Addicted

A fortnight ago, I actually wondered what it is like to be a compulsive gambler. Now, I reckon a compulsive gambler would be gambling away his money, possession and even his pride. He’d be tempted to continue gambling because he believes, rather foolishly, that his luck will change, that he will hit the jackpot if he places just one more bet even though he knows he can ill afford to pay his existing debts. The situation is worse if he has to resort to borrowing from loan sharks to pay off his debts because he would be constantly looking over his shoulders, be cautious to walk alone in public places lest he be recognised by the loan sharks or their ruthless followers, and generally be fearing for his life.

I’m no gambler but I have my own weakness: I stray and get involved with random strangers (don’t I sound promiscuous!) by joining new online Scrabble games even though I am already playing a few games (I’m currently playing 16 games simultaneously). Oh, there are similarities between a gambler and a Scrabbler, I can assure you. By gambling, a gambler keeps adding to his debts; by joining new games, I keep adding to the games I have to play. A gambler would need to be one step ahead of his pursuers (loan sharks); I have to keep one step ahead of all those I’m playing against. A gambler over-commits himself (and make empty promises) in order to get another extension from his creditors; I over-commit myself to my opponents.

And for a while that day a fortnight ago, I wondered if what I was suddenly feeling was what a gambler feels like as he tries to escape from his creditors because at one point, I felt a bit panicky - as if I have got myself involved in too many debts and over-committed myself – and I questioned my decision to join new games when I still had games outstanding.

Just like an addicted gambler, I think I’m an addicted Scrabbler. (But not to worry, Adek has yet to have dreams playing Scrabble or visuals while performing prayers – which she had when she was addicted to Tetris previously).