Desperate

This will be my last posting for a while as I'm Leaving On A Jetplane to somewhere Tonight, God willing with my good mate, Lin. And to those who ask, If You Don't Know Me By Now (You will never never never know me) please Respect my not wanting to disclose my trip destination. Besides, it's not as if anyone's going to offer me a lift to the airport anyway.

Had a panic attack whilst packing last night. Now, it's normal for me to pack the night before any trip - and it's Always a calming task - but since it's the first time I'm leaving from my residence and not from my parents', well, I somehow couldn't locate some stuff which I'm pretty sure I've brought over. As a result, much time was wasted searching for them. On top of it, I couldn't seem to charge my camera battery. Not sure whether it's the charger that's faulty or the battery. Good thing I discovered this last night so will have to try see if I can get it fixed during lunch-time. Please God, please let whatever is faulty be fixed, be it the battery or the charger. And please don't let the cost be exorbitant. Please, please, please God, I beseech You [all are welcome to Save A Prayer for me: I need all the prayers I can get, I'm that Desperate!].


(now, does that look Desperate to you? No? I thought not too!)


(there, that looks better!)

Will be on half day later today but have errands to run including the new one that's just cropped up, i.e. to fix the camera battery and/or charger. Next or before that, depending on timing, must get some more dosh converted - see, some money changers are closed during Friday prayers. Then have to pay my credit card bill as don't want to pay interest unnecessarily for late payment [just in case am unable to pay in time upon my return]. May drop by @ Isetan for a short therapy, already know what I wanna get so it'll be a quick one hopefully. Then must hurry back home to tie up loose ends etc etc etc before making my way to the airport.

Everyone else, please stay out of my way. Someone irked me earlier when she commented sth unfair about me to my face and when she was asking me for a favour too! And not a word of thanks too when I managed to sort out her problem. That's gratitude for you for helping people out even when you're having a panic attack and not a very good day so far. Seriously, people like these really get on my nerves.

Arrghhhh...!!!

After The Rain

Not sure if it rained some time last night but as I left home for work this morning, there was a very light drizzle. Missed the bus but as I reached the bus stop, I was rewarded instead with a beautiful sight of not one, but two rainbows! The sight of these simple nature phenomenon never fails to awe me. Although it has been raining regularly of late, the last time I saw one was months ago. I sat rooted to the spot, admiring the rainbows and marvelling at the fine display of life's simple pleasures.

My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky.

- Wordsworth, My Heart Leaps Up

I could see the end of the small rainbow, arching high above and stretching into the distance that looked deceptively near. The bigger, less clear rainbow twin disappeared soon after. Took out my magazine and proceeded to read and when I looked up again just a mere few minutes later, the smaller rainbow had vanished out of sight too.

To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,

To throw a perfume on the violet,

Unto the rainbow, or with taper-light

To seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish,

Is wasteful and ridiculous excess.

- William Shakespeare, King John

I was reminded of how Lucky I was to be rewarded such glorious sight, enough to make me forget my worldly problems. Thank you, God. With such a glorious start, it should be a Lovely Day ahead. Amen.

Boy, am I glad I missed the first bus!

Bonjour Paris!

Another early start for me today. Woke just after 4 am to catch the last crucial, nail-biting 20 minutes or so of the second leg match of the Redcurrants and the Yellow Submarines. And it was probably good that I didn't wake any earlier and sacrifice my beauty sleep as the Yellow Submarines clearly dominated the game. Almost had a premature cardiac arrest as I watched the game being played while alternating between watching the clock, praying hard for the Gunners to make some real macho attacks, nibbling on chocolates to (hopefully) steady my nerves and cursing the Gunners loudly for their poor [and barely existent] attacking attempts and horrible passing. Talk about being Under Pressure! Really, watching a footie match shouldn't be this stressful.

And then... at the 88th minute, Villareal won a penalty. I couldn't believe it, even the commentators clearly disagreed with this poor decision by the referee.

I have to admit, I didn't watch as Riquelme prepared to take the penalty. I just couldn't. Instead I curled up on the sofa, covered my eyes with both hands - just as what I would do when I watch horror movies - and prayed very, very hard. Please God, if they don't deserve the penalty in the first, then they shouldn't and mustn't score. Heck, it was a horrifying moment.

And all hail Herr Lehmann!!! He saved Argentine Riquelme's poor kick. All rejoiced on the Gunners' side of the El Madrigal stadium and me, having finally risking a peep as the suspense threatened to kill me, rejoiced too albeit rather belatedly of course. Anguish on the Villareal side of the stadium. Well, if you don't deserve it in the first place, you don't. God is fair.

