My
dad came back from the surau after Maghrib on Tuesday (he usually stays until
after Isya’ prayers) claiming he had sudden vision loss in his right eye. Some
kind folks helped drive him home. I told my sister and she then told me that
she asked her doctor friend who advised to bring to the hospital immediately
because it could be a symptom of stroke.
So
after dinner which I just gulped and barely tasted, I brought him to Ampang
Puteri. We were in luck for the ophthalmologist (the same ophthalmologist who
treated Mummy’s glaucoma back then) was on call then and she brought us to her
clinic. Akak had arrived before the ophthalmologist came so I wasn’t alone.
After some tests, she concluded it was a stroke of the eye and that it was not
diabetes-related but his medical condition. It could be due to his diabetes, hypertension,
high cholesterol, heart valve problems or age, or all of them. She advised us
to bring him to see a cardiologist although she did say that late at night, the
cardiologist would not be able to see dad there and then anyway. As dad doesn’t
have medical insurance and as he’s already seeing the doctors at Hospital
Ampang for his heart, she urged us to bring him to Hospital Ampang immediately
as it was an emergency.
We
went back to pack (in case he had to be admitted) before heading for Hospital
Ampang. We arrived just before 01:00. As you know, the process is always a lot
slower at government hospitals and we were not spared. We had to wait until
well past 3 a.m. before Abah’s number was called. The attending doctor
consulted her colleague then told us she needed to check with the
ophthalmologist. We had another wait before we were called again. She said she
had made an appointment for us to see the ophthalmologist early the next
morning so she suggested we head back home, get some rest and return at 07:00.
It was after 04:30 then. I managed to somehow finish a book I just started on
my ride home and caught up with the footie scores during the long pre-dawn
wait.
We
got back at almost 05:00 and I tried to grab some sleep. I set my alarm for 6
and we left just before 7, reaching the hospital at 07:11. It was another round
of wait for us to get our number and we had to register him at the
ophthalmologist counter first before returning to the admissions counter for
the number. After that, we waited a bit before we were called. Another round of
tests and then they put some eye drops into dad’s eyes to dilate the pupils. We
then had to wait for the eye drops to open up the pupils and in the meantime,
went to get dad’s sugar level and blood pressure taken. Then it was back to the
first room. The doctor then consulted the ophthalmologist proper and he came
over, had a look and then explained the situation (the scientific name is
‘branch retinal artery occlusion’) to us. He said the first 90 minutes after
vision loss is crucial and what they call the ‘golden hour’ where treatment
must be sought. Treatment beyond that may not be as effective. He also said
that there is not much anyone could do in this situation although we could
still try of course (ikhtiar) with eye massage and eye drop.
We
then had to endure another wait for the nurse to take photos of my dad’s eyes
and then another return trip to the first room where the first doctor asked us
to return in a week’s time. After that, I went to wait to get appointment
sorted before we went down to the pharmacy to get the prescribed eye drop. We
left after 12 noon.
Akak
brought my dad back to her place yesterday afternoon. When he went to stay with
Akak back in December then again in January, I felt sad when he went. I’m not
the world’s best daughter, what with my short fuse and temper but I try my
best. And now I don’t know if he’ll come back to stay in our house because he
can’t even drive anymore with his limited vision. I think this is why I woke up
feeling very sad on Monday.
Oh
Allah, You give us so many gifts and blessings in so many forms and You take
them back one by one, bit by bit. It just shows how fragile, helpless and
powerless we really are and again I don’t see why some people have to be so
arrogant and proud when there’s a greater being out there.
~~~~~~~~
I
so dislike hospitals and it’s a sobering and humbling experience to be there
and to have spent such a long time there (yes, I know I was there only a
fraction of the time some other people endured especially those who have to
make weekly visits). Indeed, we are encouraged to visit the sick so that we’re
reminded of death and our mortality. You see human drama being played out at
every turn – pain, suffering, acceptance – and if that doesn’t make you be
aware of how utterly helpless and powerless we actually are, then I don’t know
what will. Again, I was reminded of how it would be for me if I were to not
have jodoh and be single forever. I would definitely have to live in an
assisted living facility then. Of course there’s no guarantee your spouse and
grown children will take care of you either.
At
the hospital yesterday, I also thought of how scary it is that most of us
choose to neglect our health and well-being or take it for granted, how lackadaisical
the attitude of some of us who live our lives as if we will be healthy forever
and how ungrateful we are to God who created us when we subject our bodies to
such abuse with our thoughtless feeding and lack of care. I also wondered at
the point of asking for a long life because what’s the point of longevity if
one is riddled with diseases (Dear Allah, I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m
ungrateful for my life but yes, this thought crossed my mind)? I know the last
my parents want is to burden us all but I’m glad my sister and I are able in
our own way to care for them.
This
is life. ‘He Who created death and life to
test which of you
is best in action. He is the Almighty, the Ever-Forgiving. (Surat al-Mulk: 2).’
Even when we don’t understand what’s going on, we have to trust the Almighty
because He has worked it all out for us. He has a specific purpose for our
respective lives and we need to trust Him fully. We will be tested and
tried, there’s no question about it, and we have to bear patience. The Almighty
won’t make us endure more than we can bear. There’s so much we can’t control
but what we can do is to focus on the things that we can control and trust the
Almighty to take care of all the rest. Oh Allah, grant ease to everyone going
through trials and may we face every new day with hope in our hearts. Lighten
our burden. Amen.
