Two
years and a fortnight on since I wrote this post and I still feel depressed at the state of
Malaysia and Malaysians. Our manners and courtesy have not improved; in fact,
we seem to have deteriorated. There are still an overwhelmingly many of us who
have not learnt how to dispose of our rubbish thoughtfully, who lack basic
courtesy and consideration to others, who think it’s OK to gorge on our fast
food and leave the tray and rubbish behind because hey otherwise the workers
there won’t have anything to do, right? There are those of us who think that
just because we have money to shop, it’s OK to dump those items we’ve decided
not to buy or check out where they don’t belong (certainly not where we took
them from in the first place), reasoning that the sales assistants could return
those items to right rack or shelves because surely it’s what they are paid to
do. And don’t get me started on the shopping trolleys left haphazardly at the
parking. There are those of us who think nothing of leaving our empty soft
drink and popcorn containers behind in the theatres because after all the
theatre operators hire foreign workers to do all that, right? Yes, of course
they do but can’t we stop and think of how poor our manners are, how lacking in
courtesy we are, how inconsiderate we are to the next customers, how badly we
are behaving, and how it all reflect to how poor, rightly or wrongly, we have
been raised?
We
have not learnt to be more open-minded and more accepting of feedback either.
We do not and cannot accept that we are in any way flawed in our thinking and
behaviour. We retort back angrily when we are reminded of our civic duty and in
fact demand that the person who take the trouble to remind us to mind his own
business. We do not take kindly to constructive feedback – far be it for us to
thank the person for trying to help us improve ourselves – because we do not
consider we are in any way in need of reminders. We think we are wise enough,
experienced enough, have seen enough of the world, and have done enough to be
receiving advice or constructive feedback from others. We are too proud to
think that we can still grow and that we can still improve as a person. We do
not see it as a gift when someone decides to tell us unpleasant truths about
ourselves. Well, that someone probably feels uncomfortable too but decided to
be honest. It does take a lot of guts to be able to tell someone something s/he
may not like to hear even if it’s the truth. We mostly listen to reply, not to
understand.
We
have too much pride to accord others respect. We think we are better than our
elders. We look down on those who seem to have less. We judge others on their
outward appearance. We aren’t happy when others have a different view – while at
the same time we get annoyed if others disagree with our view. We do not
realise or seem to have forgotten that pride will be our downfall and that pride
has a negative aspect especially if it leads one to believe and act as if one
is better, superior and more important than others, to fail to acknowledge
others’ accomplishments, to fail to accept one’s faults and limitations. I’m
not saying it’s wrong to have pride; for example, it is OK to have pride in one’s
country, national team, athletes, and in another person (being proud of someone
close’s achievement).
When
did we get so arrogant and selfish and self-centred? And why did we think that
being arrogant, selfish, self-centred, self-involved and narcissistic is fine?
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