Another 3 minutes added on but it seemed a lifetime. With frayed nerves, my eyes continued to be glued to the screen, willing the clock to tick tick tock faster and (still hoping, heck gotta be optimistic) for the Redcurrants to pose some last-minute threat to Villareal's goalie.

~~~~~~~~

(to the tune of Madonna's Hung Up song)

Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
I don't know what to do

~~~~~~~~

Three minutes later: the whistle was finally blown! And the Redcurrants had done it somehow (they are just really Lucky, what with the poor performance), sinking the Yellow Submarines to reach their first ever Champions League final. And half a world and several time zones away, yours truly was excitedly jumping and screaming with hands in the air. Will it be AC Milan? Will it be Barcelona? That will be answered in less than 24 hours.

Strange how Arsenal have done remarkably well so far, with clean sheets in this League but struggling in the EPL to even book a fourth placing and secure an automatic spot in next season's Champions League. Anyway, Bonjour The City of Lights!

Failure To Launch

Woke up early on Saturday for house (spring) cleaning. Then it was off for 1 Utama for my date with the celluloid world after months since the last movie outing. Decided to watch two movies - Failure To Launch and Ice Age: The Meltdown. A feel-good time was had after the first movie, which is a kind of a romantic comedy, However, as entertaining as it was, it no way reflects the actual reality of someone single like me. No luck in finding a date with Mr Right Now, let alone Mr Right, Right Now!

Went to Lot 10 yesterday for another pampering. Bumped into Lin at a nearby mall after that. I've bumped into her before on weekends at other shopping malls so it must be that we have similar taste in fashion and malls and not because KL does not have enough stores [although sometimes I simply don't know where else to go for retail therapy!]. Met up another mate after that and had a meal together. As much as I love having my own quality time, oh, it's so good to meet up with girlfriends and have a good chat! We talked about trips - hers and mine, relationships - hers and mine, again - that somehow have more of their shares of Failure To Launch and the possibility of companionship [rather than a relationship]. Someone to accompany us to events and functions - where we need a company of the opposite sex, like weddings and parties - and places like shopping malls, movies, a weekend break... with no strings attached. No commitment. No ties. Just pure innocence. Someone who is, as another blogger terms it, a Convertible Friend. I told her that guys may not feel the same way, they may not be able to view it as that because their ego may not be able to take being just a companion rather than a potential candidate. So maybe we have to look for gays now to accompany us but what if they start oogling at our male friends?! We'll be banned from functions...wait, on second thoughts maybe that isn't necessarily a bad idea.

We went our separate ways after that as I was starting to feel sleepy and wanted to nap. Missed my bus and waited for 30 blinking minutes before another came along. My good friend's sister called me while I was napping, so sweetie if I sounded a little Lost, it was because I was really knackered. She wanted to invite me to her wedding - now that's really sweet and thoughtful of her but man, you know you're so far behind on the relationship front when you start getting invitations to attend a friend's younger sister's wedding! And no date too! Anyone wants to be my companion in June?

My friend said she envies me because I seem to be travelling a lot [not really]. Please, don't envy me. Like I told a colleague before, 'What you have, I don't have. What I have, you don't'. Usually, we can't win it both ways... No, don't envy me because I'm probably a living example of a Failure To Launch.

Was late this morning, waited 45 minutes for the bloody bus and none came. I think they must have all burnt down to metals and rubber or all the drivers have gone on strike or something. Finally cabbed it to work. Arghhhh!

~~~~~~~~

Hey, man I'm alive
I'm taking each day and night at a time
Yeah I'm down, but I know I'll get by
Hey, hey, hey, hey, man I gotta live my life
I'm gonna pick up all the pieces and what's left of my pride
I'm feeling like a Monday but someday I'll be Saturday night

Redcurrants vs Yellow Submarines

Woke up at 4 am this morning to catch the last half hour or so of the above Champions League semi-final match. Arsenal players, clad in their Redcurrant jerseys, had slotted a goal in just minutes before the half time. The Spanish side, in their Yellow Submarine jerseys, displayed solid defence in the second half. I have to admit, the Yellow Submarines were quite well-organised.. Still, I wish the Redcurrants had managed to sink in the Yellow Submarines deeper than the slender lead.

Til next Tueday evening then...

p/s: Btw, this is my 50th blog entry... now why am I keeping count?

Confessions Of A Shopaholic

Emotions running amok!

