The War Cup

A Bear* To Cross

So another World Cup is upon us but I don’t plan on watching as many matches as I avidly did in the previous World Cups because of the host country’s invasion of Ukraine, annexation of Crimea and military intervention in Syria. I’m not even excited to watch Germany play and it’s just not a World Cup without Italy anyway. My action may be an isolated insignificant attempt but what I don’t understand is how some people can be so vocal about the inhuman conditions that migrant workers labour in in Qatar but fail to acknowledge the far more serious atrocities done by the Russians. The blood of thousands of murdered Syrians soaks Syrian soil but hey if you have money to host a sporting event, you can continue to slaughter civilians with impunity and get away with genocide. Sick!

* The Russian bear is a widespread symbol for Russia.

And another Syawal is upon us after a month of abstinence, control, restraint, patience, reflection, appreciation and ibadah. Well, actually I’m not sure if we have been exercising restraint and control if the crowds at the bazaars are any indication. Just because we fast for a month doesn’t mean we have to celebrate Eid for a month but some people have the notion that’s how it should be and so Syawal becomes a month of wastage, much flaunting and excess. Muslims in other countries celebrate Eid for maybe a couple of days tops but of course Malay Muslims have to get some kind of payback for having to suffer in Ramadan. Come now, in this era of New Malaysia, let’s exercise prudence and not go to extremes or be extravagant.

I feel sad as Ramadan slips away. I’ll never be ready for Ramadan despite it arriving every year but when it draws to an end, I just feel sad. Please grant me another Ramadan, Allah. Ameen.

Eid Mubarak, everyone.

Parts Unknown

In the space of three days last week, we received news that Kate Spade and then Anthony Bourdain had ended their lives. None of us will ever know why they decided to exit this world the way they did and when they did it. Is it because they want to have some form of ‘control’ over their lives that they want to also be able to control when and how they die? Is it because life has become even more intolerable even for them? Why do people who seemingly have it all – fame, money, an enviable lifestyle – choose to end their lives this way? Do they think that their problems are so bad that life is no longer worth living, that the easiest thing to do is to check out regardless of the consequences this would have among their loved ones?

There had been a time when I would look at the river and wonder how it would feel like to throw myself over the bridge. This was a long, long time ago and while I wasn’t suicidal, I did wonder what would happen if I let myself fall into the water below. I’m thankful I have my faith to stop me from any suicidal thoughts and crazy acts but I still couldn’t help wondering. I also think those who end their lives are actually brave to do it because the coward that I am would never be able to hurt or inflict pain on myself. This does not mean that I condone their action in any way. Sure, life gets to us all. No one is so unique as to be spared life’s problems but to end my life would feel like an ungrateful act to Allah who gave me this life. And besides, I’m not that selfish enough to do that to my parents and family and loved ones.

Depression, life issues, health problems, family and/or marital problems, disorder (bipolar, borderline personality, Asperger’s and other types of disorder). Who don’t have any one or a combination of these? Some even have problems which tick all the boxes but still they have a passion for life. This is what makes Bourdain’s suicide puzzling to me. He appeared so passionate and hungry for life and that’s what makes his suicide especially hard to grasp. It just shows that people also may have parts unknown where they need help. But they must also know that they should seek for help. They should not be embarrassed to be seen to be asking for help.

So if you or know someone who have parts unknown to others, do reach out and seek help. Don’t let yourself drift deeper into the parts unknown. If you don’t like human company, you might consider getting a pet: a cat, some fish, guinea pig, or hamster. Pet therapy has been proven to treat mental illness. On my part, I also find it helpful to talk and confide to Allah. I understand some of us are private people who don’t like to unburden our problems onto others, who don’t want to trouble and worry others, who are secretive or just have trust issues with others so talking to a Higher Being would really help. Similarly, if you know someone suffering, pay attention and listen to them. Show empathy and not judgement. Make them feel that they’re not as alone as they think. We can all help each other.

This life is never meant to be a rose garden. We will always be tested in one way or another. That’s just how life is. Life can be frustrating, depressing and upsetting and it can drag you down but it can also be wonderful and fulfilling. While it’s all too easy to just give up and want to die, know that life is always a better alternative to death (unless you have terminal disease). Life is such a precious gift that we should cherish every moment. It’s a blessing to be alive and be able to impact other lives. We can all contribute while we’re alive (just look at Tun M!). Besides, you never know whose life you’re touching. So let’s choose to live and try to make it a worthy meaningful life. Ask any of the refugees fleeing for their lives and risking their lives while trying to save themselves and I’m sure they will tell you they all want to live despite everything they have lost. As for me, like a line from Bon Jovi’s It’s My life, ¯I just want to live while I’m alive...¯