Cool Kids

There’s a FB group ‘Nostalgia di SBP’ (or Nostalgia at Boarding School) and I read some of the posts out of curiosity (I’m hardly on FB as it is, I spend 15 minutes a day on it tops). A mate of mine had written some posts to the group too. The few posts I read made me think back of my life at boarding school.

I wasn’t a brilliant student, I found out very quickly that there were some seriously clever and brilliant girls in my class and within our batch. And I could’ve scored good marks but some subjects like Arabic, Art and Domestic Science were the bane of my lower secondary life (funnily enough, I scored an A1 in Domestic Science even though I did somehow manage to sleep during the trial exam until my friend woke me up because there was a correction to the question paper). I was never a sportsgirl and never an athlete (I could barely run to save my life, I just didn’t and still don’t have the stamina), in fact I didn’t enjoy any of the games or sport (I could cheer loudly though). I was never in any drama (be it English or Malay) competition (I have stage fright) or dancing competition either (I have two left feet). I wasn’t in either the band or cadet, wasn’t in the choir group. In short, I was just an average girl trying to fit in, at times in awe (but not envious) of other girls from more privileged background. My dad was approaching retirement and we didn’t have much to spend on branded goods then. So I was donning boring unfashionable clothes and I had a simple haircut. Then again, back then, in those days, not many things were fashionable anyway.

I was not any one of the cool kids. I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t in any clique (thank God!), I wasn’t at all cool. I never had any correspondent with a boy from another boarding school except for one very brief exchange of letters which I didn’t pursue. I was not a prefect. I did enjoy my lessons in upper secondary (I did have to bear with Arabic for another year though) and really loved Modern and Additional Maths subjects. I chose Social Science class as I was definitely not going to be in a pure Science class.

I broke some rules when I was in upper secondary. I was a latecomer many times and had to pay the fine when I was in Form 5 because I slept through the alarm and all the noise and racket around me (maybe someone did try to wake me up but I slept too deeply and soundly through it all). I skipped some physical education classes and hid in the drama props room with some mates. I forged Mummy’s signature so that I could join others and follow my friend back to her aunt’s place. So I wasn’t exactly an angel but apart from PE, I never skipped any other class (even Arabic).

I had fun at boarding school; I didn’t dread either going back home or returning to school after school holidays ended. I had friends, I enjoyed my classes especially in upper secondary. I was neither a goodie, nor was I a baddie.

Like I said, I wasn’t one of the cool kids then but I still fit in somehow. And anyway, people shouldn’t be too fixated about wanting to fit in (or trying to at least for some people). We may not know it when we were adolescents but I should hope we’re all comfortable and secure in our skin by now. And in our own way, we’re actually cool now precisely because we develop self-confidence, gain life experience and overcome life challenges as we grow.

500+ Days of Sameness

 

In case you’re wondering, it has been 523 days today since 18 March 2020 when the movement control order was imposed. It has been a long boring ride with nowhere in sight and seemingly no light at the end of it. You’re forgiven for losing track of time/day/week/month. It’s the same thing every day: wear a mask when you’re out and about, wash or sanitise your hands, observe distancing, travel restriction, and at the same time having to bear the ridiculousness of the Malaysian politics and different standards.

 

August hasn’t been an august month after all what with the political drama, escalating Covid cases, police intimidation and brutality, and poor Arsenal pre-season and opening two matches. Ugh!

 

I had my second dose of vaccination on Friday the 13^th and was happy to take it easy the following day. I had a mild headache which could be due to many factors: I didn’t manage to eat much before my vaccination; it was a hot, hot Friday the 13^th; the vaccine itself; or what I thought was PMS. I felt sufficiently better on Sunday to go for a 5.1km walk. I set off with two plastic bags and picked up rubbish along the highway. It’s disgusting how irresponsible and thoughtless Malaysians are when it comes to disposing their rubbish. Rubbish to the core!

 

Anyway, alhamdulillah, everyone in my close family (that’s me and dad, and my sister and her family) has been vaccinated. Munchkin nephew finally got his first dose by walk-in at Movenpick Hotel in Sepang (yesterday was the last day the vaccine centre operated at Movenpick before it moves to Multimedia University). Turned out that nephew was afraid of being jabbed. He had earlier got an appointment for AstraZeneca at PWTC (which he didn’t apply for) but he was having his exam then and had to decline it. And somehow MySejahtera never updated and rescheduled his appointment.