~~~~~~~~

Guess what? My credit card provider just called me yesterday... to inform that my credit card has been cloned YET AGAIN!!! This is the 4th or 5th time it's happened. I'm both amused and amazed that this has continually happened to me. You'd think it's more secure now that everyone's moved to chip-based cards but no, apparently it isn't so. I'm positive I hold the record for the Most Cloned Credit Cardholder! Thankfully there's no sale on the horizon [well, until next weekend that is... Yes, I am the reference point for sales news - which stores are having sales, duration of sales etc. And my friend just declared me The Epitome of Shopping Queen]. Anyway, I should be able to get my replacement card by mid of next week [it'd better be couriered by next Wednesday or I shall cease to be amused].

You may wonder why I haven't just cancelled the card and switched to another credit card provider. Well, I would have but I'm quite pleased with the services provided thus far - except for the occasional attempt to get me to buy some insurance cover the provider is tied up with and transfer of credit card balance [I don't believe in transferring debt from one basket to another, besides it doesn't come free I'm sure] - and it's been pretty efficient at detecting anomaly in my spending to suspect that fraud has taken place. My credit card was once detected supposedly used at two different pump stations in a city of a neighbouring state and the time difference between the fill-up was only a few hours, which doesn't make any sense at all. Plus, I don't drive.

I know of some lady whose card was cloned and the fraudster actually bought attires and toiletries unique to men [she's single too]. Her credit card provider not only never called her to notify of this strange, unusual splurging but even insisted she pay the whole amount. So really, I wouldn't really change my credit card provider just yet. Thankfully, I don't have that many standing instructions made against my card.

~~~~~~~~

I attended a meeting this morning and all of a sudden, just as the preliminary small talk had been done with and we were ready to move to The Big Issue at hand, my tummy started growling. Rumble, mumble, growl and howl it went and I quickly looked around to see if anyone noticed and study any change in facial expressions. Shhh, how very embarassing!!! It's a good thing I didn't chair the meeting [now that won't happen for a few years yet] and I was not seated next to the Chairman but still... and this is not the first time my tummy had embarassed me. I've attended a few post-lunch meetings before and the tummy still decided it should start the meeting with a loud grumble [despite the lunch]! And once or twice, someone actually noticed, or rather heard, and gave me a nudge. [And there was once when I was on a date, our first date together too - we went to catch a movie. He offered to buy some snacks which I refused. We were about to settle ourselves down comfortably and my tummy simply had to do its rumble then. Thank God it was dark in the theatre for I had turned very red indeed. And yes, he heard. And he commented on it. But very nicely.] Hey, give me a break, it's beyond my control! It's not as if my mind tells my tummy Let's Get To Rumble and off it goes, rumbling! Help! My professional image is at stake here! I'm convinced my tummy has a mind of its own and it will embarass me if/when it wants/decides to!

~~~~~~~~

I'm feeling mad enough with myself to want to give myself a kick. See, AirAsia is having this irresistible offer and yours truly decided to give it a try [despite no airmiles to be derived]. Yes, this is to be my very first trip aboard AirAsia. So I booked a return ticket for myself and parents yesterday and only noticed this morning that I've somehow overshot the return date from 2 Sept to 22 Sept [only a scatterbrain can do that and I am evidently one]. Argh, opportunity cost again! And anyone who's called or tried calling AirAsia's Call Centre will testify that it's next to Impossible to get through, if ever, and I was cradling the phone for dear life for a quarter of an hour or so before someone attended to me. And as I've had to use the call centre to change my return ticket date, I couldn't benefit from the Internet rates -besides, the price has since rocketed, yes, all in less than 24 hours! - and take this, I have to pay airport taxes again!! [for some reason, the airport tax paid earlier cannot be transferred to the new return date...moan, groan, mumble, grumble!]. And on top of that, I had to use my debit card yesterday as I couldn't use my alternative credit card; apparently I need to sign up for virtual use or sth. So today, I had to borrow a friend's credit card to rectify my silly mistake. Phew, I was very relieved when I finally Hung Up but still want to kick myself all the same! Anyway, Now Everyone Can Fly!

~~~~~~~~~

I'm upset that AC Milan lost to Barcelona this morning - with yummy Maldini, Nesta, Kaka, Inzaghi [who didn't play this morning] in this team, is it any wonder why I want Milan to win instead of Barca? And tonight, or rather tomorrow morning this part of the globe, Arsenal will meet Villareal. Let's hope Arsenal won't play like donkeys as they're sometimes capable of doing.

