An Email to My Friend

Salam

Dearest Friend

Thanks for your thoughtfulness and help and thinking of me. I know you have the best intentions and always thinking of the best for your friends.

I have to admit that am myself a rather shy person - yes, I somehow manage to camouflage that with a girl-about-city approach to life. No, I'm not being pretentious but I do know some people actually think I'm a more social person that I actually am. If only they know the truth! And I can't really be bothered with correcting their misperception - let them think what they like 'cause really, people will still develop their own opinion abt you no matter what and if I try to correct their misperception, I may end up with a bigger mess. I can't even chat up a total stranger, let alone flirt! I have somehow managed not to master all these 'skills' that some girls are so gifted at. You know, the 1st time someone introduced me to H oh-so-many-years ago, I just gave him a brief nod and smile and tried to walk off 'cause I wasn't sure what to say. Now, that probably does sound and look a bit rude to any onlooker and the introducer actually called me back so I turned back to H and attempted some conversation. I tell you, I found it awkward. But I know most people would just dismiss it as another example of me being aloof, unapproachable and sombong/stuck-up. Yes, I have a few people telling me that I have a sombong face, but maybe I'm not that sombong after all if people can say that to my face!!! And being a bit blur and sometimes in a world of my own [present self is somewhere but my mind is miles away] don't help either 'cause these sometimes make me oblivious to other people; I've been known to share lifts with people and only realising someone I know is in that lift after we've reached ground floor! Yet another example that would make an onlooker quickly label me as sombong. Maybe that's why people don't really approach me - 'cause I don't look approachable, aloof and yes, sombong!

Having said all that, I have decided that I will not squander any opportunity directed my way to make new friends. And I will gratefully and graciously accept any help rendered to me. I've gone on one chaperoned blind date before, and that obviously didn't turn out well 'cause I was more comfortable chatting my friend's married-and-unavailable cousins than the unmarried-and-available guy [needless to say, there wasn't a repeat of that outing].

I just want to make new friends and it's ok if it's platonic. Heck, I'm in strictly platonic relationships with a few people and I'm really comfortable with that at the moment.

And you know, I don't think I'm anywhere remotely close to Aisyah [wife of Prophet Muhammad SAW] and I'd hate to think that he'll feel cheated when - and if - he discovers I'm hardly that... And I can understand how he feels at this stage of his relationship with that girl - for I had been in a relationship with another guy of a different faith too and it was all I could do to try make him see that Islam is the answer if not me but sadly I wasn't successful and neither our relationship - and I also would not want to be the girl for anyone on the rebound.

Love, Adek

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Hmmm, it just struck me as I was typing the email that the probable reason why people don't approach me is because I look unapproachable, aloof and stuck-up... I suppose it's only human nature to jump to assumptions, draw conclusions and judge a book by its cover?