 

It’s hard to see when this nightmare will end when the Delta variant is spreading so quickly. Let’s hope it won’t take another 500 days before we’re rid of this menace!

It's A Struggle

A lot of people find it a struggle trying to survive these days.

Some people lost hope and decided to end their lives.

Some have to resort to begging, while others to stealing. Previously, shoplifters and thieves stole high-value items but now people shoplift fish, vegetables, and bread to name a few.

Some struggle with office work, housework and caring for their children, spouse or elderly parents.

Some struggle to stay sane.

Some struggle to survive staying locked up at home with an abuser.

Some struggle to learn, gain knowledge or educate themselves either due to lack of devices or poor network coverage.

Some have to go to work and expose themselves to risk of contracting Covid.

Some are burnt out and overworked.

Hospitals are full and operating beyond capacity. The doctors and nurses have to choose who to save first.

And yet, and yet.

We still have world class idiots in power.

51 weeks ago, my family and I were lucky enough to be able to go to Port Dickson (not even Paris!) and 51 weeks later, we’re stuck in limbo.

It’s a struggle trying to be optimistic in the face of all these and the never-ending lockdown with the end nowhere in sight. Ya Allah, please have mercy on us and help us remove all these incompetent Covidiots from office, ameen.

~~~~~~~

I was surprised but happy when I saw on IG last Friday that Isetan had reopened its stores (not just the Foodmarket). I headed to Isetan KLCC during lunch on the same day and happily browsed the deserted store (I was the only customer at the first floor). There were fewer sales assistants as some stay in lockdown areas and were unable to travel to work. I got to chatting with the friendly Floor Manager and she told me they were happy to reopen the stores as they missed meeting and interacting with customers too. She also said that even her elderly mother also felt it stifling to stay home all the time. We are only humans, we crave and starve for human contact and interaction. I told her this is the best time to shop for anything as the shopping malls are empty. Alas, on Saturday evening, I saw the IG story that the other Isetan departments have been temporarily closed again. Sigh. That sure didn’t last long. I guess browsing at groceries will be the extent of my retail therapy for now.

I Wanna Be Vaccinated

After a vaccine Hunger Games process which I mentioned in my last post (I am so thankful to Allah for being able to secure a slot within three minutes after the site opened to those below 60 on 26 May 2021. But many of my friends and colleagues didn’t manage to secure a slot for themselves so much so we likened the experience to Hunger Games - somewhat akin to the Vaccine Hunger Games recently experienced in Ontario) and a fairly smooth process for dad, we had our first dose of vaccination of Astra Zeneca and Pfizer on 11 and 14 June respectively (dad’s appointment was rescheduled from 4 June). Syukur Alhamdulillah.

 

I think what really spurred me into action (besides the high number of cases in the Klang Valley and somehow being tested positive for Covid) was the fear of being quarantined at the centre and the thought of not having family members with me in my last hours and to perform the last rites if anything untoward happens. If you’re quarantined at the centre, there’s no privacy, lights are switched on until 02:00 or 03:00, it’s noisy, there’s long queue to use the facilities, it’s cold and there’s no hot shower. It’s not unlike being in a penitentiary and while a somewhat similar experience may be fine when one was at a boarding school while one was a teenager, I don’t think I could stand that now at all. The last time I slept in a cramped area with dozens of other strangers was in Mina when I performed Haj and even that was a fair number of years ago. And this was how I persuaded (or rather forced) my dad to agree to the vaccination process too. Look, not to be snobbish but if I think I’ll find it tough at the quarantine centre, I don’t know how dad will manage. He who even perform ablutions with hot water. So if I have to be cruel to be kind, then so be it.

 

A heartfelt thank you to all the volunteers, nurses and doctors, RELA officers and the police who helped made the whole process very smooth. Well done!!!

 

Apart from a sudden pain that made me felt like someone had just poked another needle into my left arm at the observation area, Alhamdulillah, I only had a mild headache and pain in the arm for this first dose. I did pray for little or zero side effects before I had my vaccination. I downplayed what little pain I experienced as I didn’t want to scare off dad from getting his altogether. He admitted after his vaccination that he was afraid and apprehensive at first, in fact he was even praying that if Allah thought if best for him to avoid it altogether, then he would not object. He was telling all the doctors there of his many health challenges and after a while, I looked at the doctor and said, if anything he should be among the first to be vaccinated - because he’s in the high risk category. Dad’s next dose will be on 5 July 2021, InsyaAllah. I’m praying that my second dose will be as mild as my first, ameen.

 

