Ramadan Trip To KT

There was a Malaysia Airlines offer earlier in the year and I decided to buy tickets, one of them to Kuala Terengganu. While I had been to Kemaman and Dungun in the past few years, I hadn’t been to KT in ages. When dad was unwell, I did consider rescheduling my trip but when my brothers stayed resolutely away and not come back to visit, I decided to proceed with my plan. Dad was getting better (or at least, better than he was four weeks ago) and the caregiver had agreed and was prepared to stay in. I had booked the company’s resort in Batu Buruk as it would still work out better than staying in town even after adding in e-hailing service. Oh, MAS changed my return flight to a later one in the evening so I called MAS up and asked if I could fly Firefly back. I called MAS again about two weeks before the trip to change the flight departure time from12:35 to 09:50.

I left home at almost noon on Saturday (16 April) and took the train to TBS. I bought the 13:15 Jetbus ticket to KLIA and didn’t have to wait long for it. We arrived KLIA about an hour later and I went to perform prayers first before dropping off my bag. I had been assigned a seat towards the rear of the plane (couldn’t change it online) and asked if I could change seats. The lady informed that the only seat available was by the window at the emergency row and I agreed. Of course I was also praying that any emergency would not arise for I doubt I had the strength to help open the emergency door. We boarded the plane and waited for take-off.

Well, we ended waiting for an hour before the control tower gave us the green light to take off. We finally took off at 17:15 which meant we only landed at 18:00 at TGG. We had to wait to disembark as MAS only allowed people to disembark in rows of fours, i.e. the first four rows would disembark, followed by the next four rows. Was I glad I changed my seats after all!

I was reunited with my bag soon enough but the Maxim driver cancelled my booking and I had to make another booking, wait for it to be accepted and then wait for the driver to arrive. Maxim only charged RM12.60, Grab would’ve charged me RM21 and the airport cab would cost me RM30.

The driver arrived and we set off. There was a lot of traffic, it being the weekend and many people were out and about before they went to break fast. There were many picnicking by the sea too (some areas did not even have beach but those boulders and yet there were people sitting there). We arrived at the resort at 18:50 and I had to wait for the keys to my chalet. Alas, the caretaker informed me the WiFi was off for the chalet so I asked to change chalets. She told me she could only inform me after Maghrib.

Alhamdulillah, I managed to change chalets. After a very brief and simple iftar, I walked out to buy food for my predawn meal. I came back, had a shower, performed prayers and had some bread before I turned in.

On Sunday morning, after predawn meal and morning prayers, I walked to the beach. It was littered when I last visited it and was still littered. I don’t know why the locals and visitors alike cannot learn not to litter. I combed the beach for seashells and turned back after half an hour because the sun was already intense.

I ordered a Maxim car for 09:30 and the driver was already waiting for me when I walked out at 09:28. We drove to the Terengganu state museum, the biggest museum in Malaysia. It wasn’t near and we arrived just before 10:00. I was not amused when I saw I had to climb up stairs to enter the museum and also within the museum itself. There are four blocks, and three opened for visitors with various galleries. I spent slightly over two hours there.

I saw on the map that the Islamic Civilisation Park was nearby (well, about 2 km away) and decided to walk there. So I walked and walked, enjoying a glimpse of the river along the way. Alas, the Monument Park was closed due to Ramadan. I walked on until I reached the Crystal Mosque. I was surprised to find it was smaller inside than what I expected.

I tried getting a Maxim car back to the resort but one cancelled on me and after waiting too long, I decided to walk out of the Wan Man island. I was lucky this time and got a driver. Back at the resort, I performed prayers and collapsed into a nap.

On Monday, I decided to walk into town, cutting across into a park. It was an overcast morning and it started drizzling. I continued on past the hospital but the rain suddenly turned heavy and I sought shelter under some trees outside a cemetery, near to the Batu Bersurat roundabout. I stayed there for maybe 15 minutes reading my book before continuing on. The sun struggled out shortly after.

I walked to Masjid Abidin, the state’s old royal mosque. It’s more than 200 years old and has been enlarged. I checked out the women’s praying area before continuing on to nearby Istana Maziah. The official palace of the Sultan of Terengganu, it is located at the foot of Bukit Puteri. There’s a mini park by the palace which looked unkempt. What else is new in Malaysia, eh.

I walked around and disregarding signs saying that Bukit Puteri was closed for upgrading, climbed up the steps. There was a gate which was kept unlocked so I opened it. Alas, one man came and told me it was closed. I asked nicely if I could take pictures and he repeated that the place was closed. Closed since 2017 for upgrading indeed! There didn’t look to be any progress at all. Upgrading, my foot!

