I had the opportunity to meet up my mate recently – our respective schedules had not permitted us to meet earlier – and as usual, we caught up with each other. Then we got to talking – not meaningless gossiping, not speculating, not just sharing sensational news but really talking about real issues we face in life. We’ve had chats like this before and there is an unspoken agreement that we would keep our conversations in confidence.
I find it refreshing and enlightening to be able to talk, listen and bounce off opinions and views with each other. It doesn’t matter if one party has never experienced or been in the situation the other was in: what matters is the sharing and unburdening of oneself in the secure knowledge that the one party would not condemn or judge the other, hold the other ransom with the confided information, nor listen with prejudice and grudge.
And through the course of recent conversations, we realised that we had helped make each other realise something about our parents. We both realised that our parents still care very much about us even though we are all grown up. That they still want to be a part of our lives even though we may feel that we have our own lives to live and want to live our lives the way we want to. As parents, they still feel responsible and want to continue playing their roles as parents and want us to continue playing our roles as their children, even if we are no longer children and some of us may even have children of our own already. And if they offer their opinion, or seem to interfere in our affairs, it’s because they have us in their best interests and because they still feel, or want to feel, that their opinions still count and matter.
Our parents are growing old and I guess even at their age and with their vast experience, they feel a bit insecure (as are we, or at least I am) and still want to feel wanted and needed, to feel important, to feel that they still matter, to feel they still have a place and still play a part in our lives. And the sad thing is that we may not see it that way, we may not appreciate their approach and may even interpret their well-intended actions and intention as interfering. But they must also be lonely in their old age and miss being the source of reference, miss being asked for advices and so they miss their children who not only have grown older but have also grown apart. That’s why I think old people are grumpy and grouchy – because they long to talk to someone and they long for someone to listen to them. In short, they long for company.
I’m glad that we both realised this about our parents now, before it’s too late, before they are gone and before we continue to have the wrong perception of them. One fine day, we will be in their shoes and will likely act the way they do now. So I thank God that I still have my parents’ attention, love and care. Yes, they are overprotective and overbearing at times, but they have well intentions and they’re only showing their love and care to me in the best way they know how.
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My mate also mentioned keeping himself fit of late. Inspired by this and by how agile and fit and healthy sportspeople look (think of football and tennis players who run a lot), I dragged myself out of bed yesterday morning for my morning walk. It has been a while since my last walk and this time I was prepared with a pedometer that F gave me. And guess what: I walked a total of 5.05 kilometres or 6323 steps yesterday! Add this to my trek in and out of malls on Saturday (yes, walking in malls is also a good way to keep fit and no, I’m not kidding), I figure I must have walked at least ten kilometres over the weekend. Which is all very good and fit in with one of my new Hijrah year resolutions: to be fit as Fàbregas!
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Arsenal ended Newcastle’s FA Cup dream on Saturday, thanks to a brace from Adebayor and an own goal butted in by Nicky Butt (I actually felt sorry for him; no one would like to be in such a situation). We’ll meet Kevin Keegan’s men again on Tuesday.
Mats the way to do it
3 hours ago
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