Just Be

‘Act your age’. Ever heard of this before? Or how about comments that range from ‘Grow up!’, ‘Be more mature!’ to ‘Aiyaah, so fierce aaa!’ etc etc etc. I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard enough of all these comments. Sometimes I wonder if I should just follow the numerous advice offered to me about various topics just to keep my ‘advisers’ happy and to shut them up. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I oppose good advice or anything but there’s a limit to what a girl can take. I don’t know if it’s fortunate or otherwise, but I get a lot of advice ranging from how to dress, how to walk, how to find a boyfriend…

Someone once approached me with the noble idea of introducing me to this guy but the guy was concerned that I’m a bit aggressive [define aggressive, I can’t!]. I asked her what she would suggest I do and she said, well, maybe be less aggressive, more feminine and more ladylike, etc. Personally, I think both of them can't tell the difference between being assertive and being aggressive, have never seen the speed at how an average mat or mek saleh walk, how they dress, act, talk etc! Anyway, my reply to her was that I was not willing to compromise my personality just to suit someone’s idea of how a perfect lady [or rather, his definition of one] should be and behave. I mean we haven’t even gone on a date yet and he felt like he has this liberty of commanding how I should behave! I may be wrong but I think that if he feels he has that right, then surely I’m also entitled to that right to command him to behave, act, talk, walk, dress, just as I please too! I thought that if you really like someone, then it should not matter how the other person is [wonder if he’s heard of the song that goes like, ‘she likes me for me…’]. Sure, you could live without some of your partner’s/spouse’s undesirable traits but surely you also have some traits that he/she finds less than flattering. If you both agree to change for the sake of each other, fine. But surely, that would happen after a few dates together!!!

Some friends were amazed that I only started owning a hand-phone a couple of years back. Well, I didn’t own one not because I couldn’t afford it, but because I didn’t like the idea of people being able to interrupt me when I shop, eat out with friends or want to be alone etc. My time is precious enough as it is and sometimes I just don’t fancy the idea of being reachable all the time [especially when I'm on leave and some people from the office still decided it was fine to disturb me then] and to everyone [read: undesirable suitors]. Sure, you can leave a message in the voicemail but what’s the point of having a hand-phone then if people keep having to leave messages in your voicemail! Of course, I later changed my perspective on owning a hand-phone but that was my decision, not others.

And what is wrong if one chooses to have a meal alone, watch a movie, or shop alone? He probably wants to enjoy his own company for once. Enjoy doing things his way once in a while. But the common thinking is that, the poor guy is so pathetic, he doesn’t even have company for lunch! And yet this ‘phenomenon’ is actually a common sight overseas…

I have a friend who likes to clown around. He complained once that people asked him to act his age. I mean, what is wrong with people? Surely, acting the clown once in a while is ok. I believe that no matter how old one is, deep inside is a child who still likes to play. And I recall reading somewhere that behaving that way is perfectly healthy. What I’m trying to say is, we should be ourselves instead of being someone we are not. If you have to listen to everything that people say, you will only drive yourself crazy [yes, no doubt some advice is good, you just have to be selective. Don’t get me wrong: I still welcome ideas, opinions and advice. Just don’t overdo it!]. You should be happy yourself first before trying to make others happy. After all, you have your own life to live.