~~~~~~~~

I'm now Happy, Thankful and full of Joy etc etc etc for my leave application has been approved. I can now go for my Holiday with a Happy heart!

~~~~~~~~

Yes, Emotions are definitiely running amok...! Please Shed A Tear for me.... especially for my AirAsia online purchasing fiasco. Btw, just like Becky Bloomwood, I wish I have my own Luke Brandon too...

Adek's Pet Peeves

Tell me why I don't like Mondays
Tell me why I don't like Mondays
I don't like I don't like I don't like Mondays
Tell me why I don't like Mondays
I wanna shoot the whole day down, down, down
Shoot it all down

~~~~~~~~~~

Now with that kind of opening line, it seems fitting to break the monotony of today with a list of Adek's Pet Peeves. Mind you, it's pretty long but laced with choice quotations to, er, make it a more interesting read [to anyone interested that is]. And here it goes, in no chronological/priority order:

1. People who announce they're busy, busy, busy with work out loud all around the office. They go around moaning about how busy they are to all and sundry. As if they are the only ones with work. The rest of us work for a living too ok. And besides, it's not as if anyone cares to listen anyway. They are such an insecure breed that they have to go around justifying their pathetic, miserable existence. Socrates couldn't have put it more succinctly when he said, 'Beware the bareness of a busy life.' It's all I can do at times to stop myself from saying sarcastically, For Crying Out Loud, you still have time to moan it out loud!

2. People who always punctuate their sentences with 'You know what I mean/what I'm saying?' or anything to that effect. This never fails to irritate me. Sometimes I'll roll my eyes, put on my blank expression and asked them to repeat it or ask them to explain it. Heck, for I do not necessarily know what you mean, you idiot. We may be on the same page but we could be at different paragraphs. I'm not clairvoyant nor can I read your mind, and I'm not interested in being able to do either or both.

3. People who ask when I'm going to get married/settle down. Well, I don't know either. If I ever get a Euro for the number of times I've been asked that, I'll be able to open a wedding fund and finance my wedding reception. Really. And it's not as if they will contribute to the reception or even the dowry, right? So please. Stop asking me because your guess is as good as mine. Would marriage make my life better or less Complicated? It's not the cure-all surely. I'm happy With Or Without You for now [whoever 'you' are] and happiness is not dependent on my marital status. And besides, even Emerson said: 'Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?'

4. People who claim to be related to some VIP or who drop names of people they supposedly know. To be honest, That Don't Impress Me Much because I really don't care. I'm not impressed with the people you claim to know. Nor am I impressed with your having to resort to that pathetic act in order to get my attention. As Plutarch pointed out, 'It is certainly desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors, not to us.'

5. People who don't hold the door for you [including the lift]. Please, it's only basic courtesy and good social etiquette. You don't do it because I'm a lady, but because you're a gentleman. And if you happen to be another girl, why should you slam the door in my face when holding it open for me will only earn you good points? I also hate it when people, especially those of the stronger sex, don't offer to carry their lady friend's groceries. Just because women asked for more rights doesn't mean you have to stop being a (gentle)man.

6. People who brag. Of everything under the sun. Of their spouse. Their children. In-laws [yes I know one or two who do]. Career. House. Car. It's like being at primary school again and you have this insecure classmate who simply has to compare her pencil case with others. And to what end? To feel better that your daddy can afford you better stationeries? We get the same education at the end of the day and it's up to each of us how to make good of our time at school. Sadly, there are people who never grow up and still brag, despite having left school for some time. Grow up! And get a life. Please, for the sake of the rest of us still suffering in this world. We will all be placed in the same sized graves and leave all our worldly possessions when we die anyway. So really, it's pointless to brag.

7. People who have no Respect for other people. They jump the queue, push you aside for no apparent reason as they elbow past you. Also include drivers who don't give any signal when slowing down, turning, etc, and who don't extend any courtesy to fellow drivers or pedestrians. Really, don't their parents/teachers teach them etiquette? I've had the unpleasant task of having to pointing it out to these idiots a few times. Surely it's embarassing to be told off like you're still a child? If yes, please, have Respect for others even if you don't have Respect for yourself. It's not much to ask for, surely? Oh, what a miserable place the world has come to if people can't Respect each other. Surely even a life-and-death matter doesn't warrant such a rude behaviour? It's fascinating how respectful Koreans, Thai and Japanese still are to each other [and not just to the elders]. Don't get me wrong, I like how the the point Western people are but don't tell me being respectful is old-fashioned! Btw, this includes Respect for time - I especially hate being made to wait for people who can't seem to Respect time - and Respect for promises made. Yes, Respect encompasses a wide range of etiquette subjects to me.

