Of Mice And Men

We’ve been having mice problems of late: it wouldn’t be long where we finally managed to catch one that we sighted yet another making its merry way around the kitchen. These disgusting rodents scare me, yes, albeit their comparatively much smaller size compared to moi. I hate and detest and feel disgusted with them. We’ve also been having black ant problems (they migrated from the rambutan tree (at one point there were fire ants at the rambutan tree) to the rose apple tree outside the porch). Sometimes these ants enter the house and build nests - a few months ago, I belatedly discovered a colony in the kitchen drawer where we store drinking glasses.

I had broached the idea of pest control to dad but he dismissed the idea saying that such activity uses dangerous poison that’s harmful to health. After setting a trap on Tuesday evening and successfully catching a mouse the following morning (and having to dispose of the body *euwww* *ugh* *disgusting*), I decided it was high time I called pest control. So I browsed and selected Ikari, a joint venture with a Japanese company and, equally important, located in Pandan Indah and called them. I must say I wasn’t impressed at first with the person who took the call and the lady she passed the call to who promised a sales consultant would call me shortly. I waited a couple of hours and rang the company again, this time asking to speak to a sales consultant. I was lucky to be put through to Darren who promised to come over the same evening, even though I told him I’d likely be free only after 19:30 after performing prayers.

Darren told me he was in Subang Jaya when I informed I was already home and that he would come the following evening. However, 40 minutes later, he rang and said he was back at the office and could come over if I still wanted him to. I agreed and he arrived at 20:35. We did a simple internal site inspection but as it was already dark, he would come and do a second inspection, external inspection this time. He also shared info about the disgusting rodents, the baits Ikari uses and that the company uses poison of class IV toxicity that even if domestic cats accidentally eat baits meant for rodents, there won’t be any side effect. I told him I agreed to engage his company’s services and we agreed he would come again on Saturday.

Darren arrived at 09:50 on Saturday and we did external site inspection. He then made another internal inspection before proceeding to spray the house. I helped move some furniture to make his access easier around the house perimeter. Then we set some mouse baits and I helped him fold the bait casings. After all that, he went out to spray the external perimeter before spraying the rose apple tree. I asked if I could try my hand at it and he said sure. The spray pumped from an eight-litre container and I could only offer to try it then when it was about a quarter full.

Before he left, Darren asked me about my circumstances. I told him I’m staying with dad and looking after him after Mummy passed. He said he’s also doing the same thing with his mum after his dad passed. He then said that no matter what religion we believe in and follow, he believes all religion teach the same thing and about caring and respecting our parents. He told me he’s also the youngest in the family with the oldest brother not giving a damn about the family. The sister also didn’t care about the mother but is now regretting her past actions. Then he said he was actually closer to his dad than his mother and he felt that it is God’s will that he lost the parent he was closer to and now has to care for the parent who used to beat him. I told him that I was also closer to my mum and it is hard for me to share things with my dad and maybe that’s God’s plan for us: for us to be close to the parent we still have remaining, to improve our relationship and to care for the remaining parent. It is our duty, I concurred, although I know my sister and sometimes I too feel aggrieved, angry and resentful that my older brothers have happily washed their hands off dad. One brother actually cared for his precious mother-in-law for years when she had stroke and now that old woman has not only recovered from the stroke but is able to carry out chores and cook again for customers. Seriously, WTF is that? You can care for your mother-in-law but you can hardly come and spend three days in total in a year with dad? That’s a seriously fucked up attitude, dude.

I told Darren I don’t want to concentrate on what my brothers haven’t been and aren’t doing although there are times when I feel the unfairness bearing on me. I feel overwhelmed and not strong enough to face the challenges of caring for an elderly parent. Darren said we should forget about other people, that he believes in karma, that he believes we will die an easy death knowing that we have tried our best and done our part and that these uncaring siblings will get their lot later on in life. I agreed and said we should continue doing what we can to the best of our ability.

Darren also said from his brief observation and acquaintance with me that he found me a helpful caring person (my little help to ease his work – actually I was just trying to help and speed up the process!) and that most clients wouldn’t care to do that. He said he believed I’m a caring warm person and I would try my best for my dad. Imagine such praises from someone you just met! Even those who know me better and longer find it hard to give me any compliments.

