Friday, November 24, 2006

Me the Snob... NOT!

There are times when I wonder if people truly think I am a snob. See, I have had people actually telling me I look stuck-up and snobbish, right to my face!

Because I don’t listen to local songs or follow the local entertainment scene or watch the local movie/drama. And I neither watch local reality programmes nor dig what they are all about. I don’t read local entertainment magazines [used to buy the British mag Smash Hits but that had stopped – thankfully] ‘cause like I said earlier, I don’t keep track so why should I start ‘investing’ in those mags anyway? I subscribe to the National Geographic magazine – member since 1997 – because I love the authors’ style and flair for writing; the beautifully scripted articles that describe everything in vivid details; the wonderful pictures that have me marvelling at the photographers’ patience and endurance in capturing those shots; the new world opened to me with each issue... so many places to discover and learn, so many cultures to understand, and so many species of the animal kingdom to appreciate [my only grouse is the dinosaur stories and Mars and Darwin’s theory but I guess that’s ‘cause I’m Just A Girl who doesn’t appreciate these stuff]. Surely reading educational, informational magazines instead of silly entertainment magazines does not make one a snob.

Because I do clothes Shopping only at Isetan now. ‘Cause I can’t be bothered with other stores anymore. I don’t dig other stores’ clothes and, yes, while I did use to patronise certain other stores, I no longer care to check them out. Maybe I have Finally embraced the convenience of Shopping for things all under one roof [well, except for groceries, toiletries, vitamins and food supplements, and books, where I still go from one store to another]. Or maybe I’ve advanced a bit in years and no longer go Crazy at the sight of advertisements screaming ‘SALE!’ by all the other stores in the city [did I tell you that I’m the reference point for sales update for my friends?]. Or maybe I’ve grown lazier over the years. I do know that I’m familiar and comfortable with Isetan layout. So surely I’m not just a snob in that department [pun intended]! So here’s free marketing for Isetan from a member [I’ve been a member since 1990 when the Isetan first opened its doors to KLites; aye was already a shopaholic despite being on a miserable student stipend!].

Because I suspect some people have not been easy to pass judgement on me especially after learning that I am a product of a ‘posh prep school’ [well, that’s how people refer to it]. I don’t think we are snobbish at all although granted we do tend to be all excited when we meet up/bump into each other, inevitably ignoring other people [who cares].

Because I normally speak in English – not that my English’s all that good but because I feel comfortable conversing in English [thanks to my BBGS primary schooling and ‘posh prep’ secondary schooling]. And because I don’t want to understand local dialects [at boarding school we didn’t speak any dialects] and will look Lost when people start talking in various dialects to me [like when I had to stop for directions somewhere in the heart of a neighbouring state and the men at the coffee stall who helped me with directions spoke in such thick Nogori dialect that I felt can't they make me even more Lost]. Is it possible to look snobbishly Lost?

Because I don’t like to eat rice on a daily basis for lunch [but I do eat noodles] and since I’m rarely sighted having rice, I get teased when I do make myself eat it. ‘Eh, I thought Mat Saleh don’t eat rice?’, ‘Hey, you’re Mat Saleh, can you stand this spicy stuff?’ [actually no, I can’t stand spicy stuff!]; ‘I didn’t know you eat local food,’ and on and on. Only a couple of days ago, my mates invited me to join them for lunch at a stall/restaurant [it’s more of an expanded stall but not quite a restaurant] selling mainly food from an East Coast state. I felt like an outsider, looking suspiciously at the food chosen by my mates and couldn’t help asking questions like ‘What’s this?', 'How do you eat this?', 'Aren’t there any forks and spoons? Oh, do we have to eat using our hands?’. Don’t get me wrong: I will eat with my hand only at home [Sometimes]; it’s just that I wasn’t keen to return to The Office with my hand smelling of lunch. To save them from further potential future embarrassment, I told them they don’t have to invite me along to the establishment in the future. Though I think they might, ‘cause they are nice people and also ‘cause they probably enjoy my discomfiture [what an oxymoronic sentence!].

Because I have these automatic pilot responses to local places outside the big, beautiful city of KL: ‘Oooh, where’s that?’, ‘Whoa, that’s far!’. Look, my definition of far is anything not within 15 km radius of KLCC or parents’ house. So to me, Subang Jaya is far, Shah Alam is further, and Serdang is even further. Plus I don’t drive so of course these places seem even further to me because of the different modes of transportation I have to take should I need to go to these places [Sure, taking a cab is more straightforward and easier, but my parents don’t trust me to take cabs alone because hey, anything can happen there. Where else in the world can a girl be raped but on a bus and later murdered? Where else can a girl be murdered and later have her remains detonated?]. I shall not apologise for being born and bred in KL but I suppose people who don’t know me any better will immediately dismiss me as a snob because of my responses.

And yes, I always indulge myself from time to time. ‘Cause I deserve to. Everyone does. If you’re comfortable with yourself, with the money you earn/make, then by all means, spoil yourself to life’s little luxury now and then. Treat yourself occasionally. You deserve to. As Shakespeare put it, ‘Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.’ There’s no point in slogging yourself only to die at the premature age of 47 and have other people enjoy your hard-earned money. What’s the point of living? Yes, as a Muslim, I must make rational judgement and be able to divide time, effort and energy between this world and the hereafter. So what’s the point of making money only to have others enjoy the fruits of your labour? Of course, I’m single and hence no compulsion to set aside much money for my beneficiaries. So indulging oneself is definitely not being snobbish! And if I say I don’t buy fakes [my exception is fake footie jerseys], I’m not being snobbish, it’s just that Ain’t Nothing Like The Real Thing, baby, I can afford it.



Because I’m s
ingle [maybe I should buy that new fragrance by YSL ‘Young Sexy Lovely’ - they really shouldve named it Young Single Lovely instead], people have been quick to dismiss me as choosy, having high standards etc. And what is wrong with that, I wonder? Even if you want to make a purchase, you’d spend time picking and choosing before Finally being satisfied and paying for it, so what more with a life partner! None locally here. I don’t think you should lower or compromise your standards just so that you could stop people’s tongues from wagging. Do they even stop to think that I may be having my own issues and problems - my insecurities, doubt, worries, lusts, angst that keep me awake at night that I have to settle first? That Sometimes I wonder if I love good enough or will ever get good enough love. I wonder if I’m doomed to be Failure To Launch for life. I wonder what it is that I want that other girls are gifted with, or what is it about men that is so off-putting. I know when I reply people’s questions [why I’m not married, where my husband is, how come I’m still not married], whether these thoughts cross their minds: ‘Gosh, she’s still not married?’, ‘Pity her’, ‘She must be choosy’, ‘Hmm, maybe she’s a lesbian [maybe]’, ‘What kind of person does she want? Prince Charming?’, or worse still, ‘Gosh, no wonder she’s not married. No one she wants because ... ‘. [And then the less sensitive ones would proceed to give me free lecture on why I should not be choosy straight...]. Do they know that all I want/need/pray for is another chance to make love?

No, I am not a snob. I am just so Misunderstood.