8. People who talk loudly into their cell phones. OMG, they are like walking TV announcers or sth. No regard whatsoever to people around them. These type of people think they're too important and the others to be beneath them and so they must talk loudly to drive that point home. Try talking into your cell phone when riding any Tokyo subway and you'd be inviting frowns from your fellow passengers. That's how sensitive and considerate they are to other people's comforts. Boy, we still have a long way before we ever reach first world country and citizen status.

9. Know-it-all homo sapiens, who by extension also think they are Simply The Best. Conversations with them is normally a monologue of having to listen painfully to their repeated account of how important they are, how much they know, etc [There's nothing you can throw at me, That I haven't already heard]. All they can talk about is 'Me, me, me', i.e. their really boring selves. You'd think that these know-it-all nerds would've pondered the words of Plato's 'You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation' or even Dale Carnegie's 'You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you', but sadly, no!

10. Callers who instead of identifying who they are and who they want to speak to, demand to know who you are. That's not how it works dude: the caller identifies himself, not the other was around. Like, Hello... (is it me you're looking for?!)! Ok I do that too, ONLY if I call my parents' place and an unfamiliar voice answers. Like last Saturday. Turned out that my nieces and nephew were there and were coming over to give me a surprise!

11. Scrooges, misers, cheapskates and calculative people who are too cheap or stingy with money. We live only once sweetie and while I agree you must set aside some for the future, don't tell me you don't deserve a little luxury from time to time! I know someone whose husband bought her a good watch and, get this, she only wears it once a year during the festive season. How sad! You should enjoy your hard-earned money [and presents received] while you still live 'cause you're gonna leave it all to your squabbling family when you kick the bucket anyway. [The same person is also very calculative so much so that she can advise you the cheapest dental floss per metre on the market. And no, I'm not kidding.] And please, do yourself a favour and buy good, original stuff please. Surely you deserve that to cheap, black market fake imitations. How can you feel good and proud of youself when there are holes in your socks, you sport a fake watch and carry a fake Louis Vuitton? As I've said before, brandless items are much preferable to fake, darling. At least you're not being pretentious.

12. Snotty, insistent, overbearing [and sometimes domineering] salespeople. Some look you up and down as you enter and either proceed with their awful habit of shadowing you - I always feel like stopping mid-way so that they'd bump into me, haha! - or not budge from their seat [I don't mind this, leave me in peace. If I need help, I'll know who to ask from]. Some have the bad habit of rearranging the things you just touched [man, this really irritates me, after all that's why we go to shop anyway, right? To view, hold and feel the product. Otherwise it's better to shop online where you definitely can't touch and feel the product!] Some insist their products are superior to others [I encounter them mainly in pharmacies, trying to outdo each other in promoting their products]. Some couldn't even be bothered to smile at you but the minute a Caucasian steps in, are all over him/her - even if he/she looks dishevelled and is clad in the shabbiest outfit. Talk about prejudice!

13. People who talk about money, how much they have, make, inherit or anything to that effect. It's so not elegant and vulgar. I really don't give a toss about how much money you have.

Phew, that's a long one! Don't say I didn't warn you!

Good Friday

It's Friday again [all together now, hurrah!]. And it's Good Friday and Vasakhi too.

Went out for my usual Friday retail therapy, this time it's to Mad Valley Mega Mall [spelling error intentional. If you're not a KLite, finding parking especially during weekends here is sheer madness and close to impossible and you'll only get a remote spot after endlessly circling the basement parking]. There's a Body Shop booth set up at the Lower Ground Floor where prices of skincare set are slashed, freebies thrown in and you can get experts to analyse your skin type and the products it needs. I was there on Tuesday and had had my skin analysed so today I basically knew what I wanted already. It being Friday lunchtime, the credit card machine was jammed and it took ages for transactions to clear, especially the lady before me. That's Murphy's Law for you: when you're in a hurry, there's always sth in the way. Anyway, there was a complimentary facial thrown in for any set of skincare set and that translates into very good, irresistible bargain. So that's my second facial this month.

Rushed over to Lewre with eyes that somehow refused to focus after all that pampering session and got myself a new pair of sandals. Yes, it's amazing that I managed to do all that - imagine what damage I could do with fully focussed Eyes Wide Open!

