ALANS*

* Almost Like A New Season/Song/Signing. In case you don’t already know, the Professor likes to say this whenever someone comes back from a long injury

Arsenal hosted Swansea on Saturday after a couple of defeats. Arteta and Mertesacker made their debut for Arsenal and Benayoun came on in the second half. I don’t know why the lads looked at times hesitant in front of goal. Shava curled in the ball following a howler from the Swansea goalie from an acute angle and it was not an easy finish by any means so credit to the Russian meerkat for that. We survived a second-half Swansea onslaught but managed to stay alive. It’s early days but the Koscielny-PerMer partnership is already looking promising. And yes, it’s almost like a new season.

As you probably already know, the Useless Effing Farcical Assholes has imposed a further two-match ban on Wenger – effectively banning him for three matches for something he did like seven months ago. The match wasn’t shown live so I didn’t set my alarm. Anyway, I needn’t have to for I found myself awake at a quarter past 3. Found out we were leading by a goal against the tide and dozed off again. I was prepared for a draw and while that was exactly what we got no thanks to an 88th minute goal by the host, I can’t help feeling gutted. Had we not conceded the free-kick, we could have won. And that would be enough to silence the critics. Read that Song was immense and Koscielny too. If Song behaves himself, he’ll be a darn good player for us. Almost like a new Song? Let’s hope he stays that way.

Signal Iduna Park coordinates: Seat 63 Row 24 Block 27

I am slightly worried though that we have not been able to slot in as many goals as before. One opportunistic goal on Saturday and one on Tuesday night... unlike the two Manc clubs who are scoring for fun. Sickening. (But guess what, both Manc clubs drew 1-1 in their Champions League matches too. Wonder what the media will say to this. Perhaps that the two Manc clubs were unlucky not to get all three points but Arsenal were lucky to even come away with a point. That won’t surprise me one bit).

And Lansbury has signed a new contract extension with Arsenal. Yes, it’s Almost Like A New Signing. Heh.