Thursday, August 30, 2018

All Too Easy

It’s all too easy for me to –
Admit defeat.
Blame others, the world, God, circumstances, the universe, everything and everyone else but myself.
Feel sorry for myself.
Just give up.
Stop trying.
Surrender.
Think the world is against me and nothing I do is ever good enough.
Think I’m a failure. Failure to Launch for one.

And yes, sometimes, I feel weighed down and overwhelmed by my responsibilities. I also admit that I have a problem with relationships, specifically staying in one. I’m not sure if it’s because of the ghosts of the beaux past and the pain endured after each relationship ended or if it’s just me who’s afraid of being hurt and reluctant to commit.

I do have my ups and downs, my bad days when I feel I’ve lost my mojo and it takes a few days at most for me to get my groove back and snap out of it. And while it’s only too easy to just give up, I won’t. Because God will always test us all anyway and it’s not how you fall or fail but how you pick yourself up and mend that matters. This is life after all. It’s never going to be a breeze, a rose garden, smooth without any bumps. Life will always throw you a curveball when you least expect it and are least prepared for it.

Just understand and give me space when I’m down and in the doldrums. Because it’s never easy to bounce back but bounce back I will, insyaAllah.

On another totally different note: Happy Independence Day, Malaysia.