South of the Border

I was considering buying a bag and but couldn’t decide if I liked the colour so after some thought, decided to go check the boutique in Singers and that last Saturday would be a good day to do that. Oh boy, oh boy. But once I had this idea, I couldn’t shake it off so I thought, heck, why not. I had taken FirstCoach to Singers a few times before but decided to explore other options as First Coach departs Bangsar at 07:30 (arrives 5-6 hours later) and the return trip departs at 18:30 (a day trip would suffice for me and I don’t mind not spending the night there) which would mean arriving at Bangsar well after midnight. Now, I don’t like travelling by Uber/Grab (or cabs for that matter) alone and especially am not going to do that after midnight.

So I went to Bus Online and Catch That Bus and started browsing. As I was browsing, I realised I could depart just before midnight on Friday and return by an afternoon bus so that I could reach KL before 22:00 and still take the public transportation back to micasa. I finally decided to travel by NiceCoach, a company under Konsortium Transnasional Berhad. The return ticket cost me RM120 (First Coach return ticket costs RM150). The coach from KL is called Nice Executive coach while the one from Singapore is Nice Imperial and is a double decker (for pictures, go here).

I left micasa late on Friday and was frantic and panicking until we reached KL Sentral. The Nice coach picks up passengers at the entrance to KLIA Express (near its ticket counters at KL Sentral) and it was punctual. A good sign, I thought. Before long, I was settled in my seat. The bus looked full. We left just after 23:30. Of course sleep was elusive. The driver drove at breakneck speed and we reached the Malaysian checkpoint before 03:00. The immigration process was a breeze and we were crossing over to Tuas Checkpoint before long. We had to take all luggage down here to clear immigration and security check.

A slightly blurry picture of the interior of the bus from my seat

We reached The Plaza at Beach Road at 04:35. Still too early, the MRT hadn’t started operations and Suboh was about an hour away so I decided to walk to Orchard Road. So I did. Singers is a safe country and I wasn’t worried (I wouldn’t dare walk in KL at that ungodly hour!). I was surprised to see a lot of vehicles on the road at that time though; they were probably those who hadn’t returned home from the evening before. I also came across some homeless people sleeping in doorways and even an old uncle taking a leak under a bright streetlight near the Singapore Management University. Up until ten days prior, I was not even aware that there are those living in destitution in Singers. As if to make the contrast, a turn of the head and I saw party revellers laughing out loud and people at a 24-hour mamak place. Oh well. I don’t know why I should be surprised. The ultra rich, the middle-income earners and the poor and destitute all rub shoulders in all major cities so why should Singers be an exception eh.

I reached Masjid Al Falah about 45 minutes after setting off from The Plaza. A lady who came out told me the women’s section which used to be on the upper level had been closed off for some time due to small congregation. Women would have to perform prayers downstairs and there’s no barrier to segregate between the male and female. We also needed a token to access the bathroom to perform ablutions and at this, I thanked her and told her I’d head for the prayer room at Royal Plaza on Scotts instead. It took me a further ten minutes’ walk.

The bathroom at the lobby was closed so I went to the gym/pool area, knowing there would be bathrooms there and I was right. After performing ablutions, I went to the prayer room and stayed until well past sunrise so I could perform Ishraq prayers.

After freshening up, I went back to the prayer room for Dhuha prayers before leaving. I crossed over to Far East Plaza, had some sandwich then continued on to ScottsSquare. There are a few posh boutiques here and I also discovered Fair Price which products I thought were priced pretty reasonable and fair – for Singaporean prices anyway (well, I don’t earn SGD). After that, I checked out Pedder on Scotts, specifically Charlotte Olympia. The range on offer was pretty limited though (but still better than nothing at all).

