As the month of March pays tribute to women with International Women’s Day and Mother’s Day (some countries celebrate the latter in March; a lot of countries in the Middle East celebrate it today), today I shall pay a short tribute to one of the strongest women in my life: Mummy. To me, Mummy is was a strong woman (it’s still hard for me, after all this time, to refer to her in the past tense). I’m not sure if Mummy knew her parents at all. She was adopted, along with three other girls, by a single teacher who was held in very high esteem by the society. She may not have the benefit of high education but Mummy was a smart woman. She wasn’t at all stupid; in fact, she used to set us Maths questions for us to do. She also had the unenviable task of managing the household with the challenge of juggling the household budget while taking care of the family. This was in the 1970s when times were hard and dad was the sole bread winner with siblings who occasionally expected him to hand out money all because he worked and lived in KL (I don’t know why people couldn’t understand that living in the city is actually not easy with its higher cost of living).
Mummy had to deal with five instant stepchildren and, shortly after, her own two young daughters and for that, she needed mental strength and great courage. She had lived a sheltered life with her foster sister along with her other adopted sisters and to suddenly uproot herself from all that was familiar and moved across states to live in KL shortly after finally agreeing to marry dad must have been daunting. Still, she took it in her stride for what other choice did she have? I sensed that she must have wished she had had access, means and opportunity to higher education because she always told me that it was OK for me to stay single and not get married and that had she been in my shoes with a job and earning her own money, she would have chosen to stay single.
And she’s right, of course. Women don’t need men these days financially. OK, I know there are some women who prefer to be taken care of, who don’t care if they have to be kept women as long as their material needs are fulfilled but I’m referring here to women who have their own jobs. We are strong enough to be independent and take care of ourselves. But of course, we crave and long for love which we think - rightly or wrongly – men can provide if they’re bothered. But most men these days are self-centred oafs with big egos who think it’s fine to take women for granted and walk all over them. They don’t care that women want to be cared for and loved and hugged and be given the occasional surprise because like it or not, women are emotional and regardless of how strong they are, they still want love deep down. We may be modern and strong but we still want to be loved, cared, protected and surprised and wanting all that does not mean we are being weak. After all, it’s only natural to want all that!
I’m definitely not the first single girl in this world and I won’t be the last. I may not be strong physically but I am mentally and spiritually strong. I can travel on my own and in fact value my own me time, my freedom and my opportunity to be closer to Allah. I am strong enough. If I’m destined not to have jodoh and it is better for me, my religion, my life in this world and the Hereafter, then so be it. Allah will help me, protect me, care for me and love me, which is so much better than all the love of all the men in this world put together. He will not disappoint me, He won’t lie to me, He won’t deceive me, He won’t hurt me and He will listen.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be as strong as Mummy who uprooted herself, married a widower with five kids and lived through the hard early years of marriage. But hey Mummy did it, didn’t she. So I can be strong too with Allah by my side. InsyaAllah and amen.
Mummy had to deal with five instant stepchildren and, shortly after, her own two young daughters and for that, she needed mental strength and great courage. She had lived a sheltered life with her foster sister along with her other adopted sisters and to suddenly uproot herself from all that was familiar and moved across states to live in KL shortly after finally agreeing to marry dad must have been daunting. Still, she took it in her stride for what other choice did she have? I sensed that she must have wished she had had access, means and opportunity to higher education because she always told me that it was OK for me to stay single and not get married and that had she been in my shoes with a job and earning her own money, she would have chosen to stay single.
And she’s right, of course. Women don’t need men these days financially. OK, I know there are some women who prefer to be taken care of, who don’t care if they have to be kept women as long as their material needs are fulfilled but I’m referring here to women who have their own jobs. We are strong enough to be independent and take care of ourselves. But of course, we crave and long for love which we think - rightly or wrongly – men can provide if they’re bothered. But most men these days are self-centred oafs with big egos who think it’s fine to take women for granted and walk all over them. They don’t care that women want to be cared for and loved and hugged and be given the occasional surprise because like it or not, women are emotional and regardless of how strong they are, they still want love deep down. We may be modern and strong but we still want to be loved, cared, protected and surprised and wanting all that does not mean we are being weak. After all, it’s only natural to want all that!
I’m definitely not the first single girl in this world and I won’t be the last. I may not be strong physically but I am mentally and spiritually strong. I can travel on my own and in fact value my own me time, my freedom and my opportunity to be closer to Allah. I am strong enough. If I’m destined not to have jodoh and it is better for me, my religion, my life in this world and the Hereafter, then so be it. Allah will help me, protect me, care for me and love me, which is so much better than all the love of all the men in this world put together. He will not disappoint me, He won’t lie to me, He won’t deceive me, He won’t hurt me and He will listen.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be as strong as Mummy who uprooted herself, married a widower with five kids and lived through the hard early years of marriage. But hey Mummy did it, didn’t she. So I can be strong too with Allah by my side. InsyaAllah and amen.
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