A Different Kind Of Love

Today, I’m going to talk about Phileo Love, a different kind of love and yet just as important (to me) as other kinds of love. I need to let these special people in my life – and I don’t do it often enough if at all – that I love them; that I appreciate them, their friendship and their presence in my life; the cheer they bring to me; the help they extend; the favours I asked of them (and believe me, they are aplenty because I’m a hopeless and helpless gal!); and that I feel so blessed with their friendship and, in some cases, selflessness. They understand me and at times, treat me better than my siblings. You know who you are, yes, you, you and you.

And yes, I am guilty for not saying I love them because saying I Love You to your best mates, even if they are of the same sex feels a bit unusual, funny and weird – maybe because we don’t do it often enough? I must admit that I felt funny when I first received an email that ended with love from a good mate but have now felt free to express myself too.

I received a belated birthday card from my good mate last Monday. What’s the big deal, you may say. Well, it means a lot to me as it was posted in England and travelled all the way here to express my friend’s wish and thoughts when she do it easily via email or even Facebook. The sheer thoughtfulness, the effort and time taken to write it mean so much to me. And the card has this message:

Your friendship means a lot to me
because you’re always there
whether I need to ask your advice
get another opinion
or just blow off steam
You understand where I’m coming from
and you respect my opinion
even when it’s different from yours.
I know I can count on you
to listen without being judgemental
and to give me the kind of feedback
I need to sort things out.
You’re not afraid to ask questions
or express your real feelings
which helps me keep things in balance.
We've shared so much!

I like the way we can talk
about so many things
laugh about some, cry about others...
and I especially like the way it feels
to know I can count on you
as a real true friend!
- Ginnie Duncan -

OK, maybe it’s a marketing ploy to get people to buy cards, to make this particular one stand out but seriously, how often do you spend time at the card section looking for that card that will just be right for the occasion and recipient? I myself spend a long time picking out cards because when I do it, I do it with care, love, effort and thought.

Anyway back to this card and its sender: my eyes swelled when I read the message. Because it describes everything I feel about her too. We can argue about anything and yet respect each other’s opinion (agree to disagree). I can tell her a lot of things and she can do the same to me too. We don’t necessarily share the same taste in travel destination and free time activities but we can compromise and come to a mutual understanding. And after reading the card, I said a silent prayer to God for giving me this wonderful person as a friend. We were never close when we were at school but I’m glad that our paths crossed again after college.

My good travel buddy, Lin, you don’t open up to me that much but I know I can tell you about anything and yet not shock you. I think you know me for too long to know that you should be prepared for whatever I say and think. And thank you for being patient with my ditsiness and, err, my temper too.

C and N.Burn, you’ve known me for so long now, ever since we were that bright-eyed twelve-year olds stepping into Canna for the first time. Though distance kept us apart for a while, we stayed in touch (a few hundreds or thousands of km shouldn’t get in the way of friendship!). I know I ask for your sound advices all the time (and will continue to do so!) and I really appreciate your taking the time.

And Peach, you’re just so wise and patient and optimistic with me. You always have the time to hear me out and console me. Elle, I know you’re under a lot of stress now readjusting back to life as you knew it and so we haven’t been spending time together yet. But thank you for your advices, words of wisdom and for nudging me to remember putting myself in another person’s shoes. You both are so much wiser than me most of the time.

To all my good mates, I love you lots girlfriends!

* Phileo is the Greek name for love that describes friendship and the bonds that are strengthened by shared experiences. Eros is the Greek name for love that is sensual and stimulates the senses (i.e. love for lover, spouse, life partner) while Agape is the Greek name for the pure form of love that is unconditional and may be expressed in the filial or familial sense (i.e. love for our families especially our children).

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Hamilton triumphed at Hockenheim, proving he doesn’t just reign in the rain!

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Aren’t they just cute and adorable?