The black pair cost SGD720 while the blue and red pairs cost SGD790 or so

I then returned to Orchard Road and took the underpass to cross over to Ngee AnnCity. It was an overcast morning although I didn’t detect any dark angry clouds overhead. I decided to avail of the complimentary WiFi offered and sat down to access social media for a bit before checking out the boutiques. I was surprised to discover it was raining cats and dogs when I emerged from Goyard. And to think it had been such an unbearably sweltering week in KL! i continued on to Takashimaya before crossing over to Paragon and Lucky Plaza. It had stopped raining by then.

At Lucky Plaza, I went to find some halal eateries before browsing Bagzaar. I decided to return to Food Village at Ngee Ann City and had Nasi Padang. Rice and 3 side dishes (side dishes mean veggie dishes) cost SGD3.80. After lunch, I headed for Isetan Scotts. I also checked the Nasi Padang stall there. The same combo I had at Food Village at Ngee Ann City cost SGD5. Probably not much for you but I could buy a 1.5 litre bottle of water with change.

At Elisa Litz, a Charlotte Olympia Kitty Flats copycat

 Fortunately or unfortunately, the soles of their shoes are of pig skin

 These cost SGD89/pair

After Isetan, I returned to Royal Plaza on Scotts to perform prayers. Then it was a last visit to Ngee Ann City (and complimentary use of the WiFi heh). After that, I took the train to Bugis and walked to Zam Zam Restaurant. I bought a piece of beef murtabak to go before heading for The Plaza for my 16:00 coach back to KL.

I arrived at the Transnasional Office and made myself some tea. I was then called to board the bus – it was 15:45 then – so I hurried over to the awaiting coach. There were only nine passengers making the trip and as everyone was there, we could already depart. Whoa, great! I went to my seat on the upper deck then decided to change to a more comfortable seat. We hit a standstill at Tuas -well, it was the weekend and a lot of Singaporeans were crossing over to Johore – and the immigration process at the Malaysian side was chaotic. The passport autogates were not operating and we formed unorganised queues to clear immigration. We were finally on our way again within 30 minutes.

 Transnasional Office at The Plaza

 Our coach

 Lower deck

Upper deck

Crossing back Johor Strait towards Malaysia

We stopped at a rest area at 19:00 and I went down to use the bathroom and perform ablutions. The driver had informed the break was only 15 minutes so I performed prayers on board. We reached KL Sentral at 21:27 and I waited until 21:47 for the bus. I was en micasa by 22:10. Total distance walked today: 18.4 km, 28,179 steps.

I think there might be repeats of this trip.

Going Solo

I had the opportunity to listen to a talk by Anita Yusof, the first Muslim female/Asian to travel alone around the world on a Yamaha FZ150i. She shared the challenges she faced, the journey (of course), the experience, the ups and downs of her trip, and some pictures she took along the trip. But I especially understand and relate to what she said towards the end of her talk about being and feeling so close to Allah when she travelled alone. I feel that too on my trips. When I’m all alone in a strange land, I talk more to God. I pray, I lament, I glorify Him whenever I come upon beautiful sights, I talk to Him, I beg Him to help me catch the bus/train and that I’ve not missed it, I ask Him to help keep me and my family back home safe, well and healthy. This makes me feel closer to God. I only have Him and myself to rely on at all times. So yes, I do understand what Anita meant about being so much closer to Allah on our respective solo trips.

There are those who frown upon ladies, especially Muslim ladies, travelling alone. Yes, by right, this is not a done thing. But if I have to have and wait for a mahram to be available to accompany me on my trips, I may never be able to go on one. It’s like going to perform Haj: if I had to wait until I have a mahram or husband, then tell me what I should do if I’m not ever blessed with jodoh? Do I wait and wait until I have a mahram available to accompany me or do I not go in the end when Haj is an obligation on all Muslims who are able to make the journey? Alhamdulillah, I had my brother then who was going so I managed to go under the premise of him being my mahram, never mind that he departed from Johor Bahru, under muasassah and different flights and departure/arrival dates altogether. So at least I managed to perform Haj then (but Allah, I so badly want to go again because You know why). But what about other trips? Am I not allowed to embark on any trip then?

