Moving On

After weekends of transporting what little assets I have [mainly clothes, shoes, books, clothes, crockery, cutlery and more clothes], the day when the umbilical cord was cut off arrived. I couldn't help feeling somewhat sad when I changed in my room [which soon will no longer be exclusively mine, sob!] and left my parents' house, my home ever since I was born. Fought back tears along the journey.

Reached the place. Unpacked more stuff, rearranged my books in the bookcase, lined the drawers to fill more stuff...and started cleaning the house after [most] stuff had been stored away.

Then it was time for Abah & Mummy to leave. And the tears could no longer be kept in check. I cried, not the silent crying, but sobbing big drops of tears. Mummy cried too. I couldn't stop crying. I cried for a good half hour or more, til I got a headache [I always get a headache when I cry too much or too long]. Felt sad. Yes, this is what I asked for. I have to look after this place, it's been kept vacant for soooo long. So since I'm going to look after it now, I might as well stay here [instead of popping up every now and then to check it out, collect bills - yeah Syabas and Tenaga Nasional still bill unoccupied houses, clean it etc.]. And we don't want to rent it out cause we've had our fair share of tenants from hell.

But still... Living on your own is daunting and being on your own means you have to be independent etc. Scary stuff indeed, having to grow up and do things on my own. Not to be boastful, but to my credit, I have done and still do a lot of things on my own, if I may say so myself. Like learning how to drive - despite the objection from Abah & Mummy - and passing it much to the amusement and amazement of Akak. Said licence is now lying idle unused; filling up my own tax form on my own, doing part-time studying; travelling solo - including performing the Haj...

But still, there was always the comfort of knowing I will go home to my parents. Now I have to manage finances even more carefully - even if the balance for the past couple of months and the coming couple of months didn't and don't look promising. And I'm such a scaredy cat, such a coward, such a baby... [befitting my position as the baby of the family] that I feel I need to hold my parents' hands still.

Kept myself occupied for the rest of the day cleaning up the house. Tiring, exhausting, back-breaking work it was.

Read the surah al-Baqarah last night, took me 1.5 hours or so.

Didn't manage to install the table fan. Whatever instruction provided is in very atrocious English. Diagrams provided next to instruction is not at all helpful either. So, no fan in the room at the moment.

The water heater didn't work this morning.

I have not yet turned on the TV nor have I found the stations.

I have to stock up the fridge and larder with food. Fresh food, not the canned ones.

I miss home. I miss Abah. I miss Mummy. I even miss those silly cats. Sob!