Took the wrong turn trying to get to Metrojaya - although vision was completely restored by then - and wasted precious few minutes getting my bearings right again. I don't shop at Mad Valley often enough to get myself acquainted and familiar with the place, unlike KLCC and previously Starhill [now This Used To Be My Playground]. Anyway, desired duffle bag with wheels which I sighted at Metrojaya just three days back is no longer on display nor is it in stock. Boo hoo! Another opportunity cost for me. I initially wanted to buy this Samsonite duffle bag with trolley and during those trips to Isetan KLCC & Lot 10 in those months when I couldn't stretch my budget, it was there Tempting me to grab it and when I decided to finally buy it, it was gone. Zilch. Nada. And I've been all over the city ever since, trying to find desired Samsonite duffle bag with wheels but luck has not been on my side. And now I've set my eyes on another bag of another make. And the same thing is repeating. I'm beginning to think that there's another person out there who's just one step ahead of me, beating me to the things I want to purchase [I always feel like somebody's watching me, Who's playing tricks on me]. Anyway, I know of another place that does stock it but knowing my luck, it's probably sold by the time I get there.

The same member of the public who called previously called again, my colleague's line this time, and me being the good angel I can be at times picked the phone up. No Lost In Translation moment this time around since he spoke English but he was getting more and more annoying by the minute. Seriously, did he expect Royal Treatment every time he calls?

So has it been a Good Friday? So far, a mixture of both. It's good but I'm not lucky in my luggage shopping. Yet. Maybe I'll run over to the other outlet after work and check whether it still stocks the bag I've been eyeing.

GMT + 7 hours: i.e. 5 pm local time... It's pouring!!! That just about dashed my hopes of bagging the bag today!

Treatment Treat

On Friday, The Three Musketeers made up of yours truly and two self-professed Desperate Housewives [their words, not mine] -cum-career ladies went to Hartamas for some long overdue, well-deserved luxury pampering at a beauty spa. The two girlfriends went for the reduction programme while Adek opted for facial. Don't know why I never considered it before, maybe because life's little luxuries cost quite a bit, even if it involves paying someone to spread gooey stuff all over my face.

We were made to change into some uniform and led to different rooms. Some spa music played at the background and while I had someone kneading and massaging my face and shoulders, my two comrades had gel pads stuck to various parts of their bodies which were then hooked up to various wires. Then, from what I understand [and what I saw on a TV show once], their bits of bodies started vibrating, first softly, then [ahem] intensely. Then they had cling films wrapped all over their bodies and when they told me about it after the session, I don't know why but all I could think of were Egyptian mummies. As for pain, I can't imagine how it could compare to having my face being massaged this way and that and slowly dying and silently sreaming as my pimple and blackheads were being probed. Ouch ow ow, the latter part hurt! And yes, do go ahead and cry on my behalf.

When the girl applied mask on my face, it was pleasantly cold and cooling that made me just want to go Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm like the Crash Test Dummies. I started to Relax, what with the soothing background music, I even almost dozed off. It wasn't long though before I started panicking as I was getting worried about the time. And I couldn't peek at my watch either because you can't do that when you're in a mask of course! It didn't help when I heard loud voices outside my room that almost drowned the music - I even wanted to jump out of bed and Rush Rush out, gooey mask on face and all, thinking my comrades were already done and waiting impatiently for me. When the girl came back, she assured me that my friends were not done yet so I tried to Relax again. But I couldn't even Relax when she took off the mask and started massaging my shoulders, yes, I was tense. Plus, the massaging almost made me laugh because it was kind of ticklish and I'm a ticklish person.

Our torture, sweet or otherwise, ended at 2.30 pm and oh, that was when we had to be back in the office! We navigated the traffic like Wild Women Do and reached the office, still very late, so late that someone commented about it. But I mean, if you're late, you're late. Even 10 minutes late is late, right? And more importantly, we had fun and enjoyed our pampering. Maybe next time, I'll go for both manicure and pedicure, then after that I'll get a tiny kitten to stuff in my GUCCI tote and if some lowlife try to snatch my handbag again, I'll throw the kitten at him, bar the tote of course, and he will get clawed, bitten and scratched instead. What an excellent idea! [Now why didn't I think of that before?] Oh, and by the way, we received good news upon reaching the office that we'll be getting a new boss very soon. Yeah! The countdown begins...

Ahhh, It's A Beautiful Day and week ahead - if only stupid Gunners didn't lose to ManU(re) and I didn't waste the whole of this morning listening to crashing bores.

Berhenti Berharap

Aku tak percaya lagi
Dengan apa yang kau beri
Aku terdampar di sini
Tersudut menunggu mati

Aku tak percaya lagi
Akan guna matahari
Dengan mampu menerangi
Sudut gelap hati ini

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat

Kenapa ada derita
Bila bahagia tercipta
Kenapa ada sang hitam
Bila putih menyenangkan...

