Wow,
it has been some time since my last post. The World Cup had begun and ended
with its share of dramas and Ramadan had commenced too. I was not looking
forward to the World Cup at all – I didn’t like the idea of Brazil hosting the
tournament. I don’t like Brazilian football and have never supported Brazil in
any World Cup. So this was the first World Cup which games I never bothered
getting up for (I used to get up for my football vigils in previous editions of
World Cup and Euro tournaments). The only two or three matches I watched involved
Germany of course which I’ve been supporting since way back when and even then,
I slept through the alarm and didn’t catch two of their matches. And after
years of supporting them, I was only too happy when they won. It had been a
long time since their last win.
As
usual, I was not looking forward to Ramadan (or rather the sacrifice of an hour
of sleep) but once it’s here, I’m fine. The hectic month I call it where I try
to squeeze as much as I can into limited hours. Besides the usual non-Ramadan
routine and chores, most of us rise earlier for our pre-dawn meal and try squeeze
in more ibadah. I’m trying to finish reciting the Quran as usual, insyaAllah and
alhamdulillah I’m on track there. Reading takes a backseat in this month but I try
to squeeze in where possible. Come to think of it, I’m not sure which I look
less forward to between Ramadan and Syawal. I hate that Syawal has become too
commercialised and that most people think that it’s ok to celebrate Eid for a month
just because they fast a month in Ramadan. And I especially hate that there are
those who still don’t repent and spread even more fitnah in Ramadan.
Then
there was the MH17 tragedy last week. I must confess that there have been times
on my way to work when I spot planes flying too low (in my opinion) when I wonder
‘What if this plane blows up? What happens if it crashes?’ (yes, I have morbid
thoughts so sue me). And to think that one was actually shot down... I felt
speechless with numb and shock. So soon after MH370 too. But it’s not going to
deter me from flying and travelling. When my time comes, I would die anywhere anytime anyhow anyway.
I
wanted to travel somewhere around my birthday and I’m one of those who don’t
think Ramadan hinders travelling, I’ve never let Ramadan stop me from
travelling that is, but the thought of braving the crowd at the airports
(originating and destination airports) on my outbound and return trip wasn’t
appealing and besides the World Cup was ending and I wanted to watch the final
few matches if I could. But I did manage a day trip to Ipoh and had a sauna
time along its heritage trail.
And
now Syawal is almost upon us... I have never been one to go all out and
celebrate Eid like there’s no tomorrow. There has always been something that
dampens my Eid experience, be it brothers who suddenly descend after long
periods of absence and silence like the prodigal sons, annoying sisters-in-law
and irritating extended nieces and nephews. It’s a back-breaking effort trying
to get the house into order before, during AND after Eid and it doesn’t help
that Abah is oblivious to the mess he leaves behind and the effort I take to
clear the mess.
I
still miss Mummy and wonder if I will ever stop missing her. Probably not ever.
Yes, I know life goes on and I must go on living – she would want me to – but it
still hurts at times.
I
have been thinking again of late of making a will and getting my worldly
affairs in order. In truth, I’ve been thinking of this for the past 7-8 years
(yes and still haven’t done anything about it!). Asked C in mid-June if she had any
suggestions and a few days later, a lady from Amanah Raya called me. Went to
see her last Friday to see my options and insyaAllah I will make up my mind and
get it done soon.
I
have also been busy researching some destinations and insyaAllah will be
stepping on those soils soon (and not so soon) insyaAllah.
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