Ramadan Ramblings

I don’t think I’m incorrect in saying that we girls are an insecure lot. We keep seeking reassurance of how we look and even we are assured that we look pretty, fine and dandy, we are still not satisfied with the answer (because hey being pretty is not as good as being gorgeous or beautiful). We wonder if the person we ask is being truthful or just tactful, we scrutinise ourselves critically in the mirror trying to find fault with our poor selves, and even if everyone says we look good, we don’t want to believe it. We refuse to accept we are good enough, we compare ourselves relentlessly to celebrities, and we keep thinking ‘If only my eyes are bigger, my nose sharper, my mouth fuller, my cheekbones more pronounced, etc etc etc’. In short, there is just no satisfying us. And you know, you can’t quite blame us for being insecure when we are constantly bombarded by advertisements, articles, documentaries of how an ideal girl looks like, never mind that we are made up of different genetics, body statures, observe different diets, do different jobs, come from different backgrounds and live in different environments.

To make it worse, we also have those mean spiteful malicious women who look down on and put other women down. They are not happy to see others happy and content with themselves; no, instead they are intent on destroying other girls because they are insecure, unhappy and discontent themselves. Why? Why can’t the fairer sex be true to its name and be true and fair to fellow females? Why are we our own worst enemies? Why don’t we help each other, encourage each other and pick someone who’s fallen down instead of pushing her down further? It’s bad enough that we can never have it right: a thin girl is slated for being thin and encouraging others to observe poor eating habits and less-than-normal lifestyle, while an overweight girl is criticised for neglecting herself, for not taking good care of herself and for not living a healthy lifestyle.

It’s not wrong to be insecure; after all, girls are known for their insecurities. It is wrong though to be so insecure with oneself that one resorts to putting others down just so that one would look better. It’s not wrong to envy someone for looking good as long as it prompts us to better ourselves too. But it is wrong to be harsh and critical of another. I believe a beautiful person is one who is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside and someone who is spiteful, malicious and mean is not beautiful to me no matter how gorgeous on the outside s/he is.

So girls, let’s strive to be our best, bring out the beautiful girls that’s within ourselves. Be confident of yourself and don’t let anyone stop you from realising your dreams. Don’t let anyone’s criticism or harsh words bring you down. Exercise, get enough sleep, observe a healthy lifestyle, follow a healthy diet, and be kind to everyone else.

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Peter Cech to Arsenal? I don’t know what to make of this. I don’t trust the Chav club owner or the despicable manager at all to believe they would sell him to us. And if we get him, what will happen to Ospina or Szcz? But what do I know. I don’t know if I want him, if he’s going to be such an upgrade to our current goalies. Sure, he was a decent one but he hasn’t been a regular starter for the Chavs of late.

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I think it’s time to update my Bagaholic post. I’ll get around to it. In the meantime, I seriously want these bags. Sponsors and donations are welcome. Yes, I know that there are a lot of people more in need of the bare necessities like those affected by the quake in Nepal and Ranau, Sabah. And yes, I’ve done my little bit to help them. It’s not wrong to covet a couple of bags, yes?

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It’s a week into Ramadan today and I trust it’s not too late to wish you Ramadan Kareem.

Story Of The Eye

I was on medical leave the whole of last week due to corneal ulcer. Say what, corneal ulcer?! Yes, that was the first time I heard of it myself too.

My left eye started smarting and tearing on Tuesday, a fortnight ago. It got so bad that I decided to set my vanity aside and wear glasses to work on Wednesday. The white eye looked red and thinking it was conjunctivitis, I went to the panel clinic. The GP took a brief look and said it was conjunctivitis too. She said it was at the early stage and gave me some eye drops. She did ask if I needed medical leave and I told her that as I was already at work, I might as well work.

The eye seemed to improve on Thursday evening and it didn’t look red any longer. I did notice a white dot in my black eye though. Thinking it was nothing, I decided to wear contact lens to work the following day.

Well, it was fine until shortly after lunch when my left eye started tearing and smarting again. This time, it was worse than on Tuesday. I somehow made it through work and the journey home half-blind. It worsened that evening so much so it hurt to even read, what more watch TV. Even the light overhead hurt. I had already decided to go to an ophthalmologist the following morning and had checked those at Ampang Puteri and Gleneagles. I decided on the latter and went to bed just after 10 p.m.

I woke up just after midnight and my left eye was really hurting. It was leaking fluid of some sort and when I tried to open my eyes, I could barely see out of my left eye. I wiped off the fluid and tried to go back to sleep but sleep was elusive. I laid awake suffering and hurting and prayed that it would get better soon. My eye kept leaking fluid so much so I wondered if I had an abscess in it.

I reached Gleneagles after 9 on Saturday and went to the Accident and Emergency department. A medical officer examined me and noted the white dot in my left eye. She was not comfortable and rang up the ophthalmologist on call. He was at another clinic at MidValley and would only come at 2 p.m. so they offered me a bed to lie down in or to go home and return. I decided to stay instead. a nurse came and helped put in some eye drops before patching up my left eye. I tried to rest but it was next to impossible as there were people passing by and although there was a curtain to accord privacy, it couldn’t filter out the noise of a hospital: the trolley being pulled, the chatter of nurses, even the snore from the patient in the next bed. Somehow time passed and I was gently awakened just before 2 p.m. by a nurse who told me the ophthalmologist had already arrived.

The ophthalmologist examined my eye and subjected it to some tests. I had to open my eye wide, had some eye drop put in, stare at the light while he took some sample. I’m not a brave person, never have been and never will be, I fear pain and don’t welcome it and the very thought of someone scraping my eye for a sample didn’t sit well with me at all. It was soon over though, thank God. The good-looking doctor told me that it was a corneal ulcer and that the cause was contact lens. Say what? Corneal ulcer? I never knew there was such a thing and what did he mean it was from my contact lens? He also told me that to bring the eye drops given by the GP and tell her that not only had she given me the wrong medication, it would even worsen my eye condition. He lamented the fact that some GPs would just do a quick check and conclude it’s conjunctivitis when it could be something much more serious.

He prescribed me some eye drops and I went to wait. After 15 minutes, a nurse came out and told me the medication would take some time to prepare and that I might want to either return later or lie down. ‘Three to four hours,’ she said and I stared at her in disbelief.

Well, I didn’t stay there but instead, feeling sufficiently better, made my way to KLCC. I returned later, at 7 p.m. and there were four eye drops waiting for me with various instructions.

So that was how that Saturday was spent and how last week was spent (I was dying of boredom even before Monday was over!). Alhamdulillah I’m recovering well although I have to wear those stupid glasses now. I’m seriously considering LASIK now.

FA Cup Final 2015: Arsenal vs Aston Villa

I’ll let the pictures do the talking.