Achy Breaky Parts

I started last Saturday morning as usual by labouring over the household chores before rewarding myself with some pampering. Went for a body massage, then a facial and did a bit of shopping before heading back to HQ. Oh and I signed up for some credit cards too. Apparently I’d be getting both MasterCard and VISA free for life from the world’s local bank. A colleague just informed that the points collected using the bank’s cards will expire if not redeemed within a certain duration so am not sure now if I should still go ahead and terminate my current card [which points do not expire].

Now let me elaborate more on the new massage package I signed up for. Besides the usual body scrub, steaming session and body massage, this package includes seaweed wrap. I don’t know about you but when I first heard about it, I couldn’t help thinking that I’d be lying on a bed all wrapped up like a Miss California. Miss California Temaki, more like! As it turned out, a seaweed wrap is when the masseuse dabs your almost-naked self with seaweed paste, wrapped you up sans your head in transparent plastic before bundling you in a thermal blanket.

My first experience in that seaweed wrap started off all fine and dandy and I was even chuckling at my thought of being a California Temaki. Then after a while, I started getting hot all over [no thanks to the blanket and being bundled up in layers!]. A morbid thought then crossed my mind, ‘My God, what if the building’s on fire? How do I save myself?’ and unwittingly I had an image of myself all wrapped up and unable to move – I could not even move my hands! – trying desperately to save myself by jumping off the bed and somehow using my bound self to slide the door open. Of course, since I’m all wrapped up, I won’t be indecently exposed but oh the sight I must be in! And since my legs are also all bound up in the blanket, the only way I could move is by hopping like some ghost. OK, I had a wild imagination alright that day!

As I said, I was progressively getting all hot in that thermal blanket. And perspiration started rolling down my face but I couldn’t wipe it off as my hands were in the blanket. As I couldn’t move any part of my body from neck down, I had to wipe off the perspiration by rubbing my head against the towel wrapped around my neck, yes, the very towel that contributed further to my feeling hot and sweaty. Still, I dislike steaming more.

And you may wonder what good this seaweed wrap is. Well, apparently it is to detoxify your body. It also helps to remove dead skin cells and promote blood circulation. For more on seaweed wrap and why seaweed is used as a wrap procedure, check this out. Try it and see if your imagination will run riot like mine. Heh.

I had a different masseuse last Saturday. I went for the body scrub but didn’t go for steaming as there was a chap in there. I could have leaped in joy there and then [I can only stand steaming for five minutes tops]. Instead, after showering off the body scrub, I went for a hydrobath. That was fun. Basically, you just soak yourself in the tub with water jets swirling bubbles of water over your body. I found the water a tad hot at first and only gingerly lowered myself into the tub. The masseuse set 20 minutes for my hydrobath. Seaweed wrap came next but this time around, I could only tolerate it for 15 minutes before calling out to the masseuse to stop. She felt my forehead and seemed so worried, you know, just like I was already running a temperature. And for a while, I actually thought I was too as she did seem that panicked. She told me not to get up just yet and to cool myself off first for a few minutes.

After showering off the seaweed paste, my masseuse then proceeded to massage me. And boy was she strong – as all my previous masseuses were! Seriously, I don’t know how they did it. So instead of enjoying it as I did on my earlier visit [my previous masseuse was strong but her techniques did not punish me], this time I was grimacing and my face contorted this way and that as I tried to contain the pain. It hurt so much, I was also screaming out aloud silently. Maybe I am too pampered but heck, I thought a massage is supposed to relieve your muscular pains, to heal, relieve stress and improve circulation, and not leave you with achy, breaky body parts at the end of it!

I swear I left the centre in more pain than when I arrived. And I was still in pain until late that Saturday Night. I sure hope the masseuse for my next visit will be gentler and have more mercy on me.