What Lies Beneath

I was about to sit down for breakfast last Wednesday when I felt a pain on my navel like a bite. It was painful that I bent over and cried out, Ouch!! I didn’t think more of it since - until Thursday afternoon when I felt a sudden intense pain around my belly button area (yes, of all places).

When I got home, I was surprised and alarmed to see a ‘growth’ in my navel which I’d never seen before (I don’t think I neglected care or disregarded hygiene in that area, I mean, sure I don’t normally pay much attention to that area but still it doesn’t explain the sudden metamorphosis of, say, a previously unnoticed scab or accumulated dead skin cells into a disgustingly-and-alarmingly-mole-sized thing. I tried to poke it out with a cotton bud and quickly determined that it was indeed the source of the pain.

On Friday, I summoned up my courage to visit the doctor (did I ever mention I’m a coward? That I have a very low pain tolerance level?). She looked at it and gave me some anti-biotics and piles to reduce any swelling. That evening, when I checked, the alien thing had gone. Dropped off somehow somewhere sometime.

If I thought that was the end of the problem and pain, boy, was I wrong. I was still hurting on Saturday and it didn’t help that I watched Black Swan and 127 Hours that day. When Nina developed those feathers, I couldn’t help thinking something developing in me, namely in my navel. I had by then suspected that something had invaded me, perhaps those leeches I picked up last weekend at the waterfall. And when I watched 127 Hours - I mean, when I didn't have my eyes covered - and saw the struggles of Aron when he was trapped and his pain, well, I could so feel his pain because I was in pain. So much pain that I had to walk at an odd angle.

Audrey suggested taking some pain-killers and while normally I don't like to take anything orally, the pain was such that I’d try anything. I woke up on Sunday still feeling the pain (which Arsenal’s draw after the high five performance in mid-week didn’t help alleviate of course) and finally I couldn’t stand it anymore and asked Abah to come pick me up and send me to the hospital.

The doctor couldn’t at first determine what was wrong either. The pain was such that I could no longer tell whether it was external or internal but she patiently probed my tummy. And while earlier it did seem that the pain had spread, her probes helped to establish that the source of the pain was the navel. The area of pain was around the navel, not around it. She told me she’d give me some pills to ease the pain but I asked for some cream instead. I was waiting to be dispensed with my medicine when I was called back in. Puzzled, I went in only when the matron came out and called my name. The doctor said she just remembered that it could be a bug/flea that entered my body via navel. What? Bug? A bug could cause that much PAIN and grief?? She also suggested I try ‘flushing’ or drawing out the bug with some oil, olive oil or cooking oil would do. God only knows where that bug came from and how it found me. I just pray it would be out of my body pronto. Hello, I’m not your host. I’ve been your reluctant host for the past few days and you gave me so much pain. But all the same, I’m relieved it’s not a more serious health issue like gastritis, appendix, the dreaded c-word, tummy ulcer or whatever.

So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, be careful of what lies beneath and what lurks beneath. Your body could be host to some alien, just as mine is.

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The other flying Dutchman scored a hat trick against ManUre and van de Sasar last night. Hahaha! So now ManUre have conceded MORE goals than Arsenal. And I thought people keep saying we have keeper issues. As for ManUre, Invincibles my foot, no, my belly button.