I thanked Darren again for his kind words and for his service, for helping me fight my rodent and ant nightmare even though it was his off day and for managing to fit me in so soon after my call to Ikari. We may have started as service provider and client and total strangers but I believed we parted as friends. We also gave each other encouragement and I reminded him to take good care of himself, for how we take care of anyone if we are ill ourselves? We have to take care of ourselves first before we can care for another and that’s not being selfish but logical and practical. In the aeroplanes, the emergency procedure always stresses that you must put on the oxygen mask on yourself first before attending to others for how can you be of help if you attend to others first and then suffocate as you try to attend to yourself?

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I told my sister late last night that none of my brothers had better be saying that I’ve not been taking care of dad. I’ve done so for the past 7 years and counting. It’s not that I want to be calculative but I want them to realise that I’ve done more than they ever will. Have they ever offered to take care of dad? NO. NOPE. NADA. Not for 7 months, not for 7 weeks and not even for 7 days. So don’t anyone try to bitch about me when all these years I try my best when they haven’t. You think it’s easy living with an octogenarian parent who’s a worrier warrior, always anxious and terribly paranoid? I miss my old life living by myself in micasa. It’s so much nearer for me to commute to/fro work staying at micasa (a 10-minute walk to the bus station compared to almost double that duration in Ampang) but it was expected that I would move back home when Mummy left so that I can look after dad because hey, I’m the only one still unmarried. But this does not absolve you of your own role and responsibility, this doesn’t mean you can happily and guiltlessly wash your hands off. Did anyone care about what I wanted or if I have any options? Did anyone ask to help apart from Akak? Did anyone ever ask how I’m doing? Did anyone ever enquire how I’m coping or if I am coping at all? Did anyone ever offer to hire a full-time nurse to look after dad? Did anyone realise I have my own life to live too? So don’t begrudge me when I go on my occasional trips. I have my own life to live too and I’m not going to put my life on hold. Don’t talk about sacrifices and consideration and responsibility when you haven’t even demonstrated a shred of any of that. He’s not just my father but yours too. So before anyone points a finger at me, think of the four fingers pointing back at you.

In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you, my two dear readers, could please pray for my dad’s recovery. Thank you.

Tired, Tried And Tested

The past few weeks have been testing, tiring and trying. First of, my sister had a major surgery. I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t help care for her in her recovery. I only managed to visit her with some black fish essence and then bought some body support for her. Still, I was worried and prayed hard for her speedy recovery.

Then last Tuesday, my dad had chest pains. He went to the clinic and was advised to go to the hospital. He went home, took some under-the-tongue medication and was sweating profusely later in the same afternoon. My neighbour decided to call an ambulance for him and I got home in time to accompany him to Hospital Ampang. He started displaying symptoms which I later learnt were normal of someone suffering from prostrate problems. They ran some tests on him and after a four-hour wait, he was cleared to go home. I did ask if it would be better for him to be admitted instead so that the doctor and nurses could have him under observation but was told there was no need for him to be admitted.

We got home at close to midnight and I spent the next hour cleaning up (he threw up and I had to wash the floor mat too), clearing away the half-peeled garlic on the dining table, clearing up and storing dishes in the fridge, bringing out the rubbish (the collectors come very early on the designated mornings) and last but not least, folding clothes and storing them. I had to take emergency leave to monitor him on Wednesday.

On Friday evening, he started having problems urinating. He would go to the bathroom every 20 minutes or so and he couldn’t sleep as he kept having to get up. On Saturday, I checked online resources and suspected he had prostrate problems so I checked the over-the-counter options before going to the pharmacy. His situation worsened on Sunday where he had the urge to urinate every 15 minutes. Finally in the evening, I told him we should go to the hospital but he was afraid if he would need to urinate when we were on the way and decided to go instead on Monday. He then said that he felt better but was feeling pain in another part. Seriously, I was at my wit’s end by then.

On Monday, my neighbour helped drive him to the clinic. The doctor gave some medication and we went back only for dad to remember that he forgot to tell the doctor about his enlarged tummy, on the right-hand side. So again we had to ask our neighbour to help rush him to the clinic (the clinic closes during lunchtime at 13:00. Yes, how inconvenient). The doctor did a simple ultrasound and said there was a lump. I felt like fainting then. He said he couldn’t do anything and urge us to go to the hospital. He suggested Hospital Ampang reasoning there was no need to go to expensive Ampang Puteri hospital. I then rang my sister to ask her opinion. I just felt so alone and helpless and incapable of deciding.

