Adek's Circle of Friends

My best, closest and good mates are those friends I had the good fortune and luck to meet and befriend many, many years ago, when we embarked on one of our lives’ early journeys. Being away at boarding school when we’re in our early teens meant we only had each other to share our problems with. Of course problems then only consisted of academic-related problems, growing pains [including menstrual problems!] and the odd crush with some male teachers [not that there were that many male teachers and out of those few, even fewer who could qualify as eye candies!]. Having lived with and known each other 24/7 for five years meant we have a very special bond and there are many things that I share with and confide in my buddies that I don’t share with colleagues at work.

The truth is I have always told myself to be wary of colleagues at work. We are not close friends, more of strangers thrown together by work circumstances and having to work together in teams when we all come from so many different backgrounds. And besides, I have heard too many horror stories of backstabbers and a**kissers at workplace everywhere [and even know one or two of them] to really be comfortable with (some) work colleagues.

Even then, there are five categories of friends that I have from college [we call our boarding school that]:

One: Those who I have always been close to practically from day one of stepping into that dormitory of 30 girls as first formers, with whom I have kept close contact with throughout my university days, my various relationships and work crises, insecurities, confusion, frustrations, issues etc.

Two: Those who I hardly ever spoke to in college because we were in different houses or different classes but somehow got very close to after college days by virtue of sharing a room during A-Level and/or university or having our paths cross some time later in life.

The above two categories of friends are very rare gem of friends indeed. They provide me support, encouragement, advices [sometimes even when I don’t want them!] and criticisms, and are frank with me, telling me my faults and follies. I can totally depend on them.

Three: Those I used to be close to but sadly have drifted apart somehow, due to circumstances. We moved apart, grew up separately and never quite kept in touch. And when we meet, it’s just not the same somehow. Sad but true.

Four: Those who I’m not close to but can get along well with. And whenever we meet, it’s a pleasant and cordial meeting, but we don’t go sharing secrets with each other.

Five: Those I have never been close to and never will be. These are usually, but not necessarily, members of some clique groups who think themselves as superior over the rest, by virtue of their parents’ or families’ wealth or power or position. Individually, some of them can actually be quite nice and fall into the fourth category above.

Of course, there are those friends at work who I’m quite close to but even then, there are only a very select few who I can really trust and pour my heart to. Because I have learnt that not everyone cares about you, some just put up a pretence front [I discovered that when I got pick-pocketed many years ago]. And some get close to you only to learn about your secrets and use them against you.

Maybe that is why some colleagues call me a snob, for keeping to myself and confiding in my old mates, rather than in them. And it just so happens that some people do refer to our school as posh prep school and its products as snobs.

The truth is, one needs to have sufficiently gained my trust first before I can trust and confide in that person and tell my angsts, share my secrets, desires, deepest wishes, matters of the heart, happiest thoughts, life issues, family problems, health worries etc. And likewise, that person should be able to confide in me.

To all my best, close and good friends [in categories one and two above], I love you girlfriends! Thanks for everything!