Things I Don’t Understand

Why do people have to make an issue out of something as simple as how one chooses to have one’s meal? I was at a wedding (Malay) very recently and my colleagues and I opted to use cutlery instead of using our hands. Then a couple and two ladies joined our table. They returned from the buffet table with their food and cutlery but one of them (who had to sit next to me) then decided she wanted to use her hand after all and announced it to all and sundry, saying ‘Oh, I think I’ll use my hand. We are Malays anyway.’ Her mate across the table replied, ‘Yea, I think I’ll do the same too. It’ll be more comfortable,’ (they said all this in Malay, of course) and the third lady also followed suit (she was either a ‘copy cat’ or felt similarly uncomfortable with using utensils but didn’t feel the need to broadcast it or both). All this after they had gotten the utensils onto the food (so the poor caterer would still need to wash those hardly-used cutlery).

I sat there quietly eating my food and thinking, what the heck. Who cared if you wanted to use your hand but you didn’t have to announce it so loudly and tactlessly as if to make those of us who used cutlery to actually feel uncomfortable with our choice. After all, cutlery was provided at the two buffet tables and the pot-and-container for hand-washing was also available at each table. Heck, even the husband to the lady who made the first broadcast ate with his cutlery! And besides, does it make those of us who eat with the provided cutlery snobs or any less Malays/Malaysians than those who opted to eat with their hands?

Oh and that reminds me to those times when people actually had to comment when they see me eating my noodle meals with my chopsticks. I mean, like so bloody what? My usual reply to that is ‘I’m a Malaysian.’ But really, why do I even need to reply as if in defense of my choice in cutlery and why is there even a need to comment in the first place?

~~~~~~~~

Why do some people like to clip or trim their nails in public? I think it’s very disgusting. I mean it’s not sanitary, not cultured and just plain gross. Didn’t anyone ever tell them that clipping one’s blinking nails is something one does at home in the bathroom with the door closed? I don’t appreciate having to listen to people go clip, clip, clip, clipping their nails. C’mon, with all the scratching, digging, plucking, fingernails are surely vile reservoirs for dirt and germs for most people! So unless you’re in the bathroom or in a nail salon, clipping your nails in public is really bad taste!

I also can’t understand why, oh why, why do some people keep their nails (fingernails or toenails) long and not bother to clean them? It’s so disgusting to look down and see someone’s long and dirty toenails poking out. God, it’s only basic hygiene surely and yet people neglect trimming and clipping their nails. I don’t care if anyone wants to keep her nails long, just make sure they’re clean and properly filed.

And yes, powdering one’s face or reapplying one’s lipstick in public is totally acceptable (not that I do it).

~~~~~~~~

Why do people always have to make a remark, comment or ask when they see me carry my brolly around? Isn’t it obvious enough that a brolly is to protect oneself from the sun and rain? In tropical Malaysia where we get regular torrential rain, most people seem to think brollies are only for protection against the rain.

I picked up the habit of carrying the brolly around on my second visit to Tokyo and thought a good practice like that should be continued. But no, here it’s almost a foreign concept to be walking with your brolly when the sun is out, never mind that it is blazing an unbearable 36C and you’re walking without any sunscreen protection. So now when people ask me (stupidly) why I carry my brolly, I reply sweetly, ‘To protect against the UV,’ which is true anyway. Actually my brolly does more than that: it helps to protect me from would-be snatch thieves, shields me from bird droppings and it can even be used as a self-defense tool.

By the way, I also picked up the habit of carrying a hand-held fan in Tokyo. I did carry it with me on a few occasions here in sweltering KL but there were too many smart alecks making comments about it that I just can’t be bothered to carry it anymore (OK, maybe I’m a coward for not sticking to it and letting what other people say sway my decision but I really can’t be bothered to listen to their stupid remarks).

I mean, really, why can’t people just let others be?!

~~~~~~~~

Why aren’t our men more gentlemanly? Why can’t they open doors, hold the doors open (instead of letting it slam in our faces), offer to carry our groceries, etc? You don’t do it because I’m a lady; you do it because you’re a gentleman. If you can’t even do it for your mother or female siblings, then I fear you’re a lost cause already. Yes, so women demanded equal rights but that didn’t mean that men have to stop being gentlemen. After all, you’re gifted with strength and muscles and (brains too). I had on a few occasions had to struggle under the weight of my groceries before biting my tongue and asking my friend if he could help me with them. But in England, my British friends would rush and actually grab my things to help carry them, without me having to request for their help.

~~~~~~~~

Why do people have to comment on other people’s weight, height, skin colour, ethnic background and clothing? It’s never-ending: I’m not thin enough, I’m not fat enough, I’m not dark enough, I’m not fair enough, I’m not Malay enough and yes, I don’t wear traditional clothes (read that to mean I don’t wear my baju kurung or kebaya) to office often enough. But so what? As long as I’m happy with what and who I am and how I dress and as long as what I wear is decent, not revealing and reflect myself as a Muslim, so what? It’s not as if I wear short, tight hot pants or revealing mini skirts or body-hugging clothes to work like some people actually do (and for that, even I want the fashion police to arrest them for not having enough fashion sense).

Oh, there are so many things that I don’t understand (and not sure if I ever will) but let’s just stop at that for now.