Chorus:
Aku pulang...tanpa dendam
Kuterima.. kekalahanku
Aku pulang...tanpa dendam
Kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

Kau ajarkan aku bahagia
Kau ajarkan aku derita
Kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
Kau tunjukkan aku derita
Kau berikan aku bahagia
Kau berikan aku derita

- Sheila on 7 -

I don't normally listen to Malay songs, let alone Indonesian, but I like this one. It sounds somewhat haunting, well at least to my ears. Literally translated, the title means 'Stop Hoping'. So, f*ck off!

What's The Story, Morning Glory?

What's The Story, Morning Glory indeed! And the glory [for the moment] belongs to Arsenal... for making it to their first ever Champions League semi-finals. I actually woke up this morning to watch the 2nd half but was flicking between the channels. As much as I like watching footie, watching Arsenal play sometimes make me feel like I'll get a heart attack soon. Anyway, I thought the Barca -Benfica game seemed more exciting, well, what little action I saw anyway. I only just managed to stop myself from cursing out loud at the Gunners a few times, otherwise I'd probably have risked Waking Up The Neighbours. You poor souls won't be so Lucky come June when the World Cup kicks off! Btw, Arsenal did it without a single English player in either of the two legs against both Juventus and Real Madrid. Ah, some might see it as hollow victory for English football but as someone put it, 'Arsenal are an English team and to me it does not matter what nationality it says on the passports, they are Arsenal players'. No place for xenophobia in sport.

A mate is going to Bali in July [wouldn't it be sweltering then?!]. I've never been to Bali and it's not on top of my destination list yet. I still haven't gone to many islands and beaches here! At the moment, Perhentian, Lang Tengah and Sibu Islands sound more tempting to me than Bali or Phuket, and not too touristy either. The same friend is going to Seoul tomorrow midnight on a company trip! How nice! Good thing I've been there, otherwise I'd smuggle myself in her luggage.

Initially I had a plan to go to Siem Reap this weekend 'cause this Tuesday is Maulidur Rasul hence it's a public holiday. So I can just take Monday off. But now I have to go to somewhere on Monday morning. I hate that kind of place, crawling with species of the population I'd rather not mix with and most are so pretentious and look down their noses at the hoi polloi. I suspect most of them don't earn their worth and NATO is part of their everyday drama - No Action, Talk Only!

Anyway, what a bliss the day has been so far, I've been pretty much Left To My Own Devices. It's been raining on and off so it's deliciously cold and cosy at the moment. Alas for me, It's NOT Raining Men!

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Just in case you haven't noticed, this blog started off to document the trips I've gone on so far, a kind of a travelogue if you wish. It also records my past and current journey through life.

I was transported back to my earlier life on my way home yesterday - when we were all younger and I was convinced that We Have All The Time In The World. But the truth is far from simple as always. And the outcome, at least for me, is not necessarily All's Well That Ends Well.

I was introduced to my 1st Beau so many years ago. He had a girlfriend at the time, I was fancying someone else [or I was convinced I fancied the chap] so of course it was a platonic friendship.

Our friendship continued, just as I continued fancying the chap. Then in the midst of pursuing my undergraduate degree, I decided that enough was enough and that I should stop fancying someone who was not going to do anything about it. By this time I was close to someone else and mistook that as a possibility for something else, which needless to say didn't work out either.

1st Beau stayed back in Europe when I returned home to serve my contract.

One fine day, in his email, 1st Beau asked me something which I thought was sweet but strange too. I never replied. Next thing I knew, he was back in KL for hols. He called me up at work and almost as an afterthought mentioned that I hadn't replied his query. I pretended not to comprehend and he actually repeated the question on the phone. It was something akin to a marriage proposal, hence I didn't expect him to repeat it over the phone and while I was at work too. My stammered and stunned reply was that I wasn't yet ready for anyone [I was then getting over someone] and that it wouldn't be fair for me to expect him to wait for me until I was ready. He accepted my decision. He's always been a matured gentleman.

I never felt anything for 1st Beau until then. Apart from innocent casual group outings and accompanying him to college, we only went for a movie during one of the summer breaks when we both chose to return home and even then, I dragged Akak along. I certainly didn't make a big deal out of it.

Three months passed by and I got to thinking that maybe I should consider his proposal. After all, 1st Beau is a decent bloke, comes from a good family, doesn't have many siblings [hence, reduced possibility of headaches for me over potential troublesome siblings-in-law] and has an enviable qualification to boot. So I sent him an email.