We left for Ampang Puteri after 15:00 and were at the emergency area by 15:15. I had to wheel him around with one shoulder toting the bag which I’d packed in case he had to be admitted. He was attended to shortly and the staff stuck a tube so that he could urinate into the tube. Before long, the tube had filled up.

A nurse helped wheeled him to the ultrasound area. I had to wait outside. Then we went up to the urologist clinic and had to wait about an hour before the doctor saw us. He was thorough in his explanation. He also said that dad could go home. When I asked if it would be better for dad to just be admitted for observation, he said there was no need to do so. He then set an appointment for next Tuesday.

I went to perform prayers before settling the bill, collecting the prescribed medicine and then waiting for the Grab driver to come collect us. We were home by 19:15.

Yesterday, dad complained that the bag seemed empty, the urine didn’t seem to flow into it. I really had no idea and was clueless. My sister came later in the morning and took him back to Ampang Puteri. It turned out there’s a switch at the tube and it was locked hence preventing the urine from flowing into the bag. Like duh. My sister then brought dad back to her house, yes, in her still recuperating condition. It’s a good thing my nieces are around to help.

As for my brothers, the less I said about them, the better.

Dear Allah, it’s been such a testing, trying and tiring time alright.

A Short Trip

I had been planning this trip since September following a tip from my colleague. I decided to make the trip last Saturday as I already had plans for my weekends up to then.

I had wanted to leave micasa at 07:15 (yes!) but I only managed to leave half an hour later. I just about managed to catch the bus as it was leaving the station to the city hall. From there, I walked to Puduraya. I knew there are direct buses going to where I was heading (fare at RM10) but as none was at the platform yet, I decided to ride the bus to Seremban first and changing buses there. And it was a good decision for the bus departed within five minutes. The fare to Seremban was RM6.

We reached Seremban an hour later at 09:30. I was directed to the Bahau-bound bus stand (when I looked closely, the bus at the next bus stand would also stop at Kuala Pilah). I had just missed the 09:20 bus (the bus was at 10:00). The advertised fare was RM6.xx to Bahau (so it could be less for Kuala Pilah)and as I only had RM4 in small change, I went to ask some counters if they could break my note but no one was willing to help. I turned back and a chap asked me where I was heading. I said, ‘Kuala Pilah,’ and he told me the bus he was selling tickets for (Gopi Bus) was heading there. And the fare was exactly RM4. The bus left within a couple of minutes so I was lucky again.

We pulled into Kuala Pilah bus station less than an hour later. It turned out that it was a good decision to depart when I did as the shops were only opening. I walked to the main road, Jalan Dato’, and walked along it to visit the gold shops there. Like I said before, it was still early morning but there were already quite a few customers at the shops. And guess what, the gold there is only RM169/gram! Lower than in KB!

There were perhaps half a dozen shops in total so I didn’t spend too long there. I ventured to the market and Masjid Jamek Yamtuan Raden before turning back. I noticed two shops selling pet food and bought some cat food at the second shop before returning to the bus station just before noon. I bought a ticket for a bus to KL and as the bus was only due at 12:30, I went to check out the farmers’ market down a flight of stairs from the bus station. The sellers were mainly packing up then.

A couple of local sleepyheads

Must say the town is pretty well-linked

Our bus came early and we left at 12:28. Despite lagging behind some lorries, we managed to reach Seremban by 13:30. Unfortunately, those of us bound for KL had to change buses. The bus to KL was due to depart at 13:40 but left a couple of minutes later no thanks to last-minute passengers. And where I was lucky before, I was not as lucky on the return leg. The traffic out of Seremban was a nightmare! It didn’t help that we had to pass some traffic lights and junctions. We only entered the highway at 14:10 and then we had to endure another slow-moving traffic trying to enter KL. While it was an hour-long trip to Seremban, it was a 90-minute trip back to KL and it made me wonder why everyone was heading for KL.

Despite this, I will be back. Not so soon though as I have to wait until I’m flush and it must be outside of school holidays and festive seasons. Not in January-March, maybe not April either. May and June are fasting and Eid months so it might be in July 2018. My birthday month, how apt! Oh well, I’m in no hurry (I just hope the gold price will hold on until then!). Although there is that stupid traffic nightmare out of Seremban to endure all over again, it still beats any bus trip to KB.