Stay safe, stay healthy and stay well, everyone. And do register and get yourselves vaccinated if you haven’t already. If you have registered, don’t worry too much and have faith that Allah is the best planner.

Tubthumping

 

We’ll get locked down, but we’ll get up again

You are never gonna keep us down

We’ll get locked down, but we’ll get up again

You are never gonna keep us down

 

Screw you, COVID-10, all the incompetent politicians and all those stubborn Covidiots who still went back to their hometown for Eid and helped make the situation worse than it ever was. Screw the application process for the vaccination which made feel like I was going to war, frantically trying to secure a slot for myself. Alhamdulillah, I managed to do that within minutes but many of my colleagues didn’t manage to. A mate likened it to Hunger Games (I didn’t watch the movie but a colleague forced the trilogy on me and telling myself to keep an open mind, I read them all).

 

Stay safe, stay well, stay healthy and stay sane, everyone. Oh, and stay home too. Good luck to us all with our respective issues and challenges. May Allah ease our affairs, amen. And may Allah punish those useless politicians who couldn’t make up their mind on the best course of action for the country and its people, and those Covidiots for leaving death in their wake.

Ramadan Rant

 

Well, it goes without saying that Ramadan and Eid this year is different than the usual and as much as we’re to adopt the new normal, I sure hope it won’t be that for future Ramadans and Eids. And all because of the incompetence and sheer cluelessness of those in power. So they declared political emergency to curb the spread of the pandemic and we’re in May and the pandemic is spiking! Serious FAILURE. And it all started from the politician who thought he had enough votes to win back Sabah and then the whole circus of Sabah election took place and next thing we knew, the numbers increased by leaps and bounds.

 

Of course, Selangor is the next state to fall victim and is still the state with the highest daily numbers (you’d expect that for the most populous state in the country which has the highest number of industries and the corresponding foreign workers). And now we have the Indian and South African variants amongst our midst, so kudos! Well done, Malaysia. From a so-called success story, we have fallen so low. We are probably the only country with variants of MCO and the ever-changing confusing SOP.

 

And in other news, we have a teenager who dared speak out on inappropriate rape jokes made by a teacher and it’s not just students, female teachers also face sexual harassment too from our male Malaysian teachers. Is nothing sacred anymore? Can’t a child go to school without worrying that she’d be exposed to kind of disgusting diabolical behaviour by her teacher? And instead of being able to feel safe, the school is threatening to expel her from her absence from school while at the same time not taking any action towards the scum and the child’s classmate who also threaten to rape her. What in the world is Malaysia coming to??? And the ignorant clueless Minister is deathly silent on this so far. It’s enough to make your head spin. 2021 and we still have to live in fear of the beasts around us.

 

And the violence that is happening in Jerusalem...it breaks my heart. Is any of the Arab countries doing anything at all to help our brothers and sisters there?

 

No, it is definitely not a normal Ramadan. Please spare some thoughts and prayers to all those oppressed in Palestine, Syria, Myanmar and Yemen and those caught in civil wars in other countries.

 

For what it’s worth, Eid Mubarak everyone.

Ups And Downs

 

We all have ups and downs in our lives on an ongoing basis. Some of us choose to view life positively and have an attitude of gratitude while some can’t stop moaning about the cards they’re dealt in life. While it’s better to be in the company of someone who refuses to let life trials to bring him down and it’s tiring and exhausting to listen to someone who can’t stop complaining about not being given enough break in life, life is not a bed of roses either and s**t happens. So why aren’t we giving enough due to the fact that we can’t be happy all the time? As Sarah Steckler mentions here, true happiness isn’t the act of choosing to be happy, it’s the art and allowance of accepting human emotions, observing them and being okay with them being a part of our lives.

 

Susan David mentions the tyranny of positivity. We’re encouraged to feel bad about being negative. But why? Why should we be denied from acknowledging that not everything goes the way we plan and want? Why should we deny ourselves from being comfortable and from dealing with the full range of our emotions?

 

It’s time we recognise we should acknowledge and deal with our feelings and emotions. If life sucks, we should all write an Ingratitude List. We should stop trying to pretend we’re not in pain when we are. Count our blessings of course and at the same time acknowledge that ignoring our anger and sadness with gratitude lists doesn’t make them disappear. If anything, an ingratitude list gives direction, focus and helps one move away from shame towards acceptance and action.