Adek's Pet Peeves

Tell me why I don't like Mondays
Tell me why I don't like Mondays
I don't like I don't like I don't like Mondays
Tell me why I don't like Mondays
I wanna shoot the whole day down, down, down
Shoot it all down

~~~~~~~~~~

Now with that kind of opening line, it seems fitting to break the monotony of today with a list of Adek's Pet Peeves. Mind you, it's pretty long but laced with choice quotations to, er, make it a more interesting read [to anyone interested that is]. And here it goes, in no chronological/priority order:

1. People who announce they're busy, busy, busy with work out loud all around the office. They go around moaning about how busy they are to all and sundry. As if they are the only ones with work. The rest of us work for a living too ok. And besides, it's not as if anyone cares to listen anyway. They are such an insecure breed that they have to go around justifying their pathetic, miserable existence. Socrates couldn't have put it more succinctly when he said, 'Beware the bareness of a busy life.' It's all I can do at times to stop myself from saying sarcastically, For Crying Out Loud, you still have time to moan it out loud!

2. People who always punctuate their sentences with 'You know what I mean/what I'm saying?' or anything to that effect. This never fails to irritate me. Sometimes I'll roll my eyes, put on my blank expression and asked them to repeat it or ask them to explain it. Heck, for I do not necessarily know what you mean, you idiot. We may be on the same page but we could be at different paragraphs. I'm not clairvoyant nor can I read your mind, and I'm not interested in being able to do either or both.

3. People who ask when I'm going to get married/settle down. Well, I don't know either. If I ever get a Euro for the number of times I've been asked that, I'll be able to open a wedding fund and finance my wedding reception. Really. And it's not as if they will contribute to the reception or even the dowry, right? So please. Stop asking me because your guess is as good as mine. Would marriage make my life better or less Complicated? It's not the cure-all surely. I'm happy With Or Without You for now [whoever 'you' are] and happiness is not dependent on my marital status. And besides, even Emerson said: 'Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?'

4. People who claim to be related to some VIP or who drop names of people they supposedly know. To be honest, That Don't Impress Me Much because I really don't care. I'm not impressed with the people you claim to know. Nor am I impressed with your having to resort to that pathetic act in order to get my attention. As Plutarch pointed out, 'It is certainly desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors, not to us.'

5. People who don't hold the door for you [including the lift]. Please, it's only basic courtesy and good social etiquette. You don't do it because I'm a lady, but because you're a gentleman. And if you happen to be another girl, why should you slam the door in my face when holding it open for me will only earn you good points? I also hate it when people, especially those of the stronger sex, don't offer to carry their lady friend's groceries. Just because women asked for more rights doesn't mean you have to stop being a (gentle)man.

6. People who brag. Of everything under the sun. Of their spouse. Their children. In-laws [yes I know one or two who do]. Career. House. Car. It's like being at primary school again and you have this insecure classmate who simply has to compare her pencil case with others. And to what end? To feel better that your daddy can afford you better stationeries? We get the same education at the end of the day and it's up to each of us how to make good of our time at school. Sadly, there are people who never grow up and still brag, despite having left school for some time. Grow up! And get a life. Please, for the sake of the rest of us still suffering in this world. We will all be placed in the same sized graves and leave all our worldly possessions when we die anyway. So really, it's pointless to brag.

7. People who have no Respect for other people. They jump the queue, push you aside for no apparent reason as they elbow past you. Also include drivers who don't give any signal when slowing down, turning, etc, and who don't extend any courtesy to fellow drivers or pedestrians. Really, don't their parents/teachers teach them etiquette? I've had the unpleasant task of having to pointing it out to these idiots a few times. Surely it's embarassing to be told off like you're still a child? If yes, please, have Respect for others even if you don't have Respect for yourself. It's not much to ask for, surely? Oh, what a miserable place the world has come to if people can't Respect each other. Surely even a life-and-death matter doesn't warrant such a rude behaviour? It's fascinating how respectful Koreans, Thai and Japanese still are to each other [and not just to the elders]. Don't get me wrong, I like how the the point Western people are but don't tell me being respectful is old-fashioned! Btw, this includes Respect for time - I especially hate being made to wait for people who can't seem to Respect time - and Respect for promises made. Yes, Respect encompasses a wide range of etiquette subjects to me.

8. People who talk loudly into their cell phones. OMG, they are like walking TV announcers or sth. No regard whatsoever to people around them. These type of people think they're too important and the others to be beneath them and so they must talk loudly to drive that point home. Try talking into your cell phone when riding any Tokyo subway and you'd be inviting frowns from your fellow passengers. That's how sensitive and considerate they are to other people's comforts. Boy, we still have a long way before we ever reach first world country and citizen status.

9. Know-it-all homo sapiens, who by extension also think they are Simply The Best. Conversations with them is normally a monologue of having to listen painfully to their repeated account of how important they are, how much they know, etc [There's nothing you can throw at me, That I haven't already heard]. All they can talk about is 'Me, me, me', i.e. their really boring selves. You'd think that these know-it-all nerds would've pondered the words of Plato's 'You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation' or even Dale Carnegie's 'You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you', but sadly, no!

10. Callers who instead of identifying who they are and who they want to speak to, demand to know who you are. That's not how it works dude: the caller identifies himself, not the other was around. Like, Hello... (is it me you're looking for?!)! Ok I do that too, ONLY if I call my parents' place and an unfamiliar voice answers. Like last Saturday. Turned out that my nieces and nephew were there and were coming over to give me a surprise!

11. Scrooges, misers, cheapskates and calculative people who are too cheap or stingy with money. We live only once sweetie and while I agree you must set aside some for the future, don't tell me you don't deserve a little luxury from time to time! I know someone whose husband bought her a good watch and, get this, she only wears it once a year during the festive season. How sad! You should enjoy your hard-earned money [and presents received] while you still live 'cause you're gonna leave it all to your squabbling family when you kick the bucket anyway. [The same person is also very calculative so much so that she can advise you the cheapest dental floss per metre on the market. And no, I'm not kidding.] And please, do yourself a favour and buy good, original stuff please. Surely you deserve that to cheap, black market fake imitations. How can you feel good and proud of youself when there are holes in your socks, you sport a fake watch and carry a fake Louis Vuitton? As I've said before, brandless items are much preferable to fake, darling. At least you're not being pretentious.

12. Snotty, insistent, overbearing [and sometimes domineering] salespeople. Some look you up and down as you enter and either proceed with their awful habit of shadowing you - I always feel like stopping mid-way so that they'd bump into me, haha! - or not budge from their seat [I don't mind this, leave me in peace. If I need help, I'll know who to ask from]. Some have the bad habit of rearranging the things you just touched [man, this really irritates me, after all that's why we go to shop anyway, right? To view, hold and feel the product. Otherwise it's better to shop online where you definitely can't touch and feel the product!] Some insist their products are superior to others [I encounter them mainly in pharmacies, trying to outdo each other in promoting their products]. Some couldn't even be bothered to smile at you but the minute a Caucasian steps in, are all over him/her - even if he/she looks dishevelled and is clad in the shabbiest outfit. Talk about prejudice!

13. People who talk about money, how much they have, make, inherit or anything to that effect. It's so not elegant and vulgar. I really don't give a toss about how much money you have.

Phew, that's a long one! Don't say I didn't warn you!