I walked down and crossed over to Pasar Kedai Payang, the central market. I entered the market, had a browse but didn’t buy anything as I would be returning. I continued on to Kampung Cina or Chinatown. This village has existed since the 15th century and at the time, it was the main hub for commercial activities in town. I had a great time walking through Chinatown. I walked on past the area until the waterfront. I had to ask for directions twice before I found the waterfront globe.

Trishaws outside Pasar Kedai Payang

Chinatown

Walked all the way to the waterfront before turning back and returning to Chinatown and then Pasar Kedai Payang

Back at Pasar Kedai Payang

I then turned back and walked back through Chinatown and back to Pasar Kedai Payang. I bought some durian cakes and local snacks, two caftans for myself, a sarong for dad’s caregiver and some raisins from an annoying man. Then I ordered a Maxim car and was pleasantly surprised to get the same uncle who brought me to the museum the day before.

Back in my room, I had a shower before performing prayers and collapsing in bed.

I woke up and read my book before getting ready. My mate would be picking me up. We were in the same dorm/house and same class during our lower secondary years. She arrived at about 18:30 and drove us to Felda Residence for iftar. A canopied outdoor area was set for iftar and we enjoyed the evening breeze while waiting to break fast. After iftar, we drove around town before stopping at Uncle Chua for some drinks before she sent me back to the resort.

Tuesday morning arrived and it was already time to leave ;( My mate came to pick me up at 07:30 and drove us to the airport. She had kindly printed my boarding pass too. I had to wait a bit for the counter to open to drop off my bag. After dropping off my bag, I met up my mate again and we drove past UMT and UniSZA up to Kuala Nerus. We got down at Kuala Nerus Lake Garden for some Kodak moments before driving back to the airport. I never expected I could still visit places with my early departure time! Thank you again, mate!

ETD was 09:50 but as everyone had boarded, we were already taxiing at 09:44. We landed at Subang Airport an hour later. Alhamdulillah for this opportunity.

Life Changes

 Dad had been going to the Health Clinic every fortnight to change his urine bag. He would usually suffer some pain after he came back from the clinic and the pain would last for a few days. On Wednesday, 23 March 2022, he went to change the urine bag as usual and when I came back from work, he said he was in so much pain the whole day. It was so bad he even passed motion a few times. It even continued until he no longer realised he was about to pass motion – maybe the muscles had gone weak.

 

Early the following morning, I found faeces by his bed and had to clean it up. I found the same thing repeated on Friday morning but this time, his bedsheet had also been soiled. I felt like crying but crying never helped in those situations so I picked up all the soiled clothing and proceeded to launder them. I also noticed that he had started to confuse his prayer steps. He then proceeded to doze off after morning prayers on Friday and I woke him up and told him to lie down. Well, he ended up sleeping until past 11 a.m. I consulted Akak and she told me to buy some adult diapers.

 

It continued through that weekend. He became weaker. It was shocking to see how rapid his health deteriorated. I turned to Mr Google and found some companies that offered doctors on call and after contacting with a few, managed to secure one to come on Saturday evening. I never knew before that we had doctors on call here. The doctor arrived late as he was detained at his previous visit. He told my sister that dad had an infection as evidence by the cloudy urine. He gave some antibiotics and advised for dad to switch to silicone catheter.

 

Dad remained weak throughout that weekend. Akak had informed the brothers and they suggested either getting an Indonesian helper or bringing dad to stay at Akak’s (‘smart ideas’ eh). Akak came across a couple of caregivers and asked me to contact them so I did. The first caregiver I contacted said he could help care after dad and after I had discussed with his wife (it’s a husband-and-wife venture), they agreed to pay a visit that Sunday afternoon. I had also contacted another caregiver and the person agreed to come that same evening but never showed up. I decided to give the first caregiver a three-day trial.

 

Well, I think it’s dad’s rezeki because the caregiver has so far shown that he’s trustworthy, patient and able to care for dad. Dad’s condition slowly improved, very slowly actually. He needed help the first ten days after he got ill – help getting into bed, help getting out of bed, help getting to and into the bathroom, help getting up from the toilet... he’s better now at getting into and out of bed but we have to hold on to him when he walks now. He has a good appetite but is always unable to finish his meals because he feels nauseous after a few bites. He still misses some rakaat and rituals in his prayers but he's still determined to keep on performing prayers. He would put any young and abled non-practising Muslims to shame with his determination.