I believe Allah is Most Compassionate and Understanding and that He understands my need for travel. It’s not that I embark on trips for the wrong reasons. I don’t take hedonistic debauched trips. I still observe my dietary requirements strictly and I don’t miss any prayers because I’m a Muslim wherever I am, not just in Kuala Lumpur. This is important to me because I see a lot of plastic Muslims who drink and generally behave in ways not exemplary of Muslims the instant they’re away (oh but you’re not supposed to say anything and just mind your own business because who cares about your faith – Muslims should forbid evil with his hands (action), tongue (words) or his heart and the last is the weakest of faith).

Anyway, back to travelling solo. I feel free, liberated, happy and at peace when I travel alone. It’s an almost religious experience when I take in new surroundings unfiltered and without the influence of others’ prejudices, tastes or preferences. Going solo provides me the opportunity to know myself better and indulge myself fully. I can go at my own pace and not have to slow down or sigh while waiting for others or enduring others’ impatience when I’m slow. Any mistakes I make are my own, I have no one else to blame them, so it makes me accountable and my triumphs all the more enjoyable. Indeed, there are so many benefits to travelling solo that I don’t know why more girls don’t do it. I do join tours now and when I do, I prefer joining one where I don’t know most of them so that way, I could make new friends. It might be fun travelling with a group of girlfriends but I’m so used to travelling alone and so used to my own company that I may resent intrusion into my privacy. Besides, why not meet new people and make new friends?

You’ll See

I believe that God won’t test us with something that is beyond our ability to shoulder. I believe that God is near to me and I believe that He will help, protect and heal me. I believe that God will help me get through this; after all, He’s helped me gone through worse times before.

So I will survive this setback. I had already told myself some time back that if I didn’t manage to find a significant other and get married in year X, I would interpret it is me having no jodoh. And I’m fine with that if that’s what God has planned for me. I had been alone (but not lonely!!) before you came into my life and I could go back to being alone again. Heck, I travel alone too and cherish the me-time and my own company. After all, it’s not as if we met every weekend anyway. So don’t worry about me. I’m fine now. I believe that I’m meant to be where I am at this point in time. Just like with everything else, I shall make the best of this situation and pray God will help me cope. After all, everything happens for a reason.

I’m not arrogant enough to say that I can live all alone until I die. Because we all need companions: friends, family members, work colleagues (even if some people may think I’m already antisocial now but I’ve passed the stage of caring about that). I’m sure it’d get harder later on where I would need help in my golden years if I’m blessed with long life. And never say never. I may still meet an unattached man who wants me to be his significant other.

I will make it, insyaAllah. I will survive this, insyaAllah. I know I’ll survive, stay alive and stand on my own. I won’t indulge in any self-endangering activities or punish myself. I love myself too much to do all that crap. I have God by my side and He will help me through this. I might have a setback, I might be emotional and be weepy and teary at times, I might have my ups and downs but I will make it through. I will make it and God will help me make it.

It’s only life after all. We’ll all get through it.

~~~~~~~~

And yesterday, another bloke just confessed me he likes me. He even asked if I didn’t notice it. But why? Why would any guy want to like me, with my quick temper and emo yoyo? Why now? What am I supposed to say/do/feel?

Honestly, if you ask me, I’ve had enough of the male species for now.

Having A Kit Kat/Time Out

If only what I’m going to share today is Sweet Like Chocolate or as catchy as the song. While it is somewhat bitter like dark chocolates, this does not give me comfort, pleasure or satisfaction. Rather, it’s as annoying as those Daim chocolates that get stuck in your teeth.

We’re having a break because you want it. And while I felt I didn’t have much say in it, I reluctantly agreed because I don’t want you to say later on that I wasn’t understanding of your need, that I had refused to give you this break, that I stood in your way, that I denied your request, that I didn’t respect your decision. Far be it from me to stop you from doing what you think you need to.

It is probably what we both need anyway. A breathing space, some time apart, some timeout, never mind that we hardly spend any time together to begin with (but if so, why do I feel weepy and down?).

And while this person said that there are benefits to be spending time apart, I’m pretty sure that in most cases, taking a break is just delaying the inevitable breakup.

There are ground rules including a reasonable time frame (experts say six months is a break up, not a break) and a date be set to check in and reassess. Well, I won’t wait forever. No one in their right mind would want to anyway and it’s not right to expect your significant other to wait and wait. If you still need time to grow, then maybe you were never ready for the relationship in the first place.

Give me Cadbury’s Time Out or Nestle’s Kit Kat any day hey.

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

In Love Story, Jenny told Oliver that love means never having to say you’re sorry. What do you think? This author is of the view that ‘love means never having to say you’re sorry’ means you know you are truly loved and accepted for who you are. And that in order to give this kind of love to another, we must first have to love and accept ourselves with the loving compassion, understanding and zero self-judgment. Only after we have peeled the layers of ego, self-protective walls, egoistic responses and self-manipulation that we think we need to have in order to be accepted and loved can we then love another purely. The same author also believes that when you love someone, you know in your heart that you love never died. You can fell their presence in your heart even if they are out of your life. Maybe that applies to those whose loved ones have passed.

I agree with her that true love is unconditional. It’s where we can accept and allow the other to make mistake, falter and stumble. It’s also where we are allowed make mistakes, falter and stumble ourselves. Love carries no judgement or manipulation. No ego or need for ego gratification.

But love should never been taken for granted either. You have to keep working at it. You have to keep nurturing it. I love myself too much to want to stand back and allow myself to be mistreated and disrespected. I refuse to be accepted to be treated like shit, to be ignored, like I don’t matter. It’s not decent, it’s not nice, it’s definitely not gentlemanly or courteous. No one has to the right to treat a girl with disrespect and badly. Even my dad, old-fashioned as he can be, treats my sister and me with respect (maybe it’s because he’s old-fashioned that he treats us with courtesy and love).

Am I so bad that I can’t be talked to or confided in, have things discussed with? Am I so arrogant, egotistical, unreasonable, hard to talk to that you can’t share your problems with me? Am I so scary that you can’t approach me – which is ironic because it was you who approached me back then? Why is it so hard for you to be open with me, to talk to me, and express yourself?

I’ve had it with trying to be understanding, giving allowances and putting up with and giving second chances for shitty behaviour. Oh, sure I know I’m not perfect either. In fact, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not an easy person to love with: I’m fussy, I have a hot temper, I have emo yoyo and I’m stubborn. And I know, I know, I’m all wrong for you. But on my part, I try hard to be compassionate and understanding of your problems, of your dark past. The past is past and we should all learn from it but leave it behind where it belonged and never ever to resurrect it.

I’m not the clingy type, I don’t think I want to spend 24/7 with you, I want my own me-time as I’m sure you want yours. After all, time spent apart means that time is needed in order to grow. So it’s not that I smother and suffocate you with my presence. Of course I would expect there to be changes had we got married such as cutting down time with your friends or loafing out and spending too goddamn long on social media.

If you don’t care for or appreciate my friendship, then fine. At least have the decency to let me know if this thing has come to an end, if you no longer have feelings for me, if I’ve done anything wrong. Don’t be mute, unreachable and remote when I ask something. Men hate it when women nag and yet when women ask men, they remain mute and ignore women. So women have no choice but to repeat and repeat their question or request which men in turn interpret as nagging. So the problem actually originates from men themselves but as usual they’re too blind and dumb to see it for themselves!

I’ve shed enough tears, I’ve worried and fretted enough, I’ve wondered and pondered what I’ve done wrong. Well, I don’t want to care anymore. Just walk out of my life and leave me alone. I don’t want to be with someone who takes me for granted. If I’m to blame, at least let me know so I can learn from and rectify my error so I won’t repeat it. If this is supposed to be love, then I don’t want to be a part of it.

It’s a good thing all these resurfaced now and not later. On this Mid-Autumn Festival day with the full moon and all, what I have instead is a total eclipse of the heart.