Stunned Stunt

This could be a funny account of a real-life experience, if only it’s not also embarrassing and a bit scary.

It happened yesterday morning. My colleague and I were hunched over my computer when I felt a desperate need to take a break. So I hurried over to the washroom and went into the second cubicle (the first was occupied), despite knowing that the latch was broken since Monday. I slid the bar across to lock the cubicle and even then I remember thinking, ‘What if I can’t slide the bar to open the door later?’ only to have my inner voice say, ‘We’ll worry about that later.’

And oh yes, I mean, oh no, that was exactly what happened: I couldn’t slide the bar to open the door. I tried to calm myself and looked around to see what I could do. Then I called out to the person in the first cubicle (I was beginning to wonder if there really was anyone in there for it was quiet – no sound of water coming from the water hose, no tissue pulled and no flush heard – unless of course she was daydreaming (?!) or reading some magazine in there) and shortly after she answered my call. I explained to her that I was trapped in my cubicle and that I was going to attempt climbing over into the third cubicle (which was a sit-down rather than a squat-down cubicle) to save myself for I saw no other escape route. She said she was almost done but to my surprise, she left the washroom. And I was hoping she’d help give me a hand.

Thankfully it was the peak time for washroom visits and bladder-clearing and three other mates stepped in. I explained my predicament again and told them my idea of escape. One suggested calling a chap to come over; another suggested trying to work the door open with a screwdriver (not sure where she could find one). I told them I’d just try out my plan first and if I failed, by all means, seek help!

So I stepped on the tap on the right side of the cubicle on one foot and swung over my other foot onto the tissue holder on the left side of the cubicle and gingerly tested if it could bear my weight (the plastic cover that holds the tissue in place in that very cubicle was acting up on Friday and kept snapping itself open), all the while pushing myself against the right wall to balance myself.

I had to try this at least three times because the gap between the cubicle wall (thank God there was a gap at all and thank God I decided to wear trousers yesterday) and the ceiling was not large and even if I managed to hoist myself up, I’d have to crouch on the ledge (and do a Bend It Like Beckham and a body Twist And Shout) while I hang on for dear life, catch my breath and plot my next move. My mates offered advices, suggestions and words of encouragement and finally, I managed to somehow swing myself over and lay unmoving horizontally on the ledge (I had lined the ledge with tissue papers so as not to dirty myself and clothes). I had by then removed my shoes and handed them over to a mate for safekeeping.

My initial plan was to find my footing on the water closet but it was too far down. Thankfully the tissue holder in the third cubicle was also on the right side of the cubicle so I carefully jumped lightly down (how do you jump lightly down anyway?) and quickly placed another foot on the closed lid of the toilet.

And I was safe and back on the ground, albeit a bit shaken, embarrassed (how would I explain to my ‘knight’ who came marching to rescue me of how I got into the mess in the first place?) and somewhat stunned that I managed to do such acrobatic moves. Yes, for a while, I felt like a Catwoman, Spiderwoman and Superwoman (not a Bat Girl though) all rolled into one.

I can so be a stuntgirl now!