 

I know he’s ready to go and I cannot stop it if Allah has deemed it’s time for him to go. But I can’t help wondering who would take care of me when he’s gone. Am I selfish for thinking about myself? Maybe. Still, I know I can’t make him feel bad about leaving me behind.

 

I haven’t been sleeping well for the past three weeks. It seems like my temporary new norm is to get up after 02:00 or 03:00 in the morning and not be able to sleep thereafter. It’s taking a toll on me. I insist on still going to work because I would go mental otherwise. I need social interaction and stimulation. I do the best I can, spend time with him and attend to him when I get home. I don’t see why I can’t let someone who’s better able and capable of caring my dad look after him while I’m at work. He needs the job and is doing us all a favour, and we need him to help dad and us. And as far as possible, I want some aspect of my life to continue as usual.

 

I now have to do a whole lot of things every morning before leaving for work. Previously, I’d have to get up in the middle of the night when he called out for me to help him go to the bathroom (he doesn’t do often anymore and yet I still wake up at ungodly hours for no reason at all). I cook him porridge, cook one or two vegetable dish, cook rice and sometimes boil water before leaving for work. I sweep the dining and kitchen areas every alternate days and run the laundry, hang the clothes and fold them when I get back from work. I help bring him to the bathroom to perform ablutions, heat up the food and serve dinner, empty out his urine bag, brush his dentures, put on his diapers after he’s gone to the toilet. Alhamdulillah it has been raining on some afternoons so at least I don’t have to spend too much time watering the plants. On weekends, I bathe him too. In short, I have to do a lot more multi-tasking and juggling chores.

 

I also have to spend a lot more on his care: adult diapers, silicone catheters, urine bags, nutritional drinks (to ensure he still gets his nutrition despite not being able to finish his meals). I now browse for adult diapers on Shopee!

 

Still, I am thankful. Thankful that he may be forgetful at times but not suffering from Alzheimer or trapped in his own world. He’s still lucid. I’m thankful that he can still walk slowly and not wheelchair bound. I’m thankful that I still get to perform prayers with him. I’m thankful that I’m still healthy and able myself to take care of him. Oh, my brothers still haven’t come back to visit. Why even bother having sons? Dad is doing much better now than he was twenty days ago but there are many things that he will no longer do liked drive out to get food or send me half-way every morning.

 

I know I haven’t been the best daughter. I’m rough, I’m not a ladylike girly girl who’s soft and gentle. I used to have a very short fuse but I’ve learned to be patient (still learning). I’m sorry that dad has to put up with me. Well, as of now I don’t have anyone that can help care for me so I still have to work to earn money that will help me hire some caregiver if I reach old age insyaAllah.

 

It’s hard work and I get so tired these days. I have lost weight, easily 2-3 kg. I need a break every now and then too and no one had better stop me or make me feel guilty for taking a well-deserved break. Even caregivers have their off days!

 

I pray that Allah will ease our affairs. Ameen.

Step By Step

My alma mater is celebrating its 75^th year this year (Diamond Jubilee) and there are activities lined up. After the logo designing competition at the end of 2021, we have the Jom 75k Steps which runs throughout the whole of March. Proceeds go to association fund for charity.

 

My friend was busy persuading us to participate. I was undecided at first then finally decided to participate. I had my own targets: to reach 75k within the first week, 100k steps after 10 days, 150k steps by 15 March and at least 300k steps by month-end. Some of us met up during weekends to walk together at the Lake Garden and Putrajaya. I just concentrated on my own individual walk. It helps that I go to the office almost daily because working from home will definitely not generate enough steps for me.

 

We were in fourth place for some time and one day, we overtook the team in third place and later the same day, we even leapfrogged the team which had resolutely been in second. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long and we dropped back to third place within a week. And at one point, we even dropped back to fourth place but we fought back. It was a daily ritual for us to check BiiB to see how our team was faring. We gave encouragement to each other, we even pressured each other to do more. We were kiasu. Alas, in the end, we could not get ourselves from fourth spot.

 

Oh, we had our challenges. Some of our walkers succumbed to Covid. Some had knee problems, some had diarrhoea, and I have my own problems, concerns and worries over dad. I still tried my best and wish I could do more. I managed 373k steps a bit more. Couldn’t quite reach 375k steps, alas.

 

So glad it’s over as it means I don’t have to carry my phone every day and all the time. I had never been so attached to my phone as I was in March!

 

#keepingupwiththekurshians