He replied to say he had something to tell me. And I immediately knew, even before he told me the details. That he had found someone else. That he could have been mine but would never be mine. Ever. For we are not meant to be.

I picked up the pieces of my life again [after all, what choice did I have?]. Attended his wedding reception with 4th Beau [who I now refer to as Jerk - and not affectionately].

We are still friends - he is one who will always be my friend. And will only be my friend and no more. I hold no grudge against him. I'm not bitter. But I only wish I had emailed him sooner. And I occasionally still think of the what-ifs, especially when I'm lying in bed all alone with my thoughts and emotions. I wonder if it's wrong to still think of him? To think of how I let what possibly could be my only chance at love slip out of my grasp?

Lay a whisper on my pillow, leave the winter on the ground

I wake up lonely, there's air of silence in the bedroom and all around

Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away.

It must have been love but it's over now

It must have been good but I lost it somehow

It must have been love but it's over now

From the moment we touched til the time had run out.

I never met my 2nd Beau. He saw my picture in his friend's wedding album, at which I was a guest, and to his credit and to my knowledge, put in considerable effort trying to find out about me and contacted me. But we never met because I was already going out with Jerk [I didn't want to Play The Field]. It didn't work out with 3rd Beau either as I was going out with Jerk [why do things happen that way? For suddenly It's Raining Men when I was going out with another?]. I refused to go out with 5th Beau because I was getting over Jerk. 2nd, 3rd and 5th Beaux are now all married [4th Beau is still not married but he's probably gay for all I know. And no, I don't know why he had such a Hold On My Heart].

I've had my chances at love but I let them all slip away... I wonder God, have I squandered my chances for good?

It must have been love but it's over now

It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without.

It must have been love but it's over now,

It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows.

These Are The Days Of Our Lives and that is the story of my life thus far. Maybe it has somewhat shed some light as to why I am the way I am, how I am and what I am today. But read this blog and Listen Without Prejudice.

Lost in Translation

I'll be honest and admit that I have been in a few Lost In Translation circumstances, the most recent being:

Un: A member of the public called from a state up north and I had to tell him - at least twice - to slow down. For I was having difficulty understanding him. He spoke very fast and in Kedah dialect too. Finally, I had to do an SOS and asked my colleague to talk to the poor chap. Er, and mind you, he was a Chinese, speaking in Kedah dialect. And I could not, for the life of me, understand him. How embarassing! Five years at boarding school and yet Adek somehow has never managed to learn dialects of her friends from various states. But before you blame me, as I recall it, we spoke only in our unique school lingua franca - Where Everybody Knows Your Name and understands each other of course - and we still do whenever we meet up. And also back at school, we had too much Respect for each other to resort to our various state dialects; and besides it'd simply be rude to make another feel left out.

Deux: I may have been quick to (mis)judge the guy my friend wants to introduce me to. As another mate explained, I wasn't meant to read his reply. And maybe I was reading too much of something that wasn't there and that he didn't even mean. So I should give him a break. And myself too. But I can't help wondering what my friend has told him about me for him to have that much Respect for me and to think of me that highly. It's making me slightly uncomfortable because I wouldn't like to encourage people to think I'm a perfect person when I have a lot of flaws. As I told my friend: 'I'm not actually that reserved myself and I am a bit outgoing. I still go to the movies, alone at times, and I do like to sing sometimes. I'm also learning this Poco Poco dance with some ladies in my department [all-girls session]. Sure there are times when I don't feel very sociable and don't feel like meeting certain people ... so I'm a mix of both and although I have gone for Haj, I still want to enjoy life the way I want it - within limits of course. I'm not sure if he could appreciate a girl like that. But then again, it's kind of normal for me to fall short of people's expectation, especially Malay guys... and if I ever notice anything it's that Malay guys tend to shy away fr me for reasons I can't explain myself. So to be honest, actually I'm not too confident about the success rate of this venture but I have confidence in you and I know you have my interests at heart.'

Confusing and confused Adek is always Misunderstood and she also sometimes misunderstands people. But she'll be quick to admit her error.

Trois: Some chap from another department called on Friday to seek clarification on the acronyms we used in our communication to his side. Now when the acronym is GDP, I suppose most people would just assume it to mean Gross Domestic Product when hey, it could mean just about anything [after all, why should we referring about Gross Domestic Product when it is beyond our realm?!]. And the thing is, we had clearly stated what our definition for GDP is in the very first paragraph and it was a short, sweet one too. Almost asked him whether his query was an early April Fool's joke.

Quatre: Nah, this is not as recent as those three above and besides it could be potentially embarassing so I shall not mention it.