Saying NO to YES

How do you say N.O. to Y.E.S? Well, I have to, and believe me, it's hard saying NO [No Ongkos - Ongkos means money for those who don't know enough Indo lingo] to YES [Year-End Sale]. A sad situation for a shopaholic to be in, I kid you not.

YES started in early December and will last til end-January - fortunately or unfortunately. I was looking forward to some purchases from my hard-earned money but alas, it is not meant to be. I shall not bore you with the details of where my money will instead be chanelled into but suffice to say that I am very broke/tight with money/can't stretch my budget until February pay day [I hope]. So that's like another month to go [boo hoo!]. Being positive, I'd rather view these expenses as capital investment. Which they are really. And I'd rather not take a loan and have to bear the interest when I can still put up with a little suffering.

Now, I know it's not elegant, vulgar in fact, to talk about money. But really, even a shopaholic like me have to be careful with money [after all Adek studied accountancy and if she fails to budget for her expenses, then really, it's like a waste of education], especially since the chances of me landing a ultra-rich boyfriend is close to nil. So like it or not, I do have to save for my future. Mind you, I used to be a spendthrift pre-varsity days. The delights of the shopping complexes were too hard for me to resist even back then. Akak [my elder sister] used to comment, 'She always buys branded stuff.' Actually, I don't think that's wrong. If I derive satisfaction from my purchases, am happy with my little luxuries which I finance myself, don't break the law or rob a bank in getting them, then I don't think it's wrong. And while I'm on this topic, I don't buy fake designer goods. Buying a fake designer product just to impress people is not only 'riak' but also downright distasteful and disgusting. Personally, even brandless products are preferable to fake imitations. But I digress.

University days, well, I had to learn to control my finances. Thousands of miles away from home and dependent on scholarship, with the charms of mysterious, exotic Europe beckoning me, well, I decided I simply must go travelling, exploring England and Europe. That meant I had to juggle my budget between clothes [all those British brands! and shops!], CDs, movies and the less-interesting-but-necessary groceries while leaving a bit in my account for my trips. When Akak came visiting during my final year, she was astounded that I could actually go from one shop to another, from Boots to Superdrug to Wilko and back again, comparing prices. Not that I'm a miser, just wiser and more financial savvy with money. After all, why should one let another cheat him/her off his/her hard-earned money? That would simply be stupid. Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.

Last check: still another 4 weeks of extreme financial discipline and exercising restraints on shopping temptations...

Oh, before I forget, Gong Xi Fa Cai to all. May the year ahead be prosperous for us all. And hey, I'm still eligible for ang pows...

The Lion City: 21 - 25 January 2006

Flew to Singapore on Saturday morning. Trolley bag wheel cover broke off en route to KLIA upset me at first but I was determined not to let that spoil my trip. Landed in overcast Singapore at 1245. Took MRT into the city, alighted at Tanjung Pagar station and walked to the Berjaya Duxton Hotel where I was to spend the first night. It's at a nice row of restored Straits Chinese trading houses in a quiet, leafy area [although the many pubs around guarantee no shortage of nightlife, it was sufficiently quiet enough at my side of building later that night]. The counterlady pointed out at first that my room wasn't ready as it wasn't 3 yet [it was a quarter past 2 then, come on!] and I wasn't too happy with that as I desperately wanted to use the bathroom, pronto! Settled down on the couch to text my friend and the next thing I knew, I was told that the room was ready after all. It was a funny building and reminded me of the Berjaya Eden Park Hotel in London. My room was great, spacious and real nice, despite its irregular shape. The hotel staff were thoughtful enough to offer me a welcome drink at the lobby [thanks, I really needed it after the walk in the afternoon humidity] and some fruits in the room which I gratefully ate for some Vitamin C-powered lunch.

After refreshing myself, I decided to venture out. The counterlady had to tell me when I left the keys that 'We've upgraded your room to deluxe cos there's no available standard room', to which I replied, 'Oh, ok', unsure of what to reply actually! Did she really have to tell me that?!

Took MRT to City Hall. My mate told me he would be there at 4 so went walking around at first. Then he text to say he was running late and would only arrive at 4.15 pm. No problem, I needed to make another visit to the washroom anyway.

Went to the Esplanade - Theatres on the Bay via an underground link. He admitted that it was his first time there but no worries, I had enough maps on me to ensure we wouldn't be lost. Esplanade, a performing arts centre located on the shore of Marina Bay, is actually two domed buildings housing the Concert Hall and Lyric Theatre with a spiky durian-like exterior. You can see the Merlion Park from the Esplanade and other Singapore landmarks [in case you don't know, Merlion is Singapore's defining symbol with the head of a lion and a tail of a fish or mermaid]. While admiring the Singapore skyline, I had the following conversation with my friend:

Me: What's that building there?

He: Where, which one?

Me: There, that one. The one that looks like a spaceship just landed on it.

He: [short pause] That's the Court.

Me: ...whoops...

Just as we decided to walk over to the Merlion Park, it rained, fortunately or unfortunately [it didn't look very near somehow, or perhaps it was getting hazy and the location seemed a bit obscure]. 10 minutes on and it looked like it was determined to continue raining cats and dogs so we decided to saunter over to the Suntec City. As it is Singapore's largest shopping and entertainment centre, what little part of Suntec City that I saw reminded me of Times Square. Huge, gigantic, with nothing much to offer apart from the normal shops you can no doubt find in countless other malls. We didn't linger here long as I was getting a little sick of shopping malls by then [Raffles City, CityLink Mall, Suntec...]. And it was only my first day!

I then decided to check up Arab Street so we walked to the nearest bus stop in the drizzle [the rain had since trickled to that]. After traipsing all over the place checking out Masjid Sultan, Istana Kampung Glam and the various textile shops, we had a late tea at Zam Zam Restaurant, quite famous for its murtabak. After the cosy tete-a-tete, I suggested going to Little India, specifically the Mustafa Centre, to er, purchase superglue for my poor bag wheel [which turned out to be an unnecessary purchase as I later discovered back at the hotel that the whole covering had broken off. Sob!]. The rain came down again and I regretted for the umpteenth time leaving the hotel's umbrella in the wardrobe. Later on, after walking up and down, and in and out of Mustafa [there is definitely more than one block of Mustafa!], we decided to have dinner at some food court near Lavender [the neighbourhood name escaped me now]. Dinner was bones of lamb cooked an alarming shade of red [wonder if it was the chilli or the colouring?] served with bread.

The remainder of Saturday night was spent glued to the TV, flicking the channels between Badminton All England and Australian Open and English Premier League. Alas, all those I rooted for lost. So much for robbing my beauty sleep!

Sunday morning, I woke up for prayers then back to the sheets again. Checked out at a quarter to 12 and made my way to the Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel at Havelock Road, where I would spend the next 3 nights. Realised rather belatedly that I didn't even take pictures of the Duxton Hotel [it looks quite charming from outside]. Oh well... After an early check-in [thank you, God!], ironing, freshening up etc, went out to Orchard Road. Developed serious leg muscles walking there and back and along Orchard Road. So many people on the streets, I reckoned there must be 573,249 people walking up and down that stretch of road and in shopping complexes there, what with the upcoming Lunar New Year the following weekend. Didn't find much to catch my fancy except for some innerwear at Marks & Spencer to reward me for all that walk. It rained again, very heavily too, but I was well prepared with my umbrella - which I didn't get to use anyway as I was in malls and covered walkways. Stopped at the Great World City, some 100 metres away from the hotel to buy dinner and some groceries. Found out that it actually offers free shuttle services to Chinatown MRT, City Hall MRT, and get this, Orchard Road! Argh!!! Moan, groan, mumble, grumble!!!
Sunday night, again watched Australian Open [no HBO at this hotel for some strange reason despite many more channels] against my better judgement.

Monday: another grey start to the morning. Rise and shine early, conference started today [yes, I was there on business]. The keynote addresses almost put me back to sleep, thank God for the coffee break! It got more interesting after that til the end of the day. Befriended some folks from India and had the following conversation during tea break:

Me: Are you going to Little India?

They: No, we are from Big India, we don't want to go to Little India!

Me: [laughed] Yeah, but most Chinese friends I know will go check out Chinatown wherever there is one.

They: We want to check out Chinatown, but not Little India definitely!

Monday evening, took shuttle to City Hall MRT. Decided to be a normal tourist and walked to the river, past the Parliament Building, and came upon the statue of Sir Stamford Raffles, sited where he supposedly landed on his first visit. I looked up at the proud statue and wondered, eh, what happened to Sang Nila Utama then? Walked further on to the Fullerton Hotel, and crossed the street to the Merlion Park. Another overcast day, no rain on the horizon, but still no scenic sunset either. Back to the comforts of Raffles City Plaza but still couldn't find anything to buy. It's still so much cheaper back home... stayed up again to watch Australian Open, til way past 1 am, which was really really late for sleepyhead me who's usually in bed way before 11 on a typical weeknight at home.

It was a struggle staying awake on Tuesday but I didn't sleep and still managed to concentrate. Hey, otherwise it would be pointless to be there at all. Some people may even skip the second day altogether and wander off to other more interesting places. The speaker at the end was getting all excited and ended up taking longer than he should, much to the dicomfort of most of us. It finally ended at 5.45 pm and I practically ran all the way back to my room.

Changed clothes in record time and caught a shuttle to the City Hall MRT. Took MRT to Kallang station and walked to the Singapore Indoor Stadium [SIS] for the [*drumroll*] BACKSTREET BOYS concert!!! It all looked very near and within reasonable walking distance from the MRT station on the map but heck, it was anything but! To top it, the SIS was on the other side of Nicoll Highway which meant you need to take the overhead bridge or underpass to get to the other side.

I thought I'd be the only one to come on my own when this nyonya who didn't look a day below 45 came in and sat at the row in front of me. Amazing, she really didn't look the typical BSB audience/fan. Shows that one is only as young/old as she feels. BSB was superb, cute and funny, especially Nick, my favourite. Almost everyone was screaming, yours truly included. Will try post some pictures later on but the pictures didn't turn out great unfortunately.

The show ended barely 2 hours later [it started at 8.30 pm, half an hour later than scheduled]. I wasn't keen to catch public transportation that late in the day but Singapore is quite safe. Took MRT back to City Hall and then bus back to hotel. Watched some Australian Open action until I couldn't stay awake anymore.

Alas, Wednesday arrived all too soon. Woke up early to go to Arab Street. Being adventurous, took a bus there, wandered a bit before finding Zam Zam Restaurant for the murtabak to bring home. Next, it was the textile shops, looking for cotton materials. Back at hotel at 10 sth, packed, had some light meal - hey I needed the energy with all the luggage. Realised I would be running late, flight was scheduled for 1345 hours and hurried to check out. Took a cab to City Hall MRT, changed to MRT to Changi. The sun was actually shining today. Anyway guess what, the flight was delayed to 1500 and subsequently 1515. Duh! Checked in anyway and went straight in to the duty-free area. Was so tempted to buy a white gold ring at Gucci [I can never resist going into Gucci] but I was sure it was more expensive, even after the sale, than in KL. Told the snooty saleslady as much and I could swear she gave me a cold shoulder after that. [Whatever happened to Service With A Smile and The Customer Is Always Right, huh?]. Did contemplate it though a few times after that - that's what delayed flights would do to me - but decided I couldn't, mustn't, shouldn't charge anything to my credit card, not now. Instead, walked around other shops and then went to check my emails before having a meal while still contemplating that ring. I really should get a guy to buy me a ring and not have to buy it myself. I don't mind buying other stuff for myself, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, but I've never bought a ring for myself. Almost did in December, but most rings at KM Oli seemed to sport diamonds, which I simply refuse to buy for myself [the Gucci ring did not come with any diamond].

Flight finally took off at 1530. Caught up with news back home and attempted Sudoku and before I knew it, it was time to land...

Can't believe I'll be at the airport again in 2 days' time.

Memories...

It wasn't love, no, it was certainly not that. But I did like him.

He was different from the other blokes I knew: he was much older. I'd hoped that that would mean that he was wiser, more matured, patient, considerate and caring. Oh, and he was of a different background, race and religion. I liked him (note the past tense) despite all that. A few friends encouraged me to pursue the relationship but many more advised me against it/him.

I told him earlier on that he must not convert because of love (if it ever developed into that) or because of anyone: that is not a good enough reason to change one's faith. But he must only do so because of God. I hoped that over time, it would be clearer to him as to the right thing to do. Sure, converting one's faith is not something one does every day or overnight. It takes time to change one's beliefs and faith. I was willing to give him time. I was willing to wait. I prayed to God for him to make his own decision, not that influenced by peer pressure. Oh, how I prayed!

But it didn't work out. It was not meant to be. it probably shouldn't have started at all. And I was hit. Surprisingly, unexpectedly, hard.

I never knew the reason(s). Was it religion? Pressure from family/friends/pastor? Was it the background then? Was it the age gap? Was it me? Or circumstances? Something like being in the wrong relationship at the wrong time? Or, was there a third party? Worse still, was he just playing with my Feelings?

I was angry at first, understandably so. Angry that he didn't seem to try to save it. Angry cause I didn't know what happened, why it happened, how... Sure he didn't make promises, infact he disclaimed any liability even from the beginning. I was convinced I hated him for not giving it more time to work out. I hated it when we bumped into each other which was inevitable at first. I hated him for making me hate myself for liking him. If that makes sense.

Was it wrong of me to expect a miracle? Was it wrong of me to set hopes, to pray that it would work out? Was I just being stupid, naive, Foolish? I'd like to think that I had not prayed, hoped and waited in vain.

I accept now that we are not meant to be. That it was another page in my history book. That God has other plans for me, which I have yet to uncover and discover. I no longer hate him - it's self-destructive and pointless. He probably doesn't even know the torture I put myself through. I have forgiven him but it proves much harder to forget. But I have stopped wondering what went wrong, a long time ago. I have stopped analysing the past and agonising over 'what-ifs'.

As the saying goes, there's a lot of water under the bridge now. Let sleeping dogs lie. But sometimes, the Memories still come back to haunt me...

Gym 101

Went to the gym yesterday for the 3rd time this week. Now, I don't like going to the gym; I much prefer going out for a nice, evening brisk walk/stroll punctuated with short-distance jogs at my own pace, and no, it's NOT a part of my New Year's resolution or something but there's this competition from 3 January-31 March that my department is organising and among others, thou's attendance at the gym counts [actually it's more cos the people at the Sport's Unit want to boost gym attendance; otherwise it doesn't really matter if you go to the gym or go to the Lake Garden or walk up/down the stairs]! Er, besides an improvement in BMI. I don't mean to be vain or proud but I don't think this 2nd area [improvement in BMI] is going to be a problem, thanks to my high metabolism.

As I'm a 'gym virgin', my mate had to teach me how to use the treadmill. Yes, treadmill is just fine for the time being, thank you very much, and later I might just consider trying out the cycle thing. Don't ask me to play badminton or squash - I'm not sure i can handle the racket and besides I might go mental from concentrating on watching the shuttlecock/ball for so long and ensuring it doesn't hit me somehow! Assuming I even know the rules to begin with.

Yesterday, I went down alone as my usual partner, yeah the one who taught me how to use the machine, was trying to finish some work. There I was stuck between a chap and a gal who were both running as if their lives depended on it and my struggling in between, jogging for dear life and trying not to fall off the machine. Now you know why I don't like gyms. Your fellow gym-goers are either too kiasu for you or trying to check out the pace you're doing and quietly snickering away at your pathetic attempt. To me, that's even stressful and runs counter to why you're going to the gym in the 1st place [so why bother?]! I figured I managed to run a good 15 minutes yesterday, hey not bad for someone who couldn't run to save her life, nor for that matter, play any physical games back in school. [But mind you, I can play a mean game of Scrabble]. One good thing about our gym though is that there's a radio somewhere which blasts out Hitz.Fm [or is it Mix.Fm] so you can pretend you're trying to sing to the songs on air in your head and avoid conversation with the competitive freaks next to you.

My good friend once posted sth useful and I've managed to track them in the cyber archive of our group. Here it is, The Guide to the Gym - I don't think the word 'Idiot' is appropriate as my friend is an MD you know. I'm copying this word by word, don't think there's a trademark or patent or copyright on the email although certain names (see those in italics) have been changed to protect identities:

~~~~~~~~~~

I shall concentrate on the gym side of things. There are the aerobics classes, spinning, body-combat, swimming but I usually feel like shouting to the instructor 'Slow down you stick insect! I have feelings too, you know!' So I best stick to the gym.

It might be worth giving yourself a programme and target. I assume you want to keep your cardio-vascular-respiratory systems in tip top condition.

Start stretching exercises- you want your muscles to loosen up. This takes about five minutes.

Then, do the warm up- anything that gets your heart rate up. Do it gently. This takes 10 minutes to 30 minutes depending on how warm-up you want to get.

Then, the serious work. Better do this in stages. Basically, the cardio-exercise heart rate is 220 minus your age for men and 200 minus 30 for women, but I never manage that.

Most exercise machines have calorie counters and other measures of intensity of the exercise. So, up the target everytime you go to the gym. If time is the limiting factor, aim to burn more calories within a specified time on every gym visit. This gorgeous guy at the gym (hem!hem!) told me that the more intense the exercise the more efficient my body becomes (my body? efficient? come on! says MissX tersipu-sipu).

As for calories, at present I aim to burn around 500 every gym visit, about hour and a half - twice a week is average for me, because I probably consume around 3000 per day. (Tamak haloba you...)

Now, for weights: (I'm sure you know everything about this): The more muscles you have the greater is your Basal Metabolic Rate (calories that you burn anyway, without any physical activity). The reason is that muscles consume more energy at rest compared to fat. Since med school however, my arms and shoulders have GROWN enormously, probably occupational hazards so I am not into pumping iron at all. My thighs are HUGE but I think they are my fat storage areas.

When you are on the exercise bike, threadmill or cross-trainer, if your life flashes before your very eyes, stop before you even get to Standard 1 let alone Form 1 at school. Be sensible. DO NOT attempt to reach alam Barzah.

MissY wrote some time ago that watching and listening to MTV is a good motivator because of the skinny girls on it. What I find is that those girls also have Giant Tits, which may depress the less endowed amongst us. So I stick to my 'learn Arabic' CD. Now I can tell my left and right. The progress is slow needless to say.

Make sure that cool down after every strenous exercise. So, if you have been going like the road-runner (beep! beep!) on the threadmill, slow down to a walking pace for about 5 to 10 minutes.

Might be worth doing the stretching exercises just before you leave.

Now, congratulate yourself on the good work and reward yourself with an enormous cream cake, after all you are going to the gym again. Good luck with the gymming.

[in another posting]

Aim to reach 70 to 90% your max heart rate, easier said than done. I do struggle to reach even 160, so I concentrate on intensity. Still struggling to run 400m. Remember all those sports assessments were compulsory. Never managed it at school as I always pretended to have a fall at 200m. Amazing that I got away with it for five years.

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I can't wait til 1 April! No more gym after that! Hello again nature!

The blessed month of Zulhijjah

What's so great about the new year? Frankly, I no longer care about celebrating New Year. I don't see the point of celebrating the 'Christian' New Year anyway [it's 2006 A.D. anno domini which means 'in the year of Our Lord' - the Lord meaning Jesus Christ]. Sure, Muslims believe in Jesus as in Nabi Isa AS. But that's where it ends. He's not our Lord, he's one of our prophets. But some Muslims celebrate the New Year big time, wasting their time at Dataran Merdeka waiting for the clock to turn 12 just to yell Happy New Year!, sing Auld Lang Syne, watch fireworks, get drunk, grab anyone you can get hold off, kiss them etc. Now, I ask is that Islamic? Why can't we spend the night ushering the new year by reading the Holy Quran and make prayers of thanks and gratitude that we have passed another year and may God bless us in the new year. I should think we ought to 'celebrate' Maal Hijrah instead. Do Muslims of this age actually think that our time in the world will not pass unquestioned? There are four inevitable things: youth before old age; leisure before hardship; health before illness; and life before death. We will all be questioned on how we spend our youth, how well we utilise the time given to us. Did we spend it gaining ilmu and then teaching it to others [rather than hoarding it] or do we utilise it by loafing, wasting our time, celebrating New Year, Merdeka and whatever people these days deem worth celebrating even when they are not including attending stupid Karnival Sure Heboh or Akademi Fantasia concerts and gaining not a single iota of knowledge or benefit in the process? Be sure that God will question us. How sad we'll be in the afterlife when all we could show for our life in this world is our amazing ability to waste time, effort, energy & money. That kind of life seems so empty and wasted. Now I'm not saying everything the westerners do are bad. God knows, I have spent my fair share of time abroad, alhamdulillah. But I just wonder why we can't emulate the positive things the westerners do, like exploring the outerspace, being involved in charity& voluntary work, help to save the environment etc.

No, I see no reason for me to celebrate new year. After all, it's just another year to go through - need to work harder than ever, as if I haven't already. But then again, I'm sure I'm a minority in this thinking but I believe I'm allowed the liberty of these thoughts.

As my title reads, we are now in the last month of the Hijrah year, the blessed month of Zulhijjah, the first 10 days of which are the most honorable and the best days in the Hijrah calendar.

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"The ten days of Dhu'l Hijjah are the first ten days of the 12th Islamic calendar month called Dhu'lHijjah. These are the days when most of the pilgrims make a journey to Makkah and perform their tasks of Hajj. Just as they have a special chance to get extra reward, the ones who were not able to go to Hajj arealso given a special chance to get extra reward during these days."http://www.a2youth.com/islam/special/dhulhijjah.html

Ahmad and at-Tabarani record from Ibn 'Umar that theMessenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said,"There is no day more honorable in Allah 's sight and no acts more beloved therein to Allah than those in these ten days. So say tahlil (There is no deity worthy of worship but Allah: La ilaha illAllah), takbir (Allah is the greatest : Allahu akbar) and tahmid (All praise is due to Allah: alhumdulillah) a lot [on those days]." [Reported by Ahmad, 7/224; Ahmad Shakir stated it is saheeh]

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Signing off on one of the most honorable days in the Hijrah calendar.