Making An Entry Out Of Nothing At All

As the title may suggest, this is a posting of various random topics.

Of late, I have been having light headaches and a strange urge to throw up in the morning. I wonder if they are all due to my taking my pills now in the morning instead of after dinner. I even had a headache and the urge to throw up while watching Quantum of Solace and I even thought, gosh, people might think I was sick of Daniel Craig! And I’m not at all sick of DC – because a blond, blue-eyed Bond is actually a refreshing change. In fact I can’t decide who I like more between the two Brits: Daniel Craig and Christian Bale (DC or CB, how’s that for name initials?).

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I was struck by a morbid thought of being dead on Sunday morning (I think my subconscious mind was still thinking over what my friends and I discussed over our late (and prolonged) lunch after the movie on Saturday). And I wondered:

- If someone will mourn for my death
- If anyone will miss me when I’m gone
- If anyone will offer prayers for me when I’m dead
- If anyone will attend my funeral and visit my grave.

Because I know a lot of people who are, and had been, Dying Young.

I think the worst pain for any parent is to outlive his/her child(ren). Parents expect to be survived by their children, not to witness and bear their death. But I sometimes wish that I will die first before my parents because I’m not sure if I can survive life without them. Who’s going to take care of me then (is this a selfish thought?)?

But Abah already had been tested when my half-sister passed away.

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I was looking at my small collection of boarding school pictures and golly, I hate how I looked back then. Think Ugly Betty minus the braces.

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My mate just told me that she would be relocating to the Big Apple by end of the year so Kenya is off for now (dang it). She has invited me over but as I have been there, I’m not likely to take up on her offer just yet.

Besides the USD and the THB too have appreciated so much over the past few weeks making trips to the US, Thailand and other countries that use these two currencies more expensive. I find it a little puzzling, what with the see-sawing stock markets and street protests in Bangkok earlier, how do these currencies appreciate?

And oh, I dreamt of visiting Kazakhstan (must be because of last night’s edition of The Amazing Race) and Warsaw (?! been there, and been pick-pocketed too) last night.

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I don’t want to regret the past and I don’t want to dwell on it. But the ‘long-lost-and-found’ chap’s confession gave me mixed feelings. I now know that he used to have feelings for me, that I wasn’t imagining things and that I wasn’t that off-putting to Malay guys. But I also feel robbed, denied, deprived and cheated of the opportunity to get to know him.

And hence I just couldn’t help thinking about the opportunity loss over the weekend.