendaftar terlebih dahulu sebelum mereka dapat membaca laman blog ini - tetapi saya tidak mahu pula menghadkan mereka yang menjumpai laman blog ini secara kebetulan sepertimana saya tidak mahu dihadkan daripada mengunjungi laman blog orang lain); menukar alamat laman blog ini (tetapi saya sukakan alamat laman blog saya!); atau memantau maklumbalas yang diterima (tetapi ini akan mengambil masa saya). Jadi saya fikir ini cara terbaik buat masa ini (sesiapa yang ingin memberi maklumbalas boleh menghantar emel kepada saya; lagipun bukannya selalu saya menerima maklumbalas pun).

Ya, saya maklum bahawa saya masih tidak cukup matang untuk menangani maklumbalas yang menjengkelkan. Saya tahu saya seharusnya mengambil sikap tidak menghiraukannya tetapi maklumbalasnya memang membuat saya geram.

Sekiranya anda mempunyai bantahan atau cadangan yang lebih munasabah, sila kemukakan kepada saya secepat mungkin sebelum saya mengalih